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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Ez 37:28 Tuomet tautos žinos, kad aš, Viešpats, pašventinu Izraelį, ir mano šventykla bus tarp jų per amžius. ’"
Eze 37:28 And the heathen shall know that I the LORD do sanctify Israel, when my sanctuary shall be in the midst of them for evermore.
Joz 14:3 Mat Mozė jau buvo davęs paveldo dalis dviem su puse giminių anapus Jordano; tarp jų esantiems levitams paveldo dalies jis nedavė.
Jos 14:3 For Moses had given the inheritance of two tribes and an half tribe on the other side Jordan: but unto the Levites he gave none inheritance among them.
1Kar 17:6 Varnai atnešdavo jam duonos ir mėsos kas rytą ir kas vakarą, o iš upelio jis atsigerdavo.
1Ki 17:6 And the ravens brought him bread and flesh in the morning, and bread and flesh in the evening; and he drank of the brook.
2Sam 17:15 Tada Hušajas pasakė kunigams Cadokui ir Abjatarui: "Taip ir taip patarė Ahitofelis Abšalomui ir Izraelio seniūnams. Taip ir taip patariau aš.
2Sa 17:15 Then said Hushai unto Zadok and to Abiathar the priests, Thus and thus did Ahithophel counsel Absalom and the elders of Israel; and thus and thus have I counselled.
Koh 5:2 Niekada neskubėk kalbėti ir neleisk savo širdžiai tarti žodžio Dievo akivaizdoje, nes Dievas danguje, o tu žemėje. Taupyk savo žodžius.
Ec 5:2 Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.
Jok 5:14 Kas nors pas jus serga? Tepasikviečia Bažnyčios vyresniuosius, ir jie tesimeldžia už jį, patepdami aliejumi Viešpaties vardu.
Ja 5:14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
Ez 47:14 o likusį kraštą dalysitės po lygiai. Kadangi prisiekiau duoti jį jūsų protėviams, šis kraštas bus jūsų paveldas.
Eze 47:14 And ye shall inherit it, one as well as another: concerning the which I lifted up mine hand to give it unto your fathers: and this land shall fall unto you for inheritance.
Ps 103:12 Kaip toli Rytai nuo Vakarų, taip toli nuo mūsų jis išsklaido mūsų nuodėmes.
Ps 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
Mk 13:26 Tada žmonės pamatys Žmogaus Sūnų, ateinantį debesyse su didžia galia ir šlove.
Mar 13:26 And then shall they see the Son of man coming in the clouds with great power and glory.
Ps 119:150 Artinasi tie, kurie į mane kėsinasi, nutolę nuo tavo Įstatymo.
Ps 119:150 They draw nigh that follow after mischief: they are far from thy law.
Apr 2:8 Smirnos Bažnyčios angelui rašyk: ‘Tai sako Pirmasis ir Paskutinysis, kuris buvo numiręs ir vėl grįžo į gyvenimą.
Re 2:8 And unto the angel of the church in Smyrna write; These things saith the first and the last, which was dead, and is alive;
Job 26:4 Kieno patariamas tu tarei žodžiusir kieno alsavimas išėjo iš tavęs?
Job 26:4 To whom hast thou uttered words? and whose spirit came from thee?
Iš 30:24 penkių šimtų šekelių (pagal šventyklos šekelį) vertės kasijos ir vieną hiną alyvmedžio aliejaus.
Ex 30:24 And of cassia five hundred shekels, after the shekel of the sanctuary, and of oil olive an hin:
Ps 97:2 Jį gaubia debesys ir tamsa, ant teisumo ir teisingumo stovi jo sostas.
Ps 97:2 Clouds and darkness are round about him: righteousness and judgment are the habitation of his throne.
Ps 52:9 Dėkosiu tau amžinai už visa, ką tu padarei. Ištikimųjų akivaizdoje skelbsiu tavo vardą, nes jis geras.
Ps 52:9 I will praise thee for ever, because thou hast done it: and I will wait on thy name; for it is good before thy saints.
Koh 3:21 Kas žino, ar žmogaus gyvybės alsavimas kyla aukštyn, ar gyvulio gyvybės alsavimas leidžiasi žemyn, į žemę?
Ec 3:21 Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?
Iz 46:5 Su kuo palyginsite maneir su kuo sulyginsite mane? Arba su kuo sugretinsite mane, kad būtume panašūs?
Isa 46:5 To whom will ye liken me, and make me equal, and compare me, that we may be like?
Iš 39:27 Aaronui ir jo sūnums pagamino tunikas iš plonos drobės,
Ex 39:27 And they made coats of fine linen of woven work for Aaron, and for his sons,
Ts 2:18 Pažadinęs jiems teisėją, Viešpats būdavo su teisėju ir gelbėdavo juos iš priešų rankų per visą teisėjo gyvenimą, nes gailėdavosi jų, aimanuojančių dėl engėjų ir niokotojų.
Judg 2:18 And when the LORD raised them up judges, then the LORD was with the judge, and delivered them out of the hand of their enemies all the days of the judge: for it repented the LORD because of their groanings by reason of them that oppressed them and vexed them.
Jn 13:7 Jėzus jam atsakė: "Tu dabar nesupranti, ką aš darau, bet vėliau suprasi. "
Jo 13:7 Jesus answered and said unto him, What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter.

Sanctus Corpus Deus