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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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2Kar 11:18 Tada visi šalies žmonės, nuėję į Baalo šventyklą, nugriovė ją, sutrupino aukurus ir statulas, o Baalo kunigą Mataną užmušė priešais aukurus. Pastatęs sargybinius Viešpaties Namuose, kunigas Jehojada
2Ki 11:18 And all the people of the land went into the house of Baal, and brake it down; his altars and his images brake they in pieces thoroughly, and slew Mattan the priest of Baal before the altars. And the priest appointed officers over the house of the LORD.
Pr 22:20 Atsitiko taip, kad po šių įvykių Abraomas gavo žinią: "Milka irgi pagimdė vaikų tavo broliui Nahorui:
Ge 22:20 And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she hath also born children unto thy brother Nahor;
1Tim 1:10 paleistuviams, sanguliautojams su vyrais, vergų pirkliams, melagiams, kreivai prisiekiantiems ir visiems, kurie priešinasi sveikam mokslui.
1Ti 1:10 For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;
Apd 3:16 Jėzaus vardas ­ dėlei tikėjimo jo vardu ­ tvirtą padarė tą, kurį jūs matote ir pažįstate. Iš Jėzaus kylantis tikėjimas suteikė jam tikrą sveikatą jūsų visų akyse.
Ac 3:16 And his name through faith in his name hath made this man strong, whom ye see and know: yea, the faith which is by him hath given him this perfect soundness in the presence of you all.
Įst 26:9 Jis įvedė mus į šią vietą ir davė mums šį kraštą ­ kraštą, tekantį pienu ir medumi.
De 26:9 And he hath brought us into this place, and hath given us this land, even a land that floweth with milk and honey.
Ez 44:21 Kunigas, kai turės eiti į vidaus kiemą, negers vyno.
Eze 44:21 Neither shall any priest drink wine, when they enter into the inner court.
1Sam 24:16 Dovydui baigus sakyti Sauliui visus tuos dalykus, Saulius tarė: "Ar tai tavo balsas, mano sūnau Dovydai? " Ir Saulius balsu pravirko.
1Sa 24:16 And it came to pass, when David had made an end of speaking these words unto Saul, that Saul said, Is this thy voice, my son David? And Saul lifted up his voice, and wept.
Iz 43:27 Man nusidėjo tavo protėvis, sukilo prieš mane tavo atstovai,
Isa 43:27 Thy first father hath sinned, and thy teachers have transgressed against me.
Ts 21:13 Visa bendrija davė žinią Benjamino giminės vyrams prie Rimono uolos ir paskelbė jiems taiką.
Judg 21:13 And the whole congregation sent some to speak to the children of Benjamin that were in the rock Rimmon, and to call peaceably unto them.
1Kar 12:32 Jeroboamas įvedė iškilmę aštunto mėnesio penkioliktą dieną, panašią į iškilmę Judo žemėje, ir atnašavo aukas ant aukuro. Taip jis darė Betelyje, atnašaudamas savo padarytiems veršiams. Į Betelį paskyrė kunigus aukštumų alkuose, kuriuos buvo pastatęs.
1Ki 12:32 And Jeroboam ordained a feast in the eighth month, on the fifteenth day of the month, like unto the feast that is in Judah, and he offered upon the altar. So did he in Bethel, sacrificing unto the calves that he had made: and he placed in Bethel the priests of the high places which he had made.
Ps 73:17 kol neįėjau į Dievo šventovę; tik įėjęs suvokiau, kas nutiks nedorėliams.
Ps 73:17 Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end.
Ps 68:10 tavo žmonės ten rado namus; iš savo gerumo, Dieve, tu pasirūpinai vargstančiais.
Ps 68:10 Thy congregation hath dwelt therein: thou, O God, hast prepared of thy goodness for the poor.
2Krn 22:5 Be to, sekdamas jų patarimu, jis palydėjo Izraelio karalių Ahabo sūnų Jehoramą į mūšį prieš Aramo karalių Hazaelį prie Ramot Gileado. Ten Jehoramas buvo aramėjų sužeistas.
2Ch 22:5 He walked also after their counsel, and went with Jehoram the son of Ahab king of Israel to war against Hazael king of Syria at Ramothgilead: and the Syrians smote Joram.
Lk 12:45 Bet jeigu anas tarnas pasakys pats sau: ‘Mano šeimininkas neskuba grįžti’, ir ims mušti tarnus bei tarnaites, valgyti, gerti ir girtuokliauti,
Lu 12:45 But and if that servant say in his heart, My lord delayeth his coming; and shall begin to beat the menservants and maidens, and to eat and drink, and to be drunken;
Apd 8:16 Mat ji dar nebuvo nė vienam jų nužengusi, ir jie tebuvo pakrikštyti Viešpaties Jėzaus vardu.
Ac 8:16 (For as yet he was fallen upon none of them: only they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.)
Mk 13:23 Todėl būkite apdairūs; aš jus iš anksto dėl visko įspėjau.
Mar 13:23 But take ye heed: behold, I have foretold you all things.
Rd 3:14 Pajuoka tapau visai savo tautai, jie visą dieną dainomis tyčiojasi iš manęs.
La 3:14 I was a derision to all my people; and their song all the day.
Mt 26:75 Tada Petras prisiminė Jėzaus žodžius: "Dar gaidžiui nepragydus, tu tris kartus manęs išsiginsi. " Jis išėjo laukan ir graudžiai pravirko.
Mat 26:75 And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly.
Mt 13:19 Pas kiekvieną, kuris girdi žodį apie karalystę ir nesupranta, ateina piktasis ir išplėšia, kas buvo pasėta širdyje. Tai ir yra pasėlys prie kelio.
Mat 13:19 When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side.
1Sam 28:22 Dabar prašyčiau, kad ir tu paklausytum savo tarnaitės balso. Leisk man padėti prieš tave riekę duonos. Valgyk, kad turėtumei jėgų eiti savo keliu. "
1Sa 28:22 Now therefore, I pray thee, hearken thou also unto the voice of thine handmaid, and let me set a morsel of bread before thee; and eat, that thou mayest have strength, when thou goest on thy way.

Sanctus Corpus Deus