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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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1Pt 1:15 Šventas yra tasai, kuris jus pašaukė, tad ir jūs patys tapkite šventi visu savo elgesiu,
1P 1:15 But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;
Ps 132:15 Gausiai laiminsiu jo maisto atsargas, vargšus pasotinsiu duona.
Ps 132:15 I will abundantly bless her provision: I will satisfy her poor with bread.
2Krn 18:3 Izraelio karalius Ahabas tarė Judo karaliui Juozapatui: "Ar žygiuosi su manimi į Ramot Gileadą? " Šis atsakė jam: "Aš su tavimi. Mano žmonės ­ tavo žmonės. Mes būsime su tavimi mūšyje. "
2Ch 18:3 And Ahab king of Israel said unto Jehoshaphat king of Judah, Wilt thou go with me to Ramothgilead? And he answered him, I am as thou art, and my people as thy people; and we will be with thee in the war.
Ez 23:33 Tu būsi sklidinagirtumo ir skausmo. Siaubo ir niokojimo taurė, tavo sesers Samarijos taurė.
Eze 23:33 Thou shalt be filled with drunkenness and sorrow, with the cup of astonishment and desolation, with the cup of thy sister Samaria.
Įst 19:18 Teisėjai tada reikalą nuodugniai ištirs. Jei liudytojas yra neteisingas, melagingai liudijęs prieš savo artimą,
De 19:18 And the judges shall make diligent inquisition: and, behold, if the witness be a false witness, and hath testified falsely against his brother;
Dan 7:10 Ugnies upė liejosiir tekėjo priešais jį. Tūkstančių tūkstančiai jam tarnavoir miriadų miriadai stovėjo priešais jį. Teismas sėdo posėdžiauti, ir buvo atskleistos knygos.
Da 7:10 A fiery stream issued and came forth from before him: thousand thousands ministered unto him, and ten thousand times ten thousand stood before him: the judgment was set, and the books were opened.
Pr 6:5 Viešpats matė, koks didelis buvo žmonių nedorumas žemėje ir kaip kiekvienas užmojis, sumanytas jų širdyse, linko visą laiką tik į pikta.
Ge 6:5 And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
Lk 10:20 Bet jūs džiaukitės ne tuo, kad dvasios jums pavaldžios; džiaukitės, kad jūsų vardai įrašyti danguje. "
Lu 10:20 Notwithstanding in this rejoice not, that the spirits are subject unto you; but rather rejoice, because your names are written in heaven.
Dan 6:7 Visi karalystės ministrai, seniūnai ir satrapai, patarėjai ir valdytojai sutarė, jog turėtų būti paskelbtas ir griežtai vykdomas toks karaliaus įsakas: jeigu kas per artimiausias trisdešimt dienų melstųsi kokiam nors dievui ar žmogui, išskyrus tave, karaliau, tai būtų įmestas į liūtų duobę.
Da 6:7 All the presidents of the kingdom, the governors, and the princes, the counsellors, and the captains, have consulted together to establish a royal statute, and to make a firm decree, that whosoever shall ask a petition of any God or man for thirty days, save of thee, O king, he shall be cast into the den of lions.
1Kor 1:18 Mat žodis apie kryžių tiems, kurie eina į pražūtį, yra kvailystė, o mums, einantiems į išganymą, jis yra Dievo galybė.
1C 1:18 For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God.
Iš 7:12 Kiekvienas jų metė žemėn lazdą, ir jos pavirto šliužais, bet Aarono lazda prarijo jų lazdas.
Ex 7:12 For they cast down every man his rod, and they became serpents: but Aaron's rod swallowed up their rods.
Ez 5:17 Siųsiu jums badą ir laukinius žvėris, ir jie sunaikins tavo vaikus, o maras ir kraujo praliejimas persmelks tave. Kalaviją atvesiu prieš tave, ­ aš, Viešpats, pasakiau! "
Eze 5:17 So will I send upon you famine and evil beasts, and they shall bereave thee: and pestilence and blood shall pass through thee; and I will bring the sword upon thee. I the LORD have spoken it.
Kun 17:15 Kiekvienas žmogus, izraelitas ar ateivis, kuris valgytų, kas nugaišo ar buvo žvėries sudraskyta, turės išsiskalbti drabužius, apsiplauti vandeniu ir bus nešvarus ligi vakaro. Tada jis taps švarus.
Le 17:15 And every soul that eateth that which died of itself, or that which was torn with beasts, whether it be one of your own country, or a stranger, he shall both wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even: then shall he be clean.
Jer 25:9 štai aš pasikviesiu visas šiaurės gentis, ­ tai Viešpaties žodis, ­ pasikviesiu Babilono karalių Nebukadnecarą, savo tarną. Aš atvesiu jas prieš šį kraštą, prieš jo gyventojus ir prieš visas kaimynines tautas. Sunaikindamas jas, paversiu jas klaiko ir pajuokos reginiu, užtrauksiu joms amžiną gėdą.
Jer 25:9 Behold, I will send and take all the families of the north, saith the LORD, and Nebuchadrezzar the king of Babylon, my servant, and will bring them against this land, and against the inhabitants thereof, and against all these nations round about, and will utterly destroy them, and make them an astonishment, and an hissing, and perpetual desolations.
Job 17:16 Ar nužengs ji į Šeolą? Ar nužengsime drauge į dulkes? "
Job 17:16 They shall go down to the bars of the pit, when our rest together is in the dust.
1Sam 25:28 Prašau atleisti tavo tarnaitės nusižengimą, nes Viešpats tikrai suteiks mano viešpačiui išliekančius namus dėl to, kad mano viešpats kovoja Viešpaties kovas, ir jokio pikto neturi būti rasta tavyje per visą tavo gyvenimą.
1Sa 25:28 I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the LORD, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days.
Mt 1:12 Po ištrėmimo į Babiloną Jechonijui gimė Salatielis , Salatieliui gimė Zorobabelis .
Mat 1:12 And after they were brought to Babylon, Jechonias begat Salathiel; and Salathiel begat Zorobabel;
Mt 12:23 Ištisos minios netvėrė iš nuostabos ir klausinėjo: "Ar nebus šitas Dovydo Sūnus? ! "
Mat 12:23 And all the people were amazed, and said, Is not this the son of David?
Ps 104:34 Tepatinka jam mano malda, nes aš džiūgauju Viešpatyje.
Ps 104:34 My meditation of him shall be sweet: I will be glad in the LORD.
Įst 14:21 Kas nugaišęs, to nevalgysite. Gaišeną valgyti gali duoti ateiviui, gyvenančiam tavo mieste, ar parduoti svetimšaliui, nes tu esi tauta, pašvęsta Viešpačiui, savo Dievui. Nevirsi ožiuko jo motinos piene.
De 14:21 Ye shall not eat of anything that dieth of itself: thou shalt give it unto the stranger that is in thy gates, that he may eat it; or thou mayest sell it unto an alien: for thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God. Thou shalt not seethe a kid in his mother's milk.

Sanctus Corpus Deus