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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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1Jn 4:10 Meilė ­ ne tai, jog mes pamilome Dievą, bet kad jis mus pamilo ir atsiuntė savo Sūnųkaip permaldavimą už mūsų nuodėmes.
1J 4:10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Sk 26:41 Tokie tat yra Benjamino palikuonys pagal jų kiltis. Įtrauktųjų į sąrašą buvo keturiasdešimt penki tūkstančiai šeši šimtai.
Nu 26:41 These are the sons of Benjamin after their families: and they that were numbered of them were forty and five thousand and six hundred.
Jer 34:14 ‘Kas septintus metus kiekvienas jūsų duos laisvę savo tautiečiui hebrajui, tau save pardavusiam. Šešerius metus jis bus tavo vergas, o po to tu duosi jam laisvę. ’ Tačiau jūsų tėvai neklausė ir į mane nekreipė dėmesio.
Jer 34:14 At the end of seven years let ye go every man his brother an Hebrew, which hath been sold unto thee; and when he hath served thee six years, thou shalt let him go free from thee: but your fathers hearkened not unto me, neither inclined their ear.
Lk 16:27 Tas vėl tarė: ‘Tai meldžiu tave, tėve, nusiųsk jį bent į mano tėvo namus;
Lu 16:27 Then he said, I pray thee therefore, father, that thou wouldest send him to my father's house:
Pr 6:16 Padaryk stoglangį ir užbaik laivą viena uolektimi viršum jo. Įtaisyk laivo šone angą ir pastatyk laivą su žemutiniu, antru ir trečiu aukštu.
Ge 6:16 A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.
Žyd 13:25 Malonė teesie su jumis visais!
He 13:25 Grace be with you all. Amen.
Mk 7:26 Moteris buvo graikė, kilimo sirofinikietė. Ji maldavo išvaryti iš jos dukrelės demoną.
Mar 7:26 The woman was a Greek, a Syrophenician by nation; and she besought him that he would cast forth the devil out of her daughter.
Apd 8:22 Verčiau apgailėk šią savo nedorybę ir melsk Viešpatį; gal jis atleis tavo širdies paklydimą.
Ac 8:22 Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.
Rut 4:11 Visi vartuose buvę žmonės ir seniūnai atsakė: "Mes esame liudytojai! Tegu Viešpats padaro moterį, ateinančią į tavo namus, panašią į Rachelę ir Lėją, kurios kartu kūrė Izraelio namus. Klestėk Efratoje ir įamžink savo vardą Betliejuje!
Ru 4:11 And all the people that were in the gate, and the elders, said, We are witnesses. The LORD make the woman that is come into thine house like Rachel and like Leah, which two did build the house of Israel: and do thou worthily in Ephratah, and be famous in Bethlehem:
Ez 5:9 Dėl visų tavo bjaurių nusikaltimų padarysiu tau, ko dar niekada nesu daręs ir į ką panašaus niekada daugiau nedarysiu.
Eze 5:9 And I will do in thee that which I have not done, and whereunto I will not do any more the like, because of all thine abominations.
1Kor 7:21 Jei buvai pašauktas, būdamas vergas, nesisielok, bet jei ir gali tapti laisvas, verčiau pasinaudok .
1C 7:21 Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.
Pr 21:13 Bet ir vergės sūnų padarysiu didele tauta, nes ir jis yra tavo palikuonis. "
Ge 21:13 And also of the son of the bondwoman will I make a nation, because he is thy seed.
Lk 3:27 sūnaus Joanano , sūnaus Resos, sūnaus Zorobabelio , sūnaus Salatielio , sūnaus Nerio ,
Lu 3:27 Which was the son of Joanna, which was the son of Rhesa, which was the son of Zorobabel, which was the son of Salathiel, which was the son of Neri,
Ps 71:2 Kadangi tu teisus, ateik į pagalbą ir išgelbėk, atkreipk į mane savo ausį ir padėk man!
Ps 71:2 Deliver me in thy righteousness, and cause me to escape: incline thine ear unto me, and save me.
Kun 24:6 Sudėsi juos dviem eilėmis, po šešis kiekvienoje eilėje, ant stalo iš gryno [aukso] Viešpaties akivaizdoje.
Le 24:6 And thou shalt set them in two rows, six on a row, upon the pure table before the LORD.
Iz 58:5 Argi man prie širdies šitoks pasninkas ­diena, kai žmogus nusižemina, nuleidžia galvą kaip nendrėir guli apsivilkęs ašutine pelenuose? Ar tai tu vadini pasninku, Viešpačiui malonia diena?
Isa 58:5 Is it such a fast that I have chosen? a day for a man to afflict his soul? is it to bow down his head as a bulrush, and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him? wilt thou call this a fast, and an acceptable day to the LORD?
Ps 27:2 Kai nedori žmonės užpuola mane, norėdami mane suėsti, jie, mano užpuolikai ir priešai, klumpa ir žūva.
Ps 27:2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.
Mt 2:12 Sapne įspėti nebegrįžti pas Erodą, kitu keliu pasuko į savo kraštą.
Mat 2:12 And being warned of God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way.
Įst 23:20 Gali reikalauti palūkanų už paskolas iš svetimtaučio, bet už paskolas savo tautiečiui neturi reikalauti palūkanų, idant Viešpats, tavo Dievas, laimintų visus tavo siekius krašte, kurio paveldėti ateini.
De 23:20 Unto a stranger thou mayest lend upon usury; but unto thy brother thou shalt not lend upon usury: that the LORD thy God may bless thee in all that thou settest thine hand to in the land whither thou goest to possess it.
Jer 1:2 Viešpaties žodis pasiekė jį Amono sūnaus Judo karaliaus Jošijo dienomis, tryliktais jo valdymo metais.
Jer 1:2 To whom the word of the LORD came in the days of Josiah the son of Amon king of Judah, in the thirteenth year of his reign.

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