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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Apd 15:6 Apaštalai ir vyresnieji susirinko šio klausimo apsvarstyti.
Ac 15:6 And the apostles and elders came together for to consider of this matter.
Am 6:4 Vargas tiems, kurie guli dramblio kaulo lovose, dykaduoniauja savo guoliuose, valgo ėriukus, paimtus iš kaimenės, ir veršius iš gardo!
Am 6:4 That lie upon beds of ivory, and stretch themselves upon their couches, and eat the lambs out of the flock, and the calves out of the midst of the stall;
2Tim 4:2 skelbk žodį, veik laiku ir nelaiku, bark, drausk, ragink su didžiu kantrumu ir kaip išmanydamas.
2Ti 4:2 Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine.
Iz 18:3 Visi, kurie esate pasaulyje, visi žemės gyventojai, kai ženklas bus iškeltas ant kalno, žiūrėkite! Kai sugaus ragas, klausykitės!
Isa 18:3 All ye inhabitants of the world, and dwellers on the earth, see ye, when he lifteth up an ensign on the mountains; and when he bloweth a trumpet, hear ye.
Ez 30:17 Jauni Ono ir Pi Beseto vyraižus nuo kalavijo, o patys miestai išeis į nelaisvę.
Eze 30:17 The young men of Aven and of Pibeseth shall fall by the sword: and these cities shall go into captivity.
Apd 13:4 Šventosios Dvasios siunčiami, jie nukeliavo į Seleukiją, o iš ten laivu pasiekė Kiprą.
Ac 13:4 So they, being sent forth by the Holy Ghost, departed unto Seleucia; and from thence they sailed to Cyprus.
Mt 27:37 Viršum jo galvos jie prisegė užrašytą jo kaltinimą: "Šitas yra Jėzus, žydų karalius. "
Mat 27:37 And set up over his head his accusation written, THIS IS JESUS THE KING OF THE JEWS.
Jer 23:40 Paženklinsiu jus amžina gėda, amžina nešlove, kuri niekada nebus užmiršta. "
Jer 23:40 And I will bring an everlasting reproach upon you, and a perpetual shame, which shall not be forgotten.
Iš 19:22 Net kunigai, iš arti tarnaujantys Viešpačiui, turi save pašventinti, idant Viešpats neatsisuktų prieš juos. "
Ex 19:22 And let the priests also, which come near to the LORD, sanctify themselves, lest the LORD break forth upon them.
1Kar 1:51 Saliamonui buvo pranešta: "Adonijas bijo Saliamono ir laikosi aukuro ragų, sakydamas: ‘Tegu karalius Saliamonas man pirma prisiekia, kad neužmuš savo tarno kalaviju. ’"
1Ki 1:51 And it was told Solomon, saying, Behold, Adonijah feareth king Solomon: for, lo, he hath caught hold on the horns of the altar, saying, Let king Solomon swear unto me today that he will not slay his servant with the sword.
Apd 4:29 O dabar, Viešpatie, atkreipk akis į jų grasinimus ir suteik saviesiems tarnams drąsos atvirai skelbti tavo žodį.
Ac 4:29 And now, Lord, behold their threatenings: and grant unto thy servants, that with all boldness they may speak thy word,
Mt 12:47 O kažkas jam pranešė: "Štai tavo motina ir broliai stovi lauke, nori su tavim pasikalbėti. "
Mat 12:47 Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee.
Ps 90:5 Tu užbaigi žmonių gyvenimą miegu; jie lyg žolė, kuri auštant išdygsta,
Ps 90:5 Thou carriest them away as with a flood; they are as a sleep: in the morning they are like grass which groweth up.
Pr 43:25 Laukdami Juozapo pareinant vidudienį, jie išdėliojo dovanas, nes buvo nugirdę, kad čia pietaus.
Ge 43:25 And they made ready the present against Joseph came at noon: for they heard that they should eat bread there.
1Kar 6:8 Įėjimas į vidurinį aukštą buvo dešiniajame Namų šone. Sraigtiniais laiptais buvo patenkama į vidurinio aukšto kambarius, o iš vidurinio aukšto ­ į trečio aukšto kambarius.
1Ki 6:8 The door for the middle chamber was in the right side of the house: and they went up with winding stairs into the middle chamber, and out of the middle into the third.
Žyd 13:17 Klausykite savo vadovų ir būkite jiems atsidavę, nes jie budi jūsų sielų labui, būdami atsakingi už jas; tada jie tai darys su džiaugsmu, o ne dūsaudami, nes tai nebūtų jums naudinga.
He 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.
Jok 2:5 Paklausykite, mano mylimieji broliai: ar Dievas neišsirinko pasaulio akyse vargdienių, kad jie būtų turtingi tikėjimo ir paveldėtų karalystę, pažadėtą jį mylintiems?
Ja 2:5 Hearken, my beloved brethren, Hath not God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom which he hath promised to them that love him?
Iz 65:10 Mano tautai, ieškančiai manęs, Šarono lyguma bus ganykla kaimenėms, Achoro slėnys ­ žardiena galvijams.
Isa 65:10 And Sharon shall be a fold of flocks, and the valley of Achor a place for the herds to lie down in, for my people that have sought me.
Job 31:33 Jeigu nuslėpiau savo nusižengimus kaip Adomas, tai laikiau savo kaltę giliai krūtinėje,
Job 31:33 If I covered my transgressions as Adam, by hiding mine iniquity in my bosom:
Neh 1:9 bet jeigu sugrįšite pas mane ir laikysitės mano įsakymų, juos vykdydami, nors jūsų išblaškytieji būtų prie pačių dangaus skliauto pakraščių, aš surinksiu juos ten ir parvesiu į vietą, kurią esu išsirinkęs buveine savo vardui. ’
Ne 1:9 But if ye turn unto me, and keep my commandments, and do them; though there were of you cast out unto the uttermost part of the heaven, yet will I gather them from thence, and will bring them unto the place that I have chosen to set my name there.

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