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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Ps 124:7 Ištrūkome lyg paukštis iš medžiotojo spąstų; spąstai sulaužyti, ir mes ištrūkome.
Ps 124:7 Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped.
Pr 39:4 Juozapas rado malonę jo akyse ir tapo jo asmeniniu tarnu. Ilgainiui jis padarė jį savo namų prievaizdu ir patikėjo jam visa, ką turėjo.
Ge 39:4 And Joseph found grace in his sight, and he served him: and he made him overseer over his house, and all that he had he put into his hand.
Sk 22:38 Bileamas atsakė Balakui: "Štai atėjau pas tave, bet ar tikrai turiu galios ką nors kalbėti? Aš galiu tarti tik žodį, kurį Dievas įdeda man į lūpas".
Nu 22:38 And Balaam said unto Balak, Lo, I am come unto thee: have I now any power at all to say any thing? the word that God putteth in my mouth, that shall I speak.
Sk 19:17 Nešvariajam žmogui turi būti paimta sudegintos apvalymo atnašos pelenų ir įpilta tekančio vandens į indą;
Nu 19:17 And for an unclean person they shall take of the ashes of the burnt heifer of purification for sin, and running water shall be put thereto in a vessel:
Įst 4:26 šią dieną aš šaukiu dangų ir žemę liudyti, kad jūs veikiai dingsite iš krašto, kurį, perėję Jordaną, paveldėsite. Jame ilgai negyvensite, nes būsite visiškai išnaikinti.
De 4:26 I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that ye shall soon utterly perish from off the land whereunto ye go over Jordan to possess it; ye shall not prolong your days upon it, but shall utterly be destroyed.
Pr 35:19 Rachelė numirė ir buvo palaidota prie kelio į Efratą, tai yra Betliejų.
Ge 35:19 And Rachel died, and was buried in the way to Ephrath, which is Bethlehem.
1Krn 2:36 Atajui gimė Natanas, Natanui ­ Zabadas.
1Ch 2:36 And Attai begat Nathan, and Nathan begat Zabad,
1Krn 11:12 Po jo galiūnų trejete buvo Dodojo Ahoacho sūnus Eleazaras.
1Ch 11:12 And after him was Eleazar the son of Dodo, the Ahohite, who was one of the three mighties.
Lk 12:33 Išparduokite savo turtą ir išdalykite jį išmaldai. Įsitaisykite sau piniginių, kurios nesusidėvi, kraukite nenykstantį lobį danguje, kur joks vagis neprieis ir kandys nesuės.
Lu 12:33 Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth.
1Sam 17:28 Vyriausias brolis Eliabas išgirdo jį kalbantis su vyrais. Eliabą apėmė pyktis ant Dovydo. Jis tarė: "Ko čia atėjai? Kam palikai anas keletą avių dykumoje? Pažįstu tavo įžūlumą ir nedorą širdį; juk tu atėjai tik mūšio pamatyti! "
1Sa 17:28 And Eliab his eldest brother heard when he spake unto the men; and Eliab's anger was kindled against David, and he said, Why camest thou down hither? and with whom hast thou left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know thy pride, and the naughtiness of thine heart; for thou art come down that thou mightest see the battle.
Ps 98:8 Teploja rankomis upės, iš džiaugsmo drauge tegieda kalnai
Ps 98:8 Let the floods clap their hands: let the hills be joyful together
Iš 32:12 Kam gi egiptiečiai turėtų sakyti: ‘Pikto siekdamas, jis išvedė juos tik išžudyti kalnuose ir išnaikinti nuo žemės paviršiaus’? Nusigręžk nuo savo degančio įniršio, pasigailėk ir nesiųsk nelaimės savo tautai.
Ex 32:12 Wherefore should the Egyptians speak, and say, For mischief did he bring them out, to slay them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth? Turn from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against thy people.
Pr 40:13 Dar trys dienos, ir faraonas pakels tavo galvą ir sugrąžins tave į savo tarnybą. Tu vėl padavinėsi taurę faraonui, kaip kad anksčiau darei, būdamas jo vynininku.
Ge 40:13 Yet within three days shall Pharaoh lift up thine head, and restore thee unto thy place: and thou shalt deliver Pharaoh's cup into his hand, after the former manner when thou wast his butler.
Iz 60:14 Žemai lenkdamiesi, ateis pas tave tavo engėjų sūnūs; visi, kas niekino tave, parpuls tau po kojų. Jie vadins tave "Viešpaties miestu"ir "Izraelio Šventojo Sionu".
Isa 60:14 The sons also of them that afflicted thee shall come bending unto thee; and all they that despised thee shall bow themselves down at the soles of thy feet; and they shall call thee; The city of the LORD, The Zion of the Holy One of Israel.
Ez 12:19 Sakyk krašto žmonėms: ‘Taip kalba Viešpats DIEVAS apie Jeruzalės gyventojus Izraelio žemėje. Jie valgys duoną, apimti baimės, ir gers vandenį, pagauti siaubo, nes jų kraštas bus netekęs įprasto apsto per jo gyventojų nežabotą smurtą.
Eze 12:19 And say unto the people of the land, Thus saith the Lord GOD of the inhabitants of Jerusalem, and of the land of Israel; They shall eat their bread with carefulness, and drink their water with astonishment, that her land may be desolate from all that is therein, because of the violence of all them that dwell therein.
Ps 31:10 Mano gyvenimą sekina skausmas, o mano metus ­ dejonės; nuo kančios man stinga jėgų.
Ps 31:10 For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed.
Koh 3:4 Laikas verkti ir laikas juoktis, laikas gedėti ir laikas šokti.
Ec 3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
Kun 12:8 O jei ji neturi iš ko atnašauti avį, teatnašauja du purplelius ar du balandžius, vieną ­ deginamajai aukai, o kitą ­ aukai už nuodėmę. Kunigas atliks permaldavimą jos labui, ir ji bus švari. ’"
Le 12:8 And if she be not able to bring a lamb, then she shall bring two turtles, or two young pigeons; the one for the burnt offering, and the other for a sin offering: and the priest shall make an atonement for her, and she shall be clean.
Jer 22:2 Sakyk: ‘Judo karaliau, sėdintis Dovydo soste, klausykis Viešpaties žodžio tu pats, tavo dvariškiai ir valdiniai, įeinantys pro šiuos vartus! "
Jer 22:2 And say, Hear the word of the LORD, O king of Judah, that sittest upon the throne of David, thou, and thy servants, and thy people that enter in by these gates:
Lk 15:10 Sakau jums, šitaip džiaugiasi Dievo angelai dėl vieno atsivertusio nusidėjėlio. "
Lu 15:10 Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.

Sanctus Corpus Deus