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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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1Kar 1:36 "Tebūna taip, ­ atsakė Jehojados sūnus Benajas karaliui, ­ tepatvirtina tai Viešpats, mano viešpaties karaliaus Dievas.
1Ki 1:36 And Benaiah the son of Jehoiada answered the king, and said, Amen: the LORD God of my lord the king say so too.
Jn 10:41 Daugelis ėjo pas jį ir kalbėjo: "Jonas, tiesa, nepadarė nė vieno ženklo, bet ką jis pasakė apie šitą žmogų, buvo teisybė. "
Jo 10:41 And many resorted unto him, and said, John did no miracle: but all things that John spake of this man were true.
Ps 35:6 Tebūna jiems kelias tamsus ir slidus, kai Viešpaties angelas persekios!
Ps 35:6 Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the LORD persecute them.
Zch 7:7 Argi tai ne tie patys žodžiai, kuriuos Viešpats skelbė per ankstyvuosius pranašus, kai Jeruzalė ir aplinkiniai miestai buvo pilni žmonių ir klestėjo, kai Negebas ir Šefela buvo pilni gyventojų?
Zec 7:7 Should ye not hear the words which the LORD hath cried by the former prophets, when Jerusalem was inhabited and in prosperity, and the cities thereof round about her, when men inhabited the south and the plain?
Mt 10:25 Pakanka, jei mokinys prilygsta mokytojui ir tarnas šeimininkui. Tad jei šeimos galvą jie praminė Belzebulu, tai ką kalbėti apie namiškius!
Mat 10:25 It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his lord. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of his household?
Pr 44:7 Jie atsakė jam: "Kaip gali mūsų viešpats sakyti tokius dalykus? Tavo tarnai taip jokiu būdu nepasielgtų!
Ge 44:7 And they said unto him, Wherefore saith my lord these words? God forbid that thy servants should do according to this thing:
Lk 8:35 Žmonės išėjo pažiūrėti, kas buvo atsitikę, ir susibūrė prie Jėzaus. Čia jie rado žmogų, iš kurio buvo išėję demonai, sėdintį prie Jėzaus kojų apsirengusį ir sveiko proto, ir nusigando.
Lu 8:35 Then they went out to see what was done; and came to Jesus, and found the man, out of whom the devils were departed, sitting at the feet of Jesus, clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid.
Pat 12:25 Nerimas apsunkina žmogaus širdį, o geras žodis pralinksmina.
Pr 12:25 Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad.
1Kor 14:26 Tad kaip bus, broliai? Kai susirenkate, kiekvienas turi ar giedojimo dovaną, ar pamokymą, ar apreiškimą, ar kalbą, ar aiškinimą. Tegul viskas bus daroma ugdymui.
1C 14:26 How is it then, brethren? when ye come together, every one of you hath a psalm, hath a doctrine, hath a tongue, hath a revelation, hath an interpretation. Let all things be done unto edifying.
Fm 1:18 O jeigu jis yra tau padaręs skriaudą ar turi skolos, įrašyk tai į mano sąskaitą!
Phm 1:18 If he hath wronged thee, or oweth thee ought, put that on mine account;
Ps 77:17 Debesys prapliupo lietumi, padangės aidėjo griausmais, visur žaibavo tavo strėlės.
Ps 77:17 The clouds poured out water: the skies sent out a sound: thine arrows also went abroad.
2Kar 16:20 Ahazas užmigo su savo protėviais ir buvo palaidotas su savo protėviais Dovydo mieste, o vietoj jo karaliumi tapo jo sūnus Ezekijas.
2Ki 16:20 And Ahaz slept with his fathers, and was buried with his fathers in the city of David: and Hezekiah his son reigned in his stead.
Ps 57:8 Pabusk, mano siela! Pabuskite, arfa ir lyra! Aš pažadinsiu aušrą.
Ps 57:8 Awake up, my glory; awake, psaltery and harp: I myself will awake early.
Job 33:17 kad užkirstų kelią žmogui pikta daryti, kad apsaugotų jį nuo puikybės,
Job 33:17 That he may withdraw man from his purpose, and hide pride from man.
Pr 31:31 Jokūbas atsakė Labanui: "Todėl, kad bijojau, nes maniau, jog jėga atimsi iš manęs savo dukteris.
Ge 31:31 And Jacob answered and said to Laban, Because I was afraid: for I said, Peradventure thou wouldest take by force thy daughters from me.
2Krn 7:16 Juk aš išsirinkau ir pašvenčiau šiuos Namus, kad juose amžinai būtų mano vardas. Visada ten bus mano akys ir mano širdis!
2Ch 7:16 For now have I chosen and sanctified this house, that my name may be there for ever: and mine eyes and mine heart shall be there perpetually.
1Kor 14:34 moterys tegul susirinkimuose tyli; kalbėti joms neleidžiama, jos turi būti pavaldžios, kaip skelbia Įstatymas.
1C 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law.
Sk 6:22 Viešpats kalbėjo Mozei, tardamas:
Nu 6:22 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
Mk 13:31 Dangus ir žemė praeis, o mano žodžiai nepraeis.
Mar 13:31 Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away.
Apr 2:12 Pergamo Bažnyčios angelui rašyk: ‘Tai sako tas, kuris turi aštrų dviašmenį kalaviją.
Re 2:12 And to the angel of the church in Pergamos write; These things saith he which hath the sharp sword with two edges;

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