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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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2Sam 15:15 Karaliaus dvariškiai sakė karaliui: "Tavo tarnai pasirengę daryti visa, ką tik viešpats mūsų karalius nutars. "
2Sa 15:15 And the king's servants said unto the king, Behold, thy servants are ready to do whatsoever my lord the king shall appoint.
Mk 14:22 Bevakarieniaujant Jėzus paėmęs duoną palaimino, laužė ją ir davė mokiniams, tardamas: "Imkite, tai mano kūnas! "
Mar 14:22 And as they did eat, Jesus took bread, and blessed, and brake it, and gave to them, and said, Take, eat: this is my body.
Jer 6:20 Kam gi man smilkalai iš Šebosir kvapieji meldai iš tolimo krašto? Man ne prie širdies jūsų deginamosios aukos, nemalonios man jūsų atnašos.
Jer 6:20 To what purpose cometh there to me incense from Sheba, and the sweet cane from a far country? your burnt offerings are not acceptable, nor your sacrifices sweet unto me.
Iz 1:20 bet jeigu atsisakote paklusti, tai jus sudoros kalavijas. "Pats Viešpats kalbėjo!
Isa 1:20 But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it.
Joz 24:21 O žmonės atsakė Jozuei: "Ne! Mes norime tarnauti Viešpačiui! "
Jos 24:21 And the people said unto Joshua, Nay; but we will serve the LORD.
Zch 8:13 Kaip buvote keikiami tautų, o Judo namai ir Izraelio namai, taip pat, kai jus išgelbėsiu, būsite giriami. Nebijokite! Tebūna tvirtos jūsų rankos! ’
Zec 8:13 And it shall come to pass, that as ye were a curse among the heathen, O house of Judah, and house of Israel; so will I save you, and ye shall be a blessing: fear not, but let your hands be strong.
Iš 6:15 Simeono sūnūs: Jemuelis, Jaminas, Ohadas, Jachinas, Coharas ir kanaanietės sūnus Saulius. Tai Simeono kiltys.
Ex 6:15 And the sons of Simeon; Jemuel, and Jamin, and Ohad, and Jachin, and Zohar, and Shaul the son of a Canaanitish woman: these are the families of Simeon.
Pr 39:12 ji įsikibo į jo drabužį, sakydama: "Sugulk su manimi! " Bet jis ištrūko ir išbėgo laukan, palikdamas savo drabužį jos rankoje.
Ge 39:12 And she caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out.
1Kar 7:7 Jis padarė Sosto menę ­ Teismo menę, kurioje turėjo spręsti bylas. Ji buvo išmušta kedro medžiu nuo grindų ligi lubų sijų.
1Ki 7:7 Then he made a porch for the throne where he might judge, even the porch of judgment: and it was covered with cedar from one side of the floor to the other.
Įst 33:5 tada [Viešpats] tapo karaliumi Ješurūne, tautos galvoms į draugę surinkus Izraelio gimines.
De 33:5 And he was king in Jeshurun, when the heads of the people and the tribes of Israel were gathered together.
Kun 23:12 Tą dieną, kai pasiūbuojate pėdą, atnašausite Viešpačiui sveiką mitulį avinėlį kaip deginamąją auką.
Le 23:12 And ye shall offer that day when ye wave the sheaf an he lamb without blemish of the first year for a burnt offering unto the LORD.
Lk 1:32 Jisai bus didis ir vadinsis Aukščiausiojo Sūnus. Viešpats Dievas duos jam jo tėvo Dovydo sostą;
Lu 1:32 He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:
Sk 3:32 Vyriausioji levitų galva buvo Aarono sūnus Eleazaras. Jam pavesta prižiūrėti tarnaujančiuosius šventykloje.
Nu 3:32 And Eleazar the son of Aaron the priest shall be chief over the chief of the Levites, and have the oversight of them that keep the charge of the sanctuary.
Ps 119:160 Tiesa ­ tavo žodžio šerdis, kiekvienas tavo teisus sprendimas tveria amžinai.
Ps 119:160 Thy word is true from the beginning: and every one of thy righteous judgments endureth for ever.
1Kar 11:38 Jeigu būsi klusnus visur, kur tau įsakau, eisi mano keliais ir darysi, kas dora mano akyse, laikydamasis mano įstatų ir įsakymų, kaip darė mano tarnas Dovydas, aš būsiu su tavimi, pastatysiu tau tvirtus namus, kaip pastačiau Dovydui, ir atiduosiu tau Izraelį.
1Ki 11:38 And it shall be, if thou wilt hearken unto all that I command thee, and wilt walk in my ways, and do that is right in my sight, to keep my statutes and my commandments, as David my servant did; that I will be with thee, and build thee a sure house, as I built for David, and will give Israel unto thee.
Ts 20:18 Nuvykę į Betelį, izraelitai teiravosi Dievo: "Kas iš mūsų pirmi eis į mūšį prieš Benjamino giminės žmones? " Viešpats atsakė: "Judas eis pirmas. "
Judg 20:18 And the children of Israel arose, and went up to the house of God, and asked counsel of God, and said, Which of us shall go up first to the battle against the children of Benjamin? And the LORD said, Judah shall go up first.
Iz 57:8 Už durų ir staktųpasistatei savo nešvankųjį ženklą. Atmesdama mane, pasiklojai sau gultą, lipai į jį ir jį padidinai. Mėgdama gultą, sudarei su jais sandėrį, kad jie tau dažnai būtų priegulais, ir šitaip tenkinai savo gašlumą.
Isa 57:8 Behind the doors also and the posts hast thou set up thy remembrance: for thou hast discovered thyself to another than me, and art gone up; thou hast enlarged thy bed, and made thee a covenant with them; thou lovedst their bed where thou sawest it.
Fil 2:16 Tvirtai laikykitės gyvenimo žodžio, kad Kristaus dieną galėčiau pasigirti ne veltui bėgęs ir ne veltui vargęs.
Phil 2:16 Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain.
1Sam 14:41 "O Viešpatie, Izraelio Dieve, ­ tarė Saulius, ­ kodėl šiandien neatsakei savo tarnui? Jei kaltas esu aš ar mano sūnus Jehonatanas, o Viešpatie, Izraelio Dieve, atsakyk Urimais. Bet jei ši kaltė yra tavo tautoje Izraelyje, atsakyk Tumimais. " Burtais buvo nurodyti Jonatanas ir Saulius.
1Sa 14:41 Therefore Saul said unto the LORD God of Israel, Give a perfect lot. And Saul and Jonathan were taken: but the people escaped.
Apd 16:25 Apie vidurnaktį Paulius ir Silas meldėsi ir giedojo Dievui himną. Kiti kaliniai klausėsi.
Ac 16:25 And at midnight Paul and Silas prayed, and sang praises unto God: and the prisoners heard them.

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