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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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1Krn 22:18 "Argi Viešpats, jūsų Dievas, ne su jumis? Argi jis nesuteikė jums iš visų pusių ramybės? Juk jis atidavė man į rankas krašto gyventojus, ir kraštas tapo pavaldus Viešpaties akivaizdoje ir jo tautos akivaizdoje.
1Ch 22:18 Is not the LORD your God with you? and hath he not given you rest on every side? for he hath given the inhabitants of the land into mine hand; and the land is subdued before the LORD, and before his people.
Mt 8:17 kad išsipildytų pranašo Izaijo žodžiai: Jis prisiėmė mūsų negalias, užsikrovė mūsų ligas.
Mat 8:17 That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Esaias the prophet, saying, Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses.
Ez 45:6 Palei atskirtą šventąją sritį paskirkite penkių tūkstančių uolekčių pločio ir dvidešimt penkių tūkstančių uolekčių ilgio plotą kaip nuosavybę miestui; tai priklausys visiems Izraelio namams.
Eze 45:6 And ye shall appoint the possession of the city five thousand broad, and five and twenty thousand long, over against the oblation of the holy portion: it shall be for the whole house of Israel.
Ps 129:4 Viešpats teisus, jis sutraukė nedorėlių virves.
Ps 129:4 The LORD is righteous: he hath cut asunder the cords of the wicked.
Ez 16:55 Kai tavo seserys ­ Sodoma bei jos dukterys ­ sugrįš į savo senąją gerovę ir Samarija bei jos dukterys sugrįš į savo senąją gerovę, tu bei tavo dukterys irgi sugrįšite į savo senąją gerovę.
Eze 16:55 When thy sisters, Sodom and her daughters, shall return to their former estate, and Samaria and her daughters shall return to their former estate, then thou and thy daughters shall return to your former estate.
Rom 8:16 Ir pati Dvasia liudija mūsų dvasiai, kad esame Dievo vaikai.
Ro 8:16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
Ps 61:5 O Dieve, iš tikrųjų tu išgirdai mano įžadus! Suteik man paveldą tų, kurie pagarbiai bijo tavo vardo.
Ps 61:5 For thou, O God, hast heard my vows: thou hast given me the heritage of those that fear thy name.
Apd 13:6 Taip jie perėjo visą salą iki Pafo, kur susitiko vieną žydą, burtininką ir netikrą pranašą, vardu Barjėzų.
Ac 13:6 And when they had gone through the isle unto Paphos, they found a certain sorcerer, a false prophet, a Jew, whose name was Barjesus:
1Jn 4:3 ir kiekviena dvasia, kuri Jėzaus neišpažįsta, nėra iš Dievo. Tokia dvasia iš Antikristo, apie kurį esate girdėję, jog jis ateisiąs. Jis jau dabar yra pasaulyje.
1J 4:3 And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.
Ezd 2:32 Harimo palikuonių trys šimtai dvidešimt,
Ezr 2:32 The children of Harim, three hundred and twenty.
Ps 78:35 atmindami, kad Dievas jų Uola, kad Dievas Aukščiausiasis ­ jų atpirkėjas.
Ps 78:35 And they remembered that God was their rock, and the high God their redeemer.
Ps 68:24 Dieve, visi mato tavo pergalės eitynes, Dievo, mano Karaliaus, žygiavimą į savo šventovę.
Ps 68:24 They have seen thy goings, O God; even the goings of my God, my King, in the sanctuary.
Ez 18:4 Tikėki manimi! Visi žmonės yra mano; ir tėvo gyvybė, ir sūnaus gyvybė man priklauso. Mirs tik tas, kuris nusideda.
Eze 18:4 Behold, all souls are mine; as the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is mine: the soul that sinneth, it shall die.
Jer 13:21 Ką tu sakysi, kai užpuls tave kaip užkariautojaitie, kuriuos tu mokei būti meilužiais? Ar nesurems tavęs skausmai, kaip suremia gimdančią moterį?
Jer 13:21 What wilt thou say when he shall punish thee? for thou hast taught them to be captains, and as chief over thee: shall not sorrows take thee, as a woman in travail?
Įst 2:26 Tad pasiunčiau iš Kedemotų dykumos pasiuntinius pas Hešbono karalių Sihoną su šitokiu taikos pasiūlymu:
De 2:26 And I sent messengers out of the wilderness of Kedemoth unto Sihon king of Heshbon with words of peace, saying,
Pat 15:8 Nedorėlių auka Viešpats bjaurisi, o teisiųjų malda jam patinka.
Pr 15:8 The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright is his delight.
Am 9:15 Pasodinsiu juos jų žemėje, ir jie niekada daugiau nebebus išrautiiš žemės, kurią jiems daviau", ­sako Viešpats, tavo Dievas.
Am 9:15 And I will plant them upon their land, and they shall no more be pulled up out of their land which I have given them, saith the LORD thy God.
2Pt 3:15 Mūsų Viešpaties kantrumą laikykite išgelbėjimu, kaip jums yra parašęs ir mūsų mylimasis brolis Paulius pagal jam duotą išmintį;
2P 3:15 And account that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation; even as our beloved brother Paul also according to the wisdom given unto him hath written unto you;
Įst 4:35 Tau tai buvo parodyta, kad žinotumei, jog Viešpats yra Dievas ir šalia jo nėra kito.
De 4:35 Unto thee it was shewed, that thou mightest know that the LORD he is God; there is none else beside him.
1Kor 3:2 Maitinau jus pienu, o ne kietu maistu, kurio jūs dar negalėjote priimti. Deja, ir dabar negalite,
1C 3:2 I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.

Sanctus Corpus Deus