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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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2Kar 18:32 kol aš ateisiu ir perkelsiu jus į kraštą, panašų į jūsiškį ­ grūdų ir vyno kraštą, duonos ir vynuogynų kraštą, alyvmedžių aliejaus ir medaus kraštą, ­ kad išliktumėte gyvi ir nemirtumėte. Neklausykite Ezekijo, kai jis suvedžioja jus, sakydamas: "Viešpats išgelbės mus! "
2Ki 18:32 Until I come and take you away to a land like your own land, a land of corn and wine, a land of bread and vineyards, a land of oil olive and of honey, that ye may live, and not die: and hearken not unto Hezekiah, when he persuadeth you, saying, The LORD will deliver us.
Ps 31:4 Apsaugok mane nuo paslėptų pinklių, nes tu mano užuovėja.
Ps 31:4 Pull me out of the net that they have laid privily for me: for thou art my strength.
Ez 27:32 Aimanuodami užtraukia raudą tauir aprauda tave: ‘Kas buvo kada nors kaip Tyrassunaikintas jūros gelmėse? ’
Eze 27:32 And in their wailing they shall take up a lamentation for thee, and lament over thee, saying, What city is like Tyrus, like the destroyed in the midst of the sea?
1Kor 16:8 Efeze aš prabūsiu iki Sekminių.
1C 16:8 But I will tarry at Ephesus until Pentecost.
Mt 14:17 Jie atsiliepė: "Mes čia teturime penkis kepaliukus duonos ir dvi žuvis. "
Mat 14:17 And they say unto him, We have here but five loaves, and two fishes.
2Kar 25:24 O Gedalijas prisiekė jiems ir jų vyrams. "Nebijokite chaldėjų pareigūnų, ­ sakė jiems, ­ pasilikite krašte, tarnaukite Babilono karaliui, ir bus jums gerai. "
2Ki 25:24 And Gedaliah sware to them, and to their men, and said unto them, Fear not to be the servants of the Chaldees: dwell in the land, and serve the king of Babylon; and it shall be well with you.
Mal 1:3 o Ezavo nekenčiau . Paverčiau jo kalnus ty´rais, atidaviau jo paveldą dykumos šakalams. "
Mal 1:3 And I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness.
Ps 10:5 Nedorėliui visada gerai klojasi; tavo nuosprendžiai jam tolimi, jis šaiposi iš visų savo priešų.
Ps 10:5 His ways are always grievous; thy judgments are far above out of his sight: as for all his enemies, he puffeth at them.
Ez 19:8 Susibūrė prieš jį tautosiš visų šalių aplinkui, užmetė ant jo tinklą, ­ir jis buvo pagautas jų duobėje.
Eze 19:8 Then the nations set against him on every side from the provinces, and spread their net over him: he was taken in their pit.
Joz 10:10 Viešpats apstulbino juos išgąsčiu Izraelio akivaizdoje. Izraelitai sutriuškino juos prie Gibeono ir vijosi Bet Horono šlaito keliu, niokodami iki pat Azekos ir Makedos.
Jos 10:10 And the LORD discomfited them before Israel, and slew them with a great slaughter at Gibeon, and chased them along the way that goeth up to Bethhoron, and smote them to Azekah, and unto Makkedah.
Jn 12:15 Nebijok, Siono kalno dukterie: štai atvyksta tavo karalius, jis joja ant asilaičio!
Jo 12:15 Fear not, daughter of Sion: behold, thy King cometh, sitting on an ass's colt.
Rom 16:5 Pasveikinkite ir bendruomenę, susirenkančią jų namuose. Sveikinkite mano mylimąjį Epenetą, pirmąjį Azijoje įtikėjusį Kristų.
Ro 16:5 Likewise greet the church that is in their house. Salute my well-beloved Epaenetus, who is the firstfruits of Achaia unto Christ.
2Kar 7:12 Nors buvo naktis, karalius atsikėlė. Savo dvariškiams jis kalbėjo: "Pasakysiu jums, ką aramėjai yra paruošę prieš mus. Žinodami, kad kenčiame badą, jie išėjo iš stovyklos ir pasislėpė laukuose, manydami: ‘Kai jie išeis iš miesto, gyvus juos paimsime ir į jų miestą įžengsime. ’"
2Ki 7:12 And the king arose in the night, and said unto his servants, I will now shew you what the Syrians have done to us. They know that we be hungry; therefore are they gone out of the camp to hide themselves in the field, saying, When they come out of the city, we shall catch them alive, and get into the city.
Job 20:21 Kadangi niekas neišvengė jo gobšumo, jo laimė neišsilaikys.
Job 20:21 There shall none of his meat be left; therefore shall no man look for his goods.
2Kar 10:32 Tomis dienomis Viešpats pradėjo genėti Izraelį. Visoje Izraelio žemėje Hazaelis nedavė ramybės izraelitams:
2Ki 10:32 In those days the LORD began to cut Israel short: and Hazael smote them in all the coasts of Israel;
2Krn 20:1 Po to moabitai, amonitai ir drauge su jais būrys meunų atėjo kariauti su Juozapatu.
2Ch 20:1 It came to pass after this also, that the children of Moab, and the children of Ammon, and with them other beside the Ammonites, came against Jehoshaphat to battle.
1Kar 8:24 Tu palaikei Sandorą, sudarytą su mano tėvu Dovydu, ir šiandien įvykdei ranka, ką buvai pažadėjęs lūpomis.
1Ki 8:24 Who hast kept with thy servant David my father that thou promisedst him: thou spakest also with thy mouth, and hast fulfilled it with thine hand, as it is this day.
2Krn 4:9 Jis pastatė kunigų kiemą, didįjį kiemą ir padarė duris didžiajam kiemui; duris aptraukė variu.
2Ch 4:9 Furthermore he made the court of the priests, and the great court, and doors for the court, and overlaid the doors of them with brass.
Apr 9:20 Bet kiti žmonės, kurie nebuvo šitų piktenybių išžudyti, vis tiek nepametė savo rankų darbų, kad jau nebegarbintų demonų ir aukso, sidabro, žalvario, akmens ir medžio stabų, kurie negali nei matyti, nei girdėti, nei vaikščioti.
Re 9:20 And the rest of the men which were not killed by these plagues yet repented not of the works of their hands, that they should not worship devils, and idols of gold, and silver, and brass, and stone, and of wood: which neither can see, nor hear, nor walk:
2Krn 7:5 Karalius atnašavo aukoms dvidešimt du tūkstančius jaučių ir šimtą dvidešimt tūkstančių avių. Taip karalius ir visi žmonės pašventino Dievo Namus.
2Ch 7:5 And king Solomon offered a sacrifice of twenty and two thousand oxen, and an hundred and twenty thousand sheep: so the king and all the people dedicated the house of God.

Sanctus Corpus Deus