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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Ts 5:16 Kodėl delsei tarp avidžių, klausydamasis švilpiniavimo kaimenėms? Rubeno kiltyse tęsėsiilgi širdies svarstymai.
Judg 5:16 Why abodest thou among the sheepfolds, to hear the bleatings of the flocks? For the divisions of Reuben there were great searchings of heart.
1Kar 13:10 Tad Dievo vyras nuėjo kitu keliu. Keliu, kuriuo į Betelį buvo atėjęs, negrįžo.
1Ki 13:10 So he went another way, and returned not by the way that he came to Bethel.
1Krn 19:13 Būk narsus! Būkime ryžtingi dėl savo tautos ir dėl mūsų Dievo miestų! Tedaro Viešpats, kas gera jo akyse! "
1Ch 19:13 Be of good courage, and let us behave ourselves valiantly for our people, and for the cities of our God: and let the LORD do that which is good in his sight.
Jer 50:39 Tad gyvens ten laukiniai žvėrys su hienomis, ten kursis ir stručiai. Niekada jame nebegyvens žmonės, niekas nebesikurs jame per amžius.
Jer 50:39 Therefore the wild beasts of the desert with the wild beasts of the islands shall dwell there, and the owls shall dwell therein: and it shall be no more inhabited for ever; neither shall it be dwelt in from generation to generation.
Ts 11:2 O Gileado žmona pagimdė jam sūnų. Užaugę Gileado žmonos sūnūs išvarė Iftachą. Jie sakė jam: "Mūsų tėvo namuose tu nieko nepaveldėsi, nes esi pašalietės moters sūnus. "
Judg 11:2 And Gilead's wife bare him sons; and his wife's sons grew up, and they thrust out Jephthah, and said unto him, Thou shalt not inherit in our father's house; for thou art the son of a strange woman.
Pat 3:5 Visa širdimi pasitikėk Viešpačiuir nesiremk vien savo įžvalga.
Pr 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
Sk 9:2 "Teatnašauja izraelitai Paschą nustatytu laiku.
Nu 9:2 Let the children of Israel also keep the passover at his appointed season.
Ez 13:4 Izraeli, tavo pranašai ­ tarsi šakalai tarp griuvėsių!
Eze 13:4 O Israel, thy prophets are like the foxes in the deserts.
1Kor 4:14 Aš tai rašau, ne norėdamas jus gėdinti, bet įspėdamas kaip mylimus savo vaikus.
1C 4:14 I write not these things to shame you, but as my beloved sons I warn you.
Jn 20:22 Tai pasakęs, jis kvėpė į juos ir tarė: "Imkite Šventąją Dvasią.
Jo 20:22 And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and saith unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost:
2Sam 3:39 Dabar aš bejėgis, nors ir pateptas karaliumi. Tie vyrai, Cerujos sūnūs, man per aršūs. Teatmoka Viešpats darančiam pikta pagal jo nedorumą! "
2Sa 3:39 And I am this day weak, though anointed king; and these men the sons of Zeruiah be too hard for me: the LORD shall reward the doer of evil according to his wickedness.
Jer 13:19 Negebo miestai apgulti, nėra kam jų gelbėti. Visi Judo žmonės nušluoti į tremtį, visi ištremti.
Jer 13:19 The cities of the south shall be shut up, and none shall open them: Judah shall be carried away captive all of it, it shall be wholly carried away captive.
Iš 22:10 Jei kas pavestų kaimynui saugoti asilą, jautį ar bet kokį kitą gyvulį, ir gyvulys nugaištų ar būtų sužalotas, ar pagrobtas niekam nematant,
Ex 22:10 If a man deliver unto his neighbour an ass, or an ox, or a sheep, or any beast, to keep; and it die, or be hurt, or driven away, no man seeing it:
Ps 105:36 Jis sunaikino visus pirmagimius jų žemėje, visas jų jaunystės pirmienas.
Ps 105:36 He smote also all the firstborn in their land, the chief of all their strength.
Hab 2:16 Būsi sotus paniekaužuot pasisotinęs garbe. Gerk ir pats! Svirduliuok! Taurė Viešpaties dešinėje pasisuks į tave, ir gėda aptemdys tavo garbę!
Hab 2:16 Thou art filled with shame for glory: drink thou also, and let thy foreskin be uncovered: the cup of the LORD's right hand shall be turned unto thee, and shameful spewing shall be on thy glory.
Pr 24:11 Jis suklupdė kupranugarius už miesto prie šulinio. Diena slinko vakarop. Tuo metu paprastai moterys išeidavo semti vandens.
Ge 24:11 And he made his camels to kneel down without the city by a well of water at the time of the evening, even the time that women go out to draw water.
1Sam 16:6 Jiems atvykus, jis pamatė Eliabą ir pamanė: "Tikriausiai Viešpaties pateptasis stovi prieš Viešpatį. "
1Sa 16:6 And it came to pass, when they were come, that he looked on Eliab, and said, Surely the LORD's anointed is before him.
Iš 23:13 Įsimink visa, ką tau pasakiau. Kitų dievų vardo neminėk, tenepasigirsta jis iš tavo lūpų.
Ex 23:13 And in all things that I have said unto you be circumspect: and make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth.
Ps 75:6 Juk ne iš rytų ir ne iš vakarųtai ateina, ne iš dykumos ir ne iš kalnų.
Ps 75:6 For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south.
Rom 11:24 Tad jeigu tu buvai iškirstas iš prigimtojo laukinio alyvmedžio ir prieš prigimtį įskiepytas tauriajame alyvmedyje, tai dar lengviau anie bus priskiepyti pagal prigimtį savajame alyvmedyje.
Ro 11:24 For if thou wert cut out of the olive tree which is wild by nature, and wert graffed contrary to nature into a good olive tree: how much more shall these, which be the natural branches, be graffed into their own olive tree?

Sanctus Corpus Deus