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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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1Tes 5:14 Raginame jus, broliai: įspėkite nedrausminguosius, suraminkite mažadvasius, palaikykite silpnuosius, būkite kantrūs visiems!
1Th 5:14 Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.
2Sam 20:12 Amasa gulėjo kelio viduryje, permirkęs savo kraujyje, ir tas žmogus pastebėjo, kad kiekvienas sustodavo. Pamatęs, kad visi praeinantieji stoviniuoja, jis nuvilko Amasą nuo kelio į lauką ir apdengė jį drabužiu.
2Sa 20:12 And Amasa wallowed in blood in the midst of the highway. And when the man saw that all the people stood still, he removed Amasa out of the highway into the field, and cast a cloth upon him, when he saw that every one that came by him stood still.
1Tim 1:9 suprasdamas, kad įstatymas skirtas ne teisiajam, bet nusikaltėliams ir maištininkams, bedieviams ir nusidėjėliams, nedorėliams ir netikėliams, tėvažudžiams ir motinžudžiams, ir žmogžudžiams,
1Ti 1:9 Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers,
2Kor 10:13 Nesame linkę girtis be krašto, o tik iki tų ribų, kurias mums Dievas užbrėžė ir kurios siekia ligi pat jūsų.
2C 10:13 But we will not boast of things without our measure, but according to the measure of the rule which God hath distributed to us, a measure to reach even unto you.
Jn 6:18 Ežeras bangavo, nes pūtė smarkus vėjas.
Jo 6:18 And the sea arose by reason of a great wind that blew.
2Kar 7:8 Atėję į stovyklos pakraštį, anie raupsuotieji įėjo į vieną palapinę, valgė ir gėrė. Paskui išnešę iš jos sidabrą, auksą ir drabužius paslėpė. Vėl sugrįžę, įėjo į kitą palapinę, išnešė iš jos daiktus ir paslėpė.
2Ki 7:8 And when these lepers came to the uttermost part of the camp, they went into one tent, and did eat and drink, and carried thence silver, and gold, and raiment, and went and hid it; and came again, and entered into another tent, and carried thence also, and went and hid it.
Ps 5:2 Klausykis mano maldos šauksmo, mano Karaliau ir mano Dieve, maldauju tave!
Ps 5:2 Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray.
1Sam 23:26 Saulius skynėsi sau kelią vienu kalno šlaitu, o Dovydas ir jo vyrai buvo kitoje kalno pusėje. Dovydui skubant pabėgti nuo Sauliaus, o Sauliui ir jo vyrams stengiantis apsupti Dovydą bei jo vyrus ir juos sugauti,
1Sa 23:26 And Saul went on this side of the mountain, and David and his men on that side of the mountain: and David made haste to get away for fear of Saul; for Saul and his men compassed David and his men round about to take them.
Ps 82:8 Pakilk, Dieve! Teisk žemę, nes tau priklauso visos tautos!
Ps 82:8 Arise, O God, judge the earth: for thou shalt inherit all nations.
Ef 5:30 kadangi esame jo Kūno nariai.
Ep 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Jer 48:4 ‘Moabas sunaikintas! ’ ­klykia jo mažieji.
Jer 48:4 Moab is destroyed; her little ones have caused a cry to be heard.
Iz 46:4 Liksiu vis tas pats, kai jūs pasensite; kai jūs pražilsite, nešiosiu ir tada. Aš ­ tas, kuris nešiojau, aš ­ tas, kuris nešios, aš ­ tas, kuris jus neš ir išgelbės.
Isa 46:4 And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you.
Zch 14:17 Jei kuri nors iš šeimų žemėje neatkeliautų pagarbinti Karaliaus, Galybių Viešpaties, ji negaus lietaus.
Zec 14:17 And it shall be, that whoso will not come up of all the families of the earth unto Jerusalem to worship the King, the LORD of hosts, even upon them shall be no rain.
2Kar 6:1 Kartą pranašų mokiniai Eliziejui tarė: "Žiūrėk, vieta, kurioje gyvename tavo akivaizdoje, mums per ankšta.
2Ki 6:1 And the sons of the prophets said unto Elisha, Behold now, the place where we dwell with thee is too strait for us.
Job 2:9 Žmona tarė jam: "Ar dar laikaisi savo dorumo? Keik Dievą ir mirk! "
Job 2:9 Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die.
1Tes 5:3 Kai žmonės kalbės: "Gyvename ramiai ir saugiai", juos ir ištiks netikėtas žlugimas, tartum gimdymo skausmai nėščią moterį, ir jie niekur nepabėgs.
1Th 5:3 For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape.
Sk 11:11 "Kodėl taip blogai elgiesi su savo tarnu? ­ klausė Mozė Viešpatį. ­ Kodėl neradau malonės tavo akyse, kad užkrovei ant manęs visų šių žmonių naštą?
Nu 11:11 And Moses said unto the LORD, Wherefore hast thou afflicted thy servant? and wherefore have I not found favour in thy sight, that thou layest the burden of all this people upon me?
Kun 9:10 Bet taukus, inkstus ir atnašos už nuodėmę kepenų lezgį jis pavertė dūmais ant aukuro, kaip Viešpats buvo Mozei įsakęs,
Le 9:10 But the fat, and the kidneys, and the caul above the liver of the sin offering, he burnt upon the altar; as the LORD commanded Moses.
Jud 1:17 O jūs, mylimieji, prisiminkite žodžius, kurie iš anksto buvo paskelbti mūsų Viešpaties Jėzaus Kristaus apaštalų.
Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
2Sam 22:34 Jis davė man kojas kaip stirnosir nuvedė mane į saugias aukštumas.
2Sa 22:34 He maketh my feet like hinds' feet: and setteth me upon my high places.

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