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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Jer 18:9 O kartais pažadu kuriai nors tautai ar karalystei, kad ją stiprinsiu ir duosiu žemės,
Jer 18:9 And at what instant I shall speak concerning a nation, and concerning a kingdom, to build and to plant it;
Joz 8:32 Ten, izraelitų akivaizdoje, Jozuė užrašė ant akmenų nuorašą Įstatymo, kurį Mozė buvo surašęs izraelitams.
Jos 8:32 And he wrote there upon the stones a copy of the law of Moses, which he wrote in the presence of the children of Israel.
Jer 20:11 Bet Viešpats su manimi tarsi galingas gynėjas, todėl mano persekiotojai suklups ir nenugalės. Baisi gėda juos lydės, nes jiems negali pasisekti! Vien amžiną, neužmirštamą negarbę jie užsitraukė.
Jer 20:11 But the LORD is with me as a mighty terrible one: therefore my persecutors shall stumble, and they shall not prevail: they shall be greatly ashamed; for they shall not prosper: their everlasting confusion shall never be forgotten.
2Kor 2:9 Tam jums ir parašiau, kad patirčiau, ar jūs visais atžvilgiais esate klusnūs.
2C 2:9 For to this end also did I write, that I might know the proof of you, whether ye be obedient in all things.
Pat 22:14 Palaidūnės burna ­ gili duobė; tas, ant kurio Viešpats supyksta, į ją įpuola.
Pr 22:14 The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of the LORD shall fall therein.
Kun 21:8 Elgsiesi su jais kaip su šventais, nes jie atnašauja maistą tavo Dievo; jie bus ir tau šventi, nes aš, juos pašventęs Viešpats, esu šventas.
Le 21:8 Thou shalt sanctify him therefore; for he offereth the bread of thy God: he shall be holy unto thee: for I the LORD, which sanctify you, am holy.
1Krn 14:5 Ibharas, Elišūva ir Elpaletas,
1Ch 14:5 And Ibhar, and Elishua, and Elpalet,
Job 39:9 Argi laukinis jautis sutiktų tau tarnauti, ar praleistų jis naktį prie tavo ėdžių?
Job 39:9 Will the unicorn be willing to serve thee, or abide by thy crib?
Apd 4:31 Jiems pasimeldus, sudrebėjo susirinkimo vieta, visi prisipildė Šventosios Dvasios ir ėmė drąsiai skelbti Dievo žodį.
Ac 4:31 And when they had prayed, the place was shaken where they were assembled together; and they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and they spake the word of God with boldness.
2Sam 7:15 Bet savo ištikimos meilės neatimsiu, kaip atėmiau iš Sauliaus, kurį pašalinau, kad padaryčiau tau vietos.
2Sa 7:15 But my mercy shall not depart away from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I put away before thee.
Mk 2:15 Kai Jėzus Levio namuose buvo pasodintas prie stalo, daug muitininkų bei nusidėjėlių sėdosi su juo ir jo mokiniais, nes daug buvo tokių, kurie sekė paskui jį.
Mar 2:15 And it came to pass, that, as Jesus sat at meat in his house, many publicans and sinners sat also together with Jesus and his disciples: for there were many, and they followed him.
Jer 13:25 Toks bus tavo likimas, mano tau atseikėta dalia, ­ tai Viešpaties žodis, ­dėl to, kad mane pamiršaiir pasitikėjai melu.
Jer 13:25 This is thy lot, the portion of thy measures from me, saith the LORD; because thou hast forgotten me, and trusted in falsehood.
2Kor 13:1 Jau trečią kartą keliauju pas jus. Dviejų ar trijų liudytojų parodymais remsis visa byla.
2C 13:1 This is the third time I am coming to you. In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established.
Sk 10:9 Kai žygiuosite į karą savo krašte su jus engiančiu priešu, trimitais skelbsite pavojų, kad būtumėte prisiminti Viešpaties, jūsų Dievo, ir išgelbėti nuo priešų.
Nu 10:9 And if ye go to war in your land against the enemy that oppresseth you, then ye shall blow an alarm with the trumpets; and ye shall be remembered before the LORD your God, and ye shall be saved from your enemies.
Pat 2:6 Juk Viešpats duoda išminties, iš jo lūpų ateina pažinimas ir supratimas.
Pr 2:6 For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.
Apd 14:10 garsiai pasakė: "Atsistok tiesiai ant savo kojų! " Tasai pašoko ir ėmė vaikščioti.
Ac 14:10 Said with a loud voice, Stand upright on thy feet. And he leaped and walked.
Rut 3:12 Bet nors aš iš tikrųjų esu atpirkėjas, dar yra ir kitas atpirkėjas, artimesnis giminaitis negu aš.
Ru 3:12 And now it is true that I am thy near kinsman: howbeit there is a kinsman nearer than I.
Iš 16:10 Kai Aaronas kalbėjo visai izraelitų bendrijai, jie dairėsi į dykumą ir pamatė: debesyje pasirodė Viešpaties šlovė!
Ex 16:10 And it came to pass, as Aaron spake unto the whole congregation of the children of Israel, that they looked toward the wilderness, and, behold, the glory of the LORD appeared in the cloud.
Sk 30:6 Jei ji ištekėtų, galiojant jos įžadams ar bet kokiam neapgalvotam žodžiui, kuriuo ji įsipareigojo,
Nu 30:6 And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul;
Jn 14:6 Jėzus jam sako: "Aš esu kelias, tiesa ir gyvenimas. Niekas nenueina pas Tėvąkitaip, kaip tik per mane.
Jo 14:6 Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Sanctus Corpus Deus