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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Jud 1:21 Išsilaikykite Dievo meilėje laukdami mūsų Viešpaties Jėzaus Kristaus gailestingumo amžinajam gyvenimui.
Jude 1:21 Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
Pat 1:11 Jei sakytų: "Eikš su mumis, surenkime kruvinas pasalas, paspęskime spąstus nekaltiems!
Pr 1:11 If they say, Come with us, let us lay wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the innocent without cause:
Žyd 13:19 Itin prašau melsti, kad būčiau greičiau jums sugrąžintas.
He 13:19 But I beseech you the rather to do this, that I may be restored to you the sooner.
Koh 5:20 Toks žmogus vargu ar niūriai žvelgs į savo gyvenimo dienas, nes Dievas leidžia jam mėgautis savo širdies džiaugsmu.
Ec 5:20 For he shall not much remember the days of his life; because God answereth him in the joy of his heart.
1Tes 5:22 Susilaikykite nuo visokio blogio!
1Th 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.
Sk 4:13 Nuvalę pelenus nuo aukuro, apdengs jį violetiniu audiniu.
Nu 4:13 And they shall take away the ashes from the altar, and spread a purple cloth thereon:
Jn 9:29 Mes žinome, kad Mozei yra kalbėjęs Dievas, o iš kur šitas, mes nežinome. "
Jo 9:29 We know that God spake unto Moses: as for this fellow, we know not from whence he is.
Sk 11:22 Argi yra tiek avių kaimenių ir galvijų bandų jiems paskersti? Argi yra jūroje tiek žuvų jiems pagauti? "
Nu 11:22 Shall the flocks and the herds be slain for them, to suffice them? or shall all the fish of the sea be gathered together for them, to suffice them?
Jer 7:1 Jeremiją pasiekė Viešpaties žodis:
Jer 7:1 The word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD, saying,
2Krn 34:6 Panašiai pasielgė ir Manaso, Efraimo, Simeono miestuose iki pat Naftalio bei jų nuniokotuose aplinkiniuose kaimuose.
2Ch 34:6 And so did he in the cities of Manasseh, and Ephraim, and Simeon, even unto Naphtali, with their mattocks round about.
Ts 3:23 Ehudas išėjo per prieangį, pirma uždaręs ir užrakinęs kambario ant stogo duris.
Judg 3:23 Then Ehud went forth through the porch, and shut the doors of the parlour upon him, and locked them.
Jn 8:49 Jėzus jiems tarė: "Aš nesu velnio apsėstas. Aš tik gerbiu savo Tėvą, o jūs niekinate mane.
Jo 8:49 Jesus answered, I have not a devil; but I honour my Father, and ye do dishonour me.
2Kor 10:18 Ne tas priimtinas, kuris pats prisistato, bet tas, kurį Viešpats pristato.
2C 10:18 For not he that commendeth himself is approved, but whom the Lord commendeth.
2Krn 4:6 Jis padarė dešimt praustuvų plovimui; penkis pastatė dešiniame šone ir penkis ­ kairiame. Juose buvo skalaujamos deginamosioms aukoms skirtos atnašų dalys, o jūra buvo skirta kunigams apsiplauti.
2Ch 4:6 He made also ten lavers, and put five on the right hand, and five on the left, to wash in them: such things as they offered for the burnt offering they washed in them; but the sea was for the priests to wash in.
Iz 26:19 Tavo mirusieji gyvens, jų kūnai prisikels, nes tavo rasa ­ rasa, švytinti šviesa, todėl ir šešėlių šalis atiduos mirusiuosius. Pabuskite ir šaukite iš džiaugsmo, visi, kurie gulite dulkėse!
Isa 26:19 Thy dead men shall live, together with my dead body shall they arise. Awake and sing, ye that dwell in dust: for thy dew is as the dew of herbs, and the earth shall cast out the dead.
Pr 34:15 Tik su tokia sąlyga sutiksime su tavimi: jei jūs, apipjaustydami visus savo vyriškius, tapsite kaip mes.
Ge 34:15 But in this will we consent unto you: If ye will be as we be, that every male of you be circumcised;
2Sam 13:29 Abšalomo tarnai pasielgė su Amnonu, kaip Abšalomas buvo įsakęs. Tada visi kiti karaliaus sūnūs sėdo kiekvienas ant savo mulo ir pabėgo.
2Sa 13:29 And the servants of Absalom did unto Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose, and every man gat him up upon his mule, and fled.
1Kar 1:32 Karalius Dovydas tarė: "Pašaukite pas mane kunigą Cadoką, pranašą Nataną ir Jehojados sūnų Benają! " Jiems atėjus karaliaus akivaizdon,
1Ki 1:32 And king David said, Call me Zadok the priest, and Nathan the prophet, and Benaiah the son of Jehoiada. And they came before the king.
Sk 22:31 Tada Viešpats atvėrė Bileamui akis. Ir jis pamatė Viešpaties angelą, stovintį ant kelio su ištrauktu iš makšties kalaviju rankoje. Jis nusilenkė ir parpuolė kniūbsčias.
Nu 22:31 Then the LORD opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he bowed down his head, and fell flat on his face.
Mt 6:31 Todėl nesisielokite ir neklausinėkite: ‘Ką valgysime? ’ ­ arba: ‘Ką gersime? ’ ­ arba: ‘Kuo vilkėsime? ’
Mat 6:31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

Sanctus Corpus Deus