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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Žyd 8:10 Ir štai kokia bus Sandora, kurią sudarysiu su Izraelio namais, praslinkus anoms dienoms, ­ sako Viešpats: ­ Aš duosiu savo įstatymus jų protamsir juos įrašysiu jų širdyse, aš būsiu jiems Dievas, o jie bus man tauta.
He 8:10 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people:
1Kar 16:29 Trisdešimt aštuntais Judo karaliaus Asos metais Omrio sūnus Ahabas tapo Izraelio karaliumi. Omrio sūnus Ahabas valdė Izraelį Samarijoje dvidešimt dvejus metus.
1Ki 16:29 And in the thirty and eighth year of Asa king of Judah began Ahab the son of Omri to reign over Israel: and Ahab the son of Omri reigned over Israel in Samaria twenty and two years.
1Tim 2:10 o verčiau ­ kaip dera moterims, pasižyminčioms pamaldumu ­ gerais darbais.
1Ti 2:10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
1Krn 16:41 Su jais buvo Hemanas, Jedutūnas ir kiti rinktiniai vyrai, pagal vardus paskirti išreikšti padėką Viešpačiui, nes jo ištikimoji meilė yra amžina.
1Ch 16:41 And with them Heman and Jeduthun, and the rest that were chosen, who were expressed by name, to give thanks to the LORD, because his mercy endureth for ever;
Iš 2:17 Tuo tarpu atėjo keletas piemenų ir nuvarė jas į šalį. Mozė pakilo, apgynė jas ir pagirdė jų kaimenę.
Ex 2:17 And the shepherds came and drove them away: but Moses stood up and helped them, and watered their flock.
Ezd 6:20 nes ir kunigai, ir levitai buvo apsivalę. Visi buvo švarūs. Jie pjovė Paschos avinėlį visiems sugrįžusiems tremtiniams, savo broliams kunigams ir sau patiems.
Ezr 6:20 For the priests and the Levites were purified together, all of them were pure, and killed the passover for all the children of the captivity, and for their brethren the priests, and for themselves.
Lk 9:51 Atėjus metui, kai turėjo būti paimtas iš pasaulio, Jėzus ryžtingai nukreipė savo žingsnius į Jeruzalę.
Lu 9:51 And it came to pass, when the time was come that he should be received up, he stedfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem,
Mk 6:49 Šie, pamatę jį einantį ežero paviršiumi, pamanė, jog tai šmėkla, ir ėmė šaukti.
Mar 6:49 But when they saw him walking upon the sea, they supposed it had been a spirit, and cried out:
Rom 14:20 Taigi negriauk Dievo darbo dėl maisto! Nors viskas tyra, bet gali tapti bloga žmogui, kuris valgo, piktindamas kitus.
Ro 14:20 For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence.
Gal 6:18 Mūsų Viešpaties Jėzaus Kristaus malonė tebūnie, broliai, su jūsų dvasia! Amen.
Ga 6:18 Brethren, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.
1Sam 21:15 Nejau man trūksta pamišėlių, kad atvedėte šį vyruką prieš mane maivytis? Argi turėtų toks įeiti į mano namus? "
1Sa 21:15 Have I need of mad men, that ye have brought this fellow to play the mad man in my presence? shall this fellow come into my house?
Ps 16:9 Todėl linksma mano širdis, džiūgauja visa mano gyvastisir ramiai ilsisi mano kūnas.
Ps 16:9 Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.
Ps 92:4 Juk tu, Viešpatie, pradžiuginai mane savo veikla, tad su džiaugsmu apgiedu tavo rankų darbus.
Ps 92:4 For thou, LORD, hast made me glad through thy work: I will triumph in the works of thy hands.
1Kar 20:21 Išžygiavęs Izraelio karalius puolė arklius bei kovos vežimus ir ištiko aramėjus dideliu pralaimėjimu.
1Ki 20:21 And the king of Israel went out, and smote the horses and chariots, and slew the Syrians with a great slaughter.
Pr 21:33 O [Abraomas] pasodino Beer Šeboje tamariksą ir ten vardu šaukėsi Viešpaties, Dievo Amžinojo.
Ge 21:33 And Abraham planted a grove in Beersheba, and called there on the name of the LORD, the everlasting God.
Pat 13:4 Dykaduonis alksta ir nieko neturi, o darbštus žmogus vaišinsis prie turtingo stalo.
Pr 13:4 The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.
Lk 17:2 Jam būtų geriau, jei ant kaklo būtų užmauta girnapusė ir jis būtų įmestas jūron, negu papiktintų bent vieną šitų mažutėlių.
Lu 17:2 It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Iz 13:18 Jų lankai išguldys jaunus vyrus; jiems nebus gaila kūdikių, jie nepaliks gyvų vaikų.
Isa 13:18 Their bows also shall dash the young men to pieces; and they shall have no pity on the fruit of the womb; their eyes shall not spare children.
Jer 5:4 Tariau sau: "Jie ­ tik varguoliai; užtat ir elgiasi paikai, kad nežino Viešpaties kelionei savo Dievo teisingumo.
Jer 5:4 Therefore I said, Surely these are poor; they are foolish: for they know not the way of the LORD, nor the judgment of their God.
Koh 9:7 Taigi eikš, valgyk duoną su džiaugsmu ir gerk vyną linksma širdimi, nes Dievas jau seniai patvirtino, ką darai.
Ec 9:7 Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works.

Sanctus Corpus Deus