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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Ps 101:6 Akimis ieškau krašte Dievui ištikimų žmonių, kad jie gyventų su manimi; kas laikosi doro kelio, tas bus mano tarnyboje.
Ps 101:6 Mine eyes shall be upon the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me: he that walketh in a perfect way, he shall serve me.
Job 38:28 Argi lietus turi tėvą? Argi rasos lašai buvo pradėti kaip vaikai?
Job 38:28 Hath the rain a father? or who hath begotten the drops of dew?
1Kar 21:6 Jis papasakojo jai: "Kalbėjausi su Nabotu Jezreeliečiu ir sakiau jam: ‘Parduok man savo vynuogyną už pinigus, arba, jei tau patinka, duosiu už jį kitą vynuogyną’, ­ bet jis atsakė: ‘Aš savo vynuogyno tau neduosiu! ’"
1Ki 21:6 And he said unto her, Because I spake unto Naboth the Jezreelite, and said unto him, Give me thy vineyard for money; or else, if it please thee, I will give thee another vineyard for it: and he answered, I will not give thee my vineyard.
Mk 9:34 Jie tylėjo. Mat kelyje jie ginčijosi, kuris iš jų didžiausias.
Mar 9:34 But they held their peace: for by the way they had disputed among themselves, who should be the greatest.
2Kar 25:13 Vario stulpus, esančius Viešpaties Namuose, pastovus ir vario jūrą, buvusią Viešpaties Namuose, chaldėjai sudaužė ir visą varį išgabeno į Babiloną.
2Ki 25:13 And the pillars of brass that were in the house of the LORD, and the bases, and the brasen sea that was in the house of the LORD, did the Chaldees break in pieces, and carried the brass of them to Babylon.
Gal 2:18 Bet jeigu aš vėl atstatau, ką buvau išgriovęs, tai pasirodau esąs nusikaltėlis.
Ga 2:18 For if I build again the things which I destroyed, I make myself a transgressor.
Zch 1:16 Todėl taip kalba Galybių Viešpats: ‘Grįžtu į Jeruzalę iš pasigailėjimo; joje bus atstatyti mano Namai, ­tai Galybių Viešpaties žodis, ­virš Jeruzalės bus ištiesta matavimo virvė. ’ ­
Zec 1:16 Therefore thus saith the LORD; I am returned to Jerusalem with mercies: my house shall be built in it, saith the LORD of hosts, and a line shall be stretched forth upon Jerusalem.
Ez 47:22 Kaip paveldą paskirstysite jį burtu sau patiems ir ateiviams, gyvenantiems tarp jūsų, kurie pagimdė pas jus vaikų. Su jais elgsitės kaip su gimusiais Izraelyje, su jumis bus jiems burtu paskirtas paveldas tarp Izraelio giminių.
Eze 47:22 And it shall come to pass, that ye shall divide it by lot for an inheritance unto you, and to the strangers that sojourn among you, which shall beget children among you: and they shall be unto you as born in the country among the children of Israel; they shall have inheritance with you among the tribes of Israel.
1Tim 2:3 Tai gera ir priimtina akyse mūsų Gelbėtojo Dievo,
1Ti 2:3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour;
Iz 9:5 Visi sandalai karių, trypusių mūšio maišatyje, visos jų skraistės, išvoliotos kraujyje, bus sudegintos ir pamaitins ugnį.
Isa 9:5 For every battle of the warrior is with confused noise, and garments rolled in blood; but this shall be with burning and fuel of fire.
Apr 4:7 Pirmoji būtybė buvo panaši į liūtą, antroji būtybė panaši į veršį, trečioji būtybė turinti tarytum žmogaus veidą, ketvirtoji būtybė panaši į skrendantį erelį.
Re 4:7 And the first beast was like a lion, and the second beast like a calf, and the third beast had a face as a man, and the fourth beast was like a flying eagle.
Ts 1:3 Judas kreipėsi į brolišką Simeono giminę: "Eikš su manimi į burtų keliu man tekusią žemę ir kovokime su kanaaniečiais. Po to aš žygiuosiu su tavimi į burtų keliu tau tekusią žemę. " Ir Simeonas žygiavo su juo.
Judg 1:3 And Judah said unto Simeon his brother, Come up with me into my lot, that we may fight against the Canaanites; and I likewise will go with thee into thy lot. So Simeon went with him.
Jer 49:10 Bet aš, aš pats apnuoginau Ezavą, atidengiau jo slaptuosius guolius; nebėra kur jam slėptis. Išnaikinti ir jo palikuonys, ir giminės, ir kaimynai; jo nebėra!
Jer 49:10 But I have made Esau bare, I have uncovered his secret places, and he shall not be able to hide himself: his seed is spoiled, and his brethren, and his neighbours, and he is not.
Neh 7:14 Zakajo palikuonių septyni šimtai šešiasdešimt,
Ne 7:14 The children of Zaccai, seven hundred and threescore.
1Kar 12:3 Buvo pasiųsti žmonės jo pašaukti. Jeroboamas ir visa Izraelio sueiga atėjo ir kalbėjo Rehabeamui:
1Ki 12:3 That they sent and called him. And Jeroboam and all the congregation of Israel came, and spake unto Rehoboam, saying,
Kun 20:10 Jei vyras svetimauja su ištekėjusia moterimi, nusikalsdamas svetimavimu su artimo žmona, abu ­ svetimautojas ir svetimautoja ­ bus nubausti mirtimi.
Le 20:10 And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
Jer 22:24 Kaip aš gyvas, ­ tai Viešpaties žodis, ­ net jeigu Jehojakimo sūnus Konijas , Judo karalius, būtų antspaudo žiedas ant mano dešinės, net nuo ten jį nuplėščiau.
Jer 22:24 As I live, saith the LORD, though Coniah the son of Jehoiakim king of Judah were the signet upon my right hand, yet would I pluck thee thence;
Lk 13:20 Jis vėl tarė: "Su kuo man palyginti Dievo karalystę?
Lu 13:20 And again he said, Whereunto shall I liken the kingdom of God?
Pr 18:31 Jis tarė: "Žiūrėk, kaip drįstu kalbėti Viešpačiui. O jei ten rastųsi dvidešimt? " Jis atsakė: "Ir dėl dvidešimt nesunaikinsiu. "
Ge 18:31 And he said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the LORD: Peradventure there shall be twenty found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for twenty's sake.
Ts 12:14 Jis turėjo keturiasdešimt sūnų ir trisdešimt vaikaičių, jojančių ant septyniasdešimt pabalnotų asilų. Jis teisė Izraelį aštuonerius metus.
Judg 12:14 And he had forty sons and thirty nephews, that rode on threescore and ten ass colts: and he judged Israel eight years.

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