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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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2Sam 7:5 "Eik ir sakyk mano tarnui Dovydui:
2Sa 7:5 Go and tell my servant David, Thus saith the LORD, Shalt thou build me an house for me to dwell in?
Job 33:6 Dievo akyse aš tau lygus; aš irgi paimtas iš molio.
Job 33:6 Behold, I am according to thy wish in God's stead: I also am formed out of the clay.
Ps 140:11 Tenebūna le´ista šmeižėjui klestėti krašte, ūmi nelaimė teužklumpa smurtininką!
Ps 140:11 Let not an evil speaker be established in the earth: evil shall hunt the violent man to overthrow him.
Pr 18:26 Viešpats atsakė: "Jei rasiu Sodomos mieste penkiasdešimt teisiųjų, dėl jų pasigailėsiu visos šios vietos".
Ge 18:26 And the LORD said, If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for their sakes.
Iš 23:14 Tris kartus per metus švęsi man iškilmę.
Ex 23:14 Three times thou shalt keep a feast unto me in the year.
2Jn 1:3 Su mumis bus malonė, gailestingumas, ramybė nuo Dievo Tėvo ir nuo Tėvo Sūnaus Jėzaus Kristaus tiesoje ir meilėje.
2J 1:3 Grace be with you, mercy, and peace, from God the Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love.
Įst 5:15 Atsimink, kad tu esi buvęs vergas Egipto žemėje, kad išvedė tave iš ten Viešpats, tavo Dievas, galingai pakelta ranka. Todėl Viešpats, tavo Dievas, ir įsakė tau švęsti šabo dieną.
De 5:15 And remember that thou wast a servant in the land of Egypt, and that the LORD thy God brought thee out thence through a mighty hand and by a stretched out arm: therefore the LORD thy God commanded thee to keep the sabbath day.
Jn 2:7 Jėzus jiems liepė: "Pripilkite indus vandens. " Jie pripylė sklidinus.
Jo 2:7 Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.
Įst 6:11 su namais, pilnais visokiausių gėrybių, kurių tu nekrovei, su iškirstomis vandens talpyklomis, kurių tu nekirtai, su vynuogynais bei alyvmedžių miškeliais, kurių tu nesodinai; kai būsi sočiai pavalgęs,
De 6:11 And houses full of all good things, which thou filledst not, and wells digged, which thou diggedst not, vineyards and olive trees, which thou plantedst not; when thou shalt have eaten and be full;
Dan 6:28 Taigi Danieliui sekėsi valdant Darijui, kaip ir persui Kyrui.
Da 6:28 So this Daniel prospered in the reign of Darius, and in the reign of Cyrus the Persian.
Ezd 2:32 Harimo palikuonių trys šimtai dvidešimt,
Ezr 2:32 The children of Harim, three hundred and twenty.
1Krn 12:16 Pas Dovydą į tvirtovę atėjo ir iš Benjamino bei Judo giminių.
1Ch 12:16 And there came of the children of Benjamin and Judah to the hold unto David.
Jon 1:3 Bet Jona leidosi bėgti nuo Viešpaties Artumo į Taršišą. Jis nusileido į Jafą, susirado į Taršišą plaukiantį laivą, užsimokėjo už kelionę ir įsėdo, norėdamas keliauti drauge su jais į Taršišą, toli nuo Viešpaties Artumo.
Jon 1:3 But Jonah rose up to flee unto Tarshish from the presence of the LORD, and went down to Joppa; and he found a ship going to Tarshish: so he paid the fare thereof, and went down into it, to go with them unto Tarshish from the presence of the LORD.
Kun 21:4 Bet jis nesiterš artimaisiais, su kuriais susigiminiavo per vedybas; jais jis nesiterš.
Le 21:4 But he shall not defile himself, being a chief man among his people, to profane himself.
Pr 31:33 Labanas įėjo į Jokūbo palapinę, į Lėjos palapinę ir dviejų tarnaičių palapines, bet nerado jų. Jis išėjo iš Lėjos palapinės ir įėjo į Rachelės palapinę.
Ge 31:33 And Laban went into Jacob's tent, and into Leah's tent, and into the two maidservants' tents; but he found them not. Then went he out of Leah's tent, and entered into Rachel's tent.
Mk 14:50 Tada, palikę jį, visi [mokiniai] pabėgo.
Mar 14:50 And they all forsook him, and fled.
Lk 12:53 Tėvas stos prieš sūnų, o sūnus prieš tėvą, motina prieš dukterį, o duktė prieš motiną; anyta prieš marčią, ir marti prieš anytą. "
Lu 12:53 The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Sk 26:49 iš Jecero ­ jecerų kiltis, iš Šilemo ­ šilemų kiltis.
Nu 26:49 Of Jezer, the family of the Jezerites: of Shillem, the family of the Shillemites.
1Kor 16:23 Viešpaties Jėzaus malonė tebūnie su jumis!
1C 16:23 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.
Ps 78:2 Atve´rsiu burną prasmingais pavyzdžiais, ir atskleisiu senųjų amžių paslaptis,
Ps 78:2 I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old:

Sanctus Corpus Deus