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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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1Kor 7:31 ir kurie užsiėmę pasaulio reikalais, tarsi neužsiėmę. Juk šio pasaulio pavidalas praeina.
1C 7:31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
2Sam 24:24 Bet karalius atsakė Araunai: "Ne! Turiu pirkti juos iš tavęs už kainą. Viešpačiui, savo Dievui, aš neatnašausiu deginamųjų aukų, kurios man nieko nekainuoja. " Tad Dovydas nupirko klojimą ir jaučius už penkiasdešimt sidabro šekelių.
2Sa 24:24 And the king said unto Araunah, Nay; but I will surely buy it of thee at a price: neither will I offer burnt offerings unto the LORD my God of that which doth cost me nothing. So David bought the threshingfloor and the oxen for fifty shekels of silver.
Ez 40:4 Vyras tarė man: "Žmogau, gerai įsižiūrėk, atidžiai įsiklausyk ir įsidėk į širdį visa, ką tau parodysiu, nes tam esi čia atvestas, kad tai parodyčiau. Visa, ką matysi, paskelbk Izraelio namams. "
Eze 40:4 And the man said unto me, Son of man, behold with thine eyes, and hear with thine ears, and set thine heart upon all that I shall shew thee; for to the intent that I might shew them unto thee art thou brought hither: declare all that thou seest to the house of Israel.
Sk 11:19 Valgysite ne tik vieną ar dvi, ar penkias, ar dešimt, ar dvidešimt dienų,
Nu 11:19 Ye shall not eat one day, nor two days, nor five days, neither ten days, nor twenty days;
Rut 2:7 Ji prašė: ‘Leisk man pasirankioti tarp pėdų paskui pjovėjus. ’ Ji atėjo ir buvo ant kojų nuo ryto ligi dabar be perstojo, nesustodama net trumpam poilsiui! "
Ru 2:7 And she said, I pray you, let me glean and gather after the reapers among the sheaves: so she came, and hath continued even from the morning until now, that she tarried a little in the house.
Job 23:13 Nusprendžia jis vienas, ir kas gali jį atkalbėti? Ką tik nori, tą jis ir daro.
Job 23:13 But he is in one mind, and who can turn him? and what his soul desireth, even that he doeth.
Apd 22:21 Bet jis man pakartojo: ‘Eik, nes išsiųsiu tave toli, pas pagonis. ’"
Ac 22:21 And he said unto me, Depart: for I will send thee far hence unto the Gentiles.
Apd 24:23 Jis davė nurodymą šimtininkui sergėti Paulių, tačiau daryti lengvatų ir netrukdyti jo žmonėms teikti jam paslaugų.
Ac 24:23 And he commanded a centurion to keep Paul, and to let him have liberty, and that he should forbid none of his acquaintance to minister or come unto him.
Jer 51:58 Taip kalba Galybių Viešpats: "Plačioji Babilono siena bus sulyginta su žeme, aukštieji vartai sudeginti ugnimi. Taigi tautos tuščiai triūsiair gentys dėl liepsnų varginasi. "
Jer 51:58 Thus saith the LORD of hosts; The broad walls of Babylon shall be utterly broken, and her high gates shall be burned with fire; and the people shall labour in vain, and the folk in the fire, and they shall be weary.
Mch 6:6 "Kuo nešinas ateisiu į Viešpaties Artumąir nusilenksiu aukštybių Dievui? Ar ateisiu su deginamosiomis aukomis, su mituliais veršiais?
Mic 6:6 Wherewith shall I come before the LORD, and bow myself before the high God? shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves of a year old?
2Sam 14:27 Abšalomui gimė trys sūnūs ir viena duktė, vardu Tamara. Ji buvo graži moteris.
2Sa 14:27 And unto Absalom there were born three sons, and one daughter, whose name was Tamar: she was a woman of a fair countenance.
Jer 8:8 Kaip galite sakyti: ‘Mes išmintingi! Mes turime Viešpaties Įstatymą’? Juk iš tikrųjų melaginga žinovo plunksna jie pavertė jį melu!
Jer 8:8 How do ye say, We are wise, and the law of the LORD is with us? Lo, certainly in vain made he it; the pen of the scribes is in vain.
2Kar 9:35 Bet, nuėję jos laidoti, jie rado tik kaukolę, kojas ir rankų galūnes.
2Ki 9:35 And they went to bury her: but they found no more of her than the skull, and the feet, and the palms of her hands.
Lk 13:33 Bet šiandien ir rytoj, ir poryt aš turiu keliauti; nedera juk pranašui žūti ne Jeruzalėje. ’
Lu 13:33 Nevertheless I must walk to day, and to morrow, and the day following: for it cannot be that a prophet perish out of Jerusalem.
Est 4:13 jis liepė taip atsakyti Esterai: "Nemanyk, kad karaliaus rūmuose būsi saugesnė negu kiti žydai!
Es 4:13 Then Mordecai commanded to answer Esther, Think not with thyself that thou shalt escape in the king's house, more than all the Jews.
2Kor 5:1 Mes juk žinome, kad, mūsų žemiškosios padangtės būstui suirus, mūsų laukia Dievo pastatas, ne rankomis statyti amžinieji namai danguje.
2C 5:1 For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
Ts 16:24 Ir žmonės, matydami jį, giesmėmis liaupsino savo dievą: "Mūsų dievas įdavė mums į rankas priešą, niokojusį mūsų kraštą, užmušusį daugelį mūsiškių. "
Judg 16:24 And when the people saw him, they praised their god: for they said, Our god hath delivered into our hands our enemy, and the destroyer of our country, which slew many of us.
Ts 21:7 Kaip mes parūpinsim žmonų išlikusiems? Juk esame prisiekę Viešpačiui neduoti jiems žmonų iš savo dukterų! "
Judg 21:7 How shall we do for wives for them that remain, seeing we have sworn by the LORD that we will not give them of our daughters to wives?
Kun 22:22 Aklo ar sužaloto, suluošinto ar turinčio pūlinį, aptekusio niežais ar nušašusio ­ tokio gyvulio Viešpačiui neatnašausite, nė vieno jų nedėsite ant aukuro kaip ugninės atnašos Viešpačiui.
Le 22:22 Blind, or broken, or maimed, or having a wen, or scurvy, or scabbed, ye shall not offer these unto the LORD, nor make an offering by fire of them upon the altar unto the LORD.
2Sam 21:5 Tada jie tarė karaliui: "Už tą žmogų, skerdusį mus ir ketinusį išnaikinti, kad neišliktume niekur Izraelio žemėje,
2Sa 21:5 And they answered the king, The man that consumed us, and that devised against us that we should be destroyed from remaining in any of the coasts of Israel,

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