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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Pat 1:32 Juk užgaidos pražudo neišmanėlius, ir pasitenkinimas savimi sunaikina kvailius.
Pr 1:32 For the turning away of the simple shall slay them, and the prosperity of fools shall destroy them.
Pat 23:21 Juk girtuoklis ir rijūnas taps skurdžiais, o dykaduoniavimas aprengia žmogų skarmalais.
Pr 23:21 For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.
Pr 31:30 Na, tiek to, suprantu, tu turėjai iškeliauti, nes buvai labai pasiilgęs tėvo namų, bet kodėl pavogei mano dievus? "
Ge 31:30 And now, though thou wouldest needs be gone, because thou sore longedst after thy father's house, yet wherefore hast thou stolen my gods?
1Sam 15:26 Samuelis atsakė Sauliui: "Negrįšiu su tavimi, nes tu atmetei Viešpaties žodį, o Viešpats atmetė tave nuo karaliavimo Izraelyje. "
1Sa 15:26 And Samuel said unto Saul, I will not return with thee: for thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD hath rejected thee from being king over Israel.
1Krn 6:64 Taip izraelitai davė levitams ir miestų, ir ganyklų.
1Ch 6:64 And the children of Israel gave to the Levites these cities with their suburbs.
Iš 15:26 "Jeigu iš tikrųjų klausysite Viešpaties, savo Dievo, balso, ­ sakė jis, ­ ir darysite, kas dora jo akyse, paisydami jo įsakymų ir laikydamiesi visų jo nuostatų, nevarginsiu jūsų jokia liga, kuriomis varginau egiptiečius, nes esu jus gydantis Viešpats. "
Ex 15:26 And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee.
Pr 34:3 Jis lipte prilipo prie Jokūbo dukters Dinos, įsimylėjo mergaitę ir stengėsi laimėti jos širdį.
Ge 34:3 And his soul clave unto Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the damsel, and spake kindly unto the damsel.
Jn 20:16 Jėzus jai sako: "Marija!" Ji atsigręžė ir sušuko hebrajiškai: "Rabuni!" (Tai reiškia "Mokytojau". )
Jo 20:16 Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master.
Jn 16:27 juk patsai Tėvas jus myli, nes jūs mane pamilote ir įtikėjote, jog aš esu iš Dievo atėjęs.
Jo 16:27 For the Father himself loveth you, because ye have loved me, and have believed that I came out from God.
Ps 19:13 Apsaugok mane ir nuo tyčinių nuodėmių, neleisk joms manyje viešpatauti! Tada aš būsiu tobulasir laisvas nuo sunkaus nusižengimo.
Ps 19:13 Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression.
Įst 28:64 Viešpats išblaškys tave tautose nuo vieno žemės galo ligi kito; tenai tarnausi svetimiems dievams iš akmens ir medžio, kurių nei tu, nei tavo protėviai nepažinojote.
De 28:64 And the LORD shall scatter thee among all people, from the one end of the earth even unto the other; and there thou shalt serve other gods, which neither thou nor thy fathers have known, even wood and stone.
Job 41:14 Kas gali priversti jį pražioti nasrus? Siaubą kelia pliki jo dantys!
Job 41:14 Who can open the doors of his face? his teeth are terrible round about.
Ps 94:14 Juk Viešpats neapleis savo tautos, nepaliks savo paveldo.
Ps 94:14 For the LORD will not cast off his people, neither will he forsake his inheritance.
1Kar 7:25 Ji stovėjo ant dvylikos jaučių: trys buvo atgręžti į šiaurę, trys ­ į vakarus, trys ­ į pietus ir trys ­ į rytus. Jūra buvo pastatyta ant jų. Jaučių užpakaliai buvo nugręžti į vidaus pusę.
1Ki 7:25 It stood upon twelve oxen, three looking toward the north, and three looking toward the west, and three looking toward the south, and three looking toward the east: and the sea was set above upon them, and all their hinder parts were inward.
Ps 150:5 Šlovinkite jį skambiais cimbolais, šlovinkite jį žvangančiais cimbolais!
Ps 150:5 Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.
Mk 3:3 Tuomet Jėzus tarė žmogui su padžiūvusia ranka: "Stok į vidurį! "
Mar 3:3 And he saith unto the man which had the withered hand, Stand forth.
Iz 14:28 Tais metais, kai mirė karalius Ahazas, buvo paskelbta ši ištarmė:
Isa 14:28 In the year that king Ahaz died was this burden.
Ez 36:27 Duosiu jums savo dvasią ir padarysiu, kad gyventumėte pagal mano įstatus, laikytumėtės mano įsakų ir juos vykdytumėte.
Eze 36:27 And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.
Gg 7:7 Esi daili kaip palmė, o tavo krūtys kaip kekės.
SS 7:7 This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes.
Koh 8:2 Kaip esi prisiekęs Dievui, taip ir vykdyk, ką karalius įsako.
Ec 8:2 I counsel thee to keep the king's commandment, and that in regard of the oath of God.

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