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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Rom 7:24 Vargšas aš žmogus! Kas mane išvaduos iš šito mirtingo kūno!
Ro 7:24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
Ezd 6:8 Be to, šiuo įsakau, ką jūs turite daryti, kad padėtumėte tiems žydų seniūnams atstatyti Dievo Namus: tų žmonių išlaidos turi būti tučtuojau atlygintos iš karaliaus išteklių, paimtų iš Užupio srities duoklės.
Ezr 6:8 Moreover I make a decree what ye shall do to the elders of these Jews for the building of this house of God: that of the king's goods, even of the tribute beyond the river, forthwith expenses be given unto these men, that they be not hindered.
Ps 105:25 kurių širdis jis taip pakeitė, kad jie ėmė nekęsti jo tautosir elgtis klastingai su jo tarnais.
Ps 105:25 He turned their heart to hate his people, to deal subtilly with his servants.
2Kar 25:9 Jis sudegino Viešpaties Namus, karaliaus rūmus ir visus Jeruzalės namus, sunaikino kiekvieno didžiūno namus.
2Ki 25:9 And he burnt the house of the LORD, and the king's house, and all the houses of Jerusalem, and every great man's house burnt he with fire.
Jer 14:6 O laukiniai asilai stovi ant plikų kalvų, dvėsuodami kaip šakalai; jų akys apsiblaususios, nes trūksta pašaro. "
Jer 14:6 And the wild asses did stand in the high places, they snuffed up the wind like dragons; their eyes did fail, because there was no grass.
Apr 13:7 Jam buvo leista kovoti su šventaisiais ir juos nugalėti. Jam buvo suteikta valdžia visoms gentims, tautoms, kalboms ir giminėms.
Re 13:7 And it was given unto him to make war with the saints, and to overcome them: and power was given him over all kindreds, and tongues, and nations.
Kun 4:11 O jaučio odą ir visą mėsą drauge su galva, kojomis, viduriais ir išmatomis ­
Le 4:11 And the skin of the bullock, and all his flesh, with his head, and with his legs, and his inwards, and his dung,
Ez 36:25 Nuplausiu jus tyru vandeniu, bus nuvalyti visi jūsų nešvarumai, visi jūsų stabai bus pašalinti.
Eze 36:25 Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you.
Mt 27:40 ir sakydami: "Še tau, kuris sugriauni šventovę ir per tris dienas atstatai; gelbėkis pats! Jei esi Dievo Sūnus, nuženk nuo kryžiaus! "
Mat 27:40 And saying, Thou that destroyest the temple, and buildest it in three days, save thyself. If thou be the Son of God, come down from the cross.
Ps 51:12 Leisk man vėl džiaugtis tavo išganymu, tepalaiko mane nori dvasia.
Ps 51:12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
1Sam 19:6 Saulius paklausė Jehonatano balso ir prisiekė: "Kaip gyvas Viešpats, jis nebus užmuštas! "
1Sa 19:6 And Saul hearkened unto the voice of Jonathan: and Saul sware, As the LORD liveth, he shall not be slain.
1Kor 11:15 Tuo tarpu moteriai garbė turėti ilgus plaukus. Mat plaukai jai duoti vietoj dangalo.
1C 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.
Lk 10:1 Paskui Viešpats paskyrė dar kitus septyniasdešimt du mokinius ir išsiuntė juos po du, kad eitų pirma jo į visus miestus bei vietoves, kur jis pats ketino vykti.
Lu 10:1 After these things the LORD appointed other seventy also, and sent them two and two before his face into every city and place, whither he himself would come.
Ps 50:2 Iš Siono, grožio viršūnės, Dievas švyti.
Ps 50:2 Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God hath shined.
Įst 9:6 Tad žinok, kad Viešpats, tavo Dievas, duoda tau šį kraštą paveldėti ne dėl tavo teisumo, nes esi kietasprandė tauta.
De 9:6 Understand therefore, that the LORD thy God giveth thee not this good land to possess it for thy righteousness; for thou art a stiffnecked people.
2Kor 3:1 Ar pradėsime jums iš naujo prisistatinėti? Gal reikia, kaip kai kuriems, lydimųjų laiškų jums ar nuo jūsų?
2C 3:1 Do we begin again to commend ourselves? or need we, as some others, epistles of commendation to you, or letters of commendation from you?
Mt 3:13 Tuomet Jėzus iš Galilėjos atėjo prie Jordano pas Joną krikštytis.
Mat 3:13 Then cometh Jesus from Galilee to Jordan unto John, to be baptized of him.
Rom 12:3 Dėl man suteiktos malonės aš raginu kiekvieną iš jūsų nemanyti apie save geriau negu dera manyti, bet manyti apie save blaiviai, kiekvienam pagal Dievo duotąjį tikėjimo mastą.
Ro 12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
Jn 9:38 Žmogus sušuko: "Tikiu, Viešpatie! " ­ ir parpuolęs pagarbino jį.
Jo 9:38 And he said, Lord, I believe. And he worshipped him.
Pr 41:55 Kai ir visas Egipto kraštas pradėjo badauti, žmonės šaukėsi faraono, prašydami duonos. O faraonas visiems egiptiečiams sakė: "Eikite pas Juozapą. Ką jis jums sakys, tai ir darykite. "
Ge 41:55 And when all the land of Egypt was famished, the people cried to Pharaoh for bread: and Pharaoh said unto all the Egyptians, Go unto Joseph; what he saith to you, do.

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