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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Iz 41:15 Tu būsi mano kuliamasis velenas, aštrus, su nauju volu ir daugeliu dantų; tu kulsi kalnus ir triuškinsi juos, kalvas paversi pelais.
Isa 41:15 Behold, I will make thee a new sharp threshing instrument having teeth: thou shalt thresh the mountains, and beat them small, and shalt make the hills as chaff.
Kun 22:10 Joks pašalietis nevalgys šventųjų aukų; joks kunigo įnamis ar samdinys nevalgys šventųjų aukų.
Le 22:10 There shall no stranger eat of the holy thing: a sojourner of the priest, or an hired servant, shall not eat of the holy thing.
2Sam 15:6 Taip Abšalomas darydavo kiekvienam izraelitui, atėjusiam pas karalių į teismą. Tokiu būdu Abšalomas pavergė visų Izraelio žmonių širdis.
2Sa 15:6 And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
Sof 3:18 kaip džiūgaujama iškilmių dieną. Atitolinsiu nuo tavęs nelaimę, dėl kurios tu kentėjai pajuoką.
Zep 3:18 I will gather them that are sorrowful for the solemn assembly, who are of thee, to whom the reproach of it was a burden.
2Krn 27:3 Jis pastatė Viešpaties Namų Aukštutinius vartus ir daug statė ant Ofelio sienos.
2Ch 27:3 He built the high gate of the house of the LORD, and on the wall of Ophel he built much.
Rom 9:22 Ir jeigu Dievas, norėdamas parodyti savo rūstybę ir padaryti žinomą savo galybę, didžiu kantrumu pakentė pražūčiai nužiestus rūstybės indus,
Ro 9:22 What if God, willing to shew his wrath, and to make his power known, endured with much longsuffering the vessels of wrath fitted to destruction:
Jer 16:11 tu jiems atsakysi: ‘Todėl, kad jūsų tėvai mane paliko, ­ tai Viešpaties žodis. ­ Jie sekė svetimus dievus, jiems tarnavo ir juos garbino, o mane paliko ir nesilaikė mano Įstatymo.
Jer 16:11 Then shalt thou say unto them, Because your fathers have forsaken me, saith the LORD, and have walked after other gods, and have served them, and have worshipped them, and have forsaken me, and have not kept my law;
Iš 26:25 Taigi iš viso bus aštuonios lentos su sidabro pastovais ­ šešiolika pastovų: po du pastovus po pirmąja lenta ir po du pastovus po kitomis lentomis.
Ex 26:25 And they shall be eight boards, and their sockets of silver, sixteen sockets; two sockets under one board, and two sockets under another board.
Kun 22:21 Kai žmogus, vykdydamas įžadą, ar kaip savanorišką atnašą atnašauja bendravimo auką Viešpačiui iš galvijų bandos ar avių kaimenės, kad ji būtų maloni, gyvulys turi būti tobulas; jis neturės jokių trūkumų.
Le 22:21 And whosoever offereth a sacrifice of peace offerings unto the LORD to accomplish his vow, or a freewill offering in beeves or sheep, it shall be perfect to be accepted; there shall be no blemish therein.
Sk 18:30 Be to, pasakyk jiems: ‘Kai būsite atidėję geriausią dešimtinės dalį, likusi dešimtinė levitams bus kaip klojimo aslos ar vyninės derlius.
Nu 18:30 Therefore thou shalt say unto them, When ye have heaved the best thereof from it, then it shall be counted unto the Levites as the increase of the threshingfloor, and as the increase of the winepress.
1Kar 13:10 Tad Dievo vyras nuėjo kitu keliu. Keliu, kuriuo į Betelį buvo atėjęs, negrįžo.
1Ki 13:10 So he went another way, and returned not by the way that he came to Bethel.
1Sam 9:25 Jiems nusileidus nuo aukštumos alko į miestą, Sauliui buvo paklotas guolis ant namų stogo, ir jis atsigulė miegoti.
1Sa 9:25 And when they were come down from the high place into the city, Samuel communed with Saul upon the top of the house.
Sk 16:17 Paimkite kiekvienas savo smilkytuvą, įberkite į jį smilkalų, ir kiekvienas teatnašauja savo smilkytuvą Viešpaties akivaizdoje, du šimtus penkiasdešimt smilkytuvų, ir tu, ir Aaronas, kiekvienas su savo smilkytuvu. "
Nu 16:17 And take every man his censer, and put incense in them, and bring ye before the LORD every man his censer, two hundred and fifty censers; thou also, and Aaron, each of you his censer.
Įst 5:18 Nesvetimausi.
De 5:18 Neither shalt thou commit adultery.
Ez 3:22 Tuomet ten Viešpaties ranka palietė mane, ir jis tarė man: "Kelkis ir eik į slėnį. Tenai kalbėsiuosi su tavimi. "
Eze 3:22 And the hand of the LORD was there upon me; and he said unto me, Arise, go forth into the plain, and I will there talk with thee.
2Krn 3:11 Išskleisti kerubų sparnai buvo dvidešimt uolekčių: vienas sparnas, liečiantis vieną Namų sieną, penkių uolekčių ilgio, ir kitas sparnas, liečiantis kito kerubo sparną, penkių uolekčių ilgio;
2Ch 3:11 And the wings of the cherubims were twenty cubits long: one wing of the one cherub was five cubits, reaching to the wall of the house: and the other wing was likewise five cubits, reaching to the wing of the other cherub.
Apd 27:11 Tačiau šimtininkas labiau tikėjo vairininku ir laivo savininku negu Pauliaus įspėjimais.
Ac 27:11 Nevertheless the centurion believed the master and the owner of the ship, more than those things which were spoken by Paul.
Ez 36:19 Išblaškiau juos tarp tautų, ir jie buvo išvėtyti po kraštus; nubaudžiau juos, paisydamas jų elgesio ir darbų.
Eze 36:19 And I scattered them among the heathen, and they were dispersed through the countries: according to their way and according to their doings I judged them.
2Krn 28:27 Ahazas užmigo su savo protėviais ir buvo palaidotas mieste ­ Jeruzalėje, bet į Izraelio karalių kapus nebuvo nuneštas. Vietoj jo karaliumi tapo jo sūnus Ezekijas.
2Ch 28:27 And Ahaz slept with his fathers, and they buried him in the city, even in Jerusalem: but they brought him not into the sepulchres of the kings of Israel: and Hezekiah his son reigned in his stead.
2Sam 3:22 Kaip tik tuo metu Dovydo kariai ir Joabas sugrįžo iš žygio ir parnešė daug grobio. Bet Abnero pas Dovydą Hebrone nebebuvo, nes Dovydas jį išleido, ir jis išėjo susitaikinęs.
2Sa 3:22 And, behold, the servants of David and Joab came from pursuing a troop, and brought in a great spoil with them: but Abner was not with David in Hebron; for he had sent him away, and he was gone in peace.

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