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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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1Sam 12:19 Visi žmonės sakė Samueliui: "Užtark savo tarnus Viešpačiui, mūsų Dievui, kad nenumirtume, nes prie visų savo nuodėmių pridėjome dar ir tą nedorą dalyką: reikalavome karaliaus".
1Sa 12:19 And all the people said unto Samuel, Pray for thy servants unto the LORD thy God, that we die not: for we have added unto all our sins this evil, to ask us a king.
Job 13:12 Jūsų pamokymai ­ kaip pelenai, o jūsų gynyba ­ molio skydas.
Job 13:12 Your remembrances are like unto ashes, your bodies to bodies of clay.
Pr 31:45 Tuomet Jokūbas paėmė akmenį ir pastatė jį kaip paminklą.
Ge 31:45 And Jacob took a stone, and set it up for a pillar.
1Kar 12:31 Jis statė ir šventyklas aukštumų alkuose bei skyrė kunigus iš žmonių, kurie nebuvo kilę iš Levio giminės.
1Ki 12:31 And he made an house of high places, and made priests of the lowest of the people, which were not of the sons of Levi.
Job 21:3 Man kalbant, pakęskite mane, o kai pakalbėsiu, galėsite tyčiotis!
Job 21:3 Suffer me that I may speak; and after that I have spoken, mock on.
1Krn 12:4 galiūnas iš trisdešimtuko ir vienas trisdešimtuko vadų Išmaja Gibeonietis, Jeremija, Jahazielis, Johananas, Jehozabadas Gederietis,
1Ch 12:4 And Ismaiah the Gibeonite, a mighty man among the thirty, and over the thirty; and Jeremiah, and Jahaziel, and Johanan, and Josabad the Gederathite,
Mt 7:4 Arba kaip gali sakyti broliui: ‘Leisk, išimsiu krislą iš tavo akies’, ­ kai tavo akyje rąstas? !
Mat 7:4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
Apr 21:21 Dvylika vartų ­ dvylika perlų, kiekvieni vartai iš vieno perlo. Ir miesto gatvės ­ grynas auksas, tarsi vaiskus stiklas.
Re 21:21 And the twelve gates were twelve pearls: every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass.
Neh 6:1 Kai buvo pranešta Sanbalatui, Tobijai ir arabui Gešemui bei kitiems mūsų priešams, kad aš atstačiau sieną, ir neliko jokių spragų, nors durų į vartus iki to laiko dar nebuvau įstatęs,
Ne 6:1 Now it came to pass when Sanballat, and Tobiah, and Geshem the Arabian, and the rest of our enemies, heard that I had builded the wall, and that there was no breach left therein; (though at that time I had not set up the doors upon the gates;)
Job 2:9 Žmona tarė jam: "Ar dar laikaisi savo dorumo? Keik Dievą ir mirk! "
Job 2:9 Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die.
Ez 45:6 Palei atskirtą šventąją sritį paskirkite penkių tūkstančių uolekčių pločio ir dvidešimt penkių tūkstančių uolekčių ilgio plotą kaip nuosavybę miestui; tai priklausys visiems Izraelio namams.
Eze 45:6 And ye shall appoint the possession of the city five thousand broad, and five and twenty thousand long, over against the oblation of the holy portion: it shall be for the whole house of Israel.
Jn 8:13 Fariziejai jam prikišo: "Tu pats apie save liudiji; tavo liudijimas netikras. "
Jo 8:13 The Pharisees therefore said unto him, Thou bearest record of thyself; thy record is not true.
Ps 60:9 Kas atves mane į įtvirtintą miestą? Kas ves mane į Edomą?
Ps 60:9 Who will bring me into the strong city? who will lead me into Edom?
1Kor 11:11 Bet Viešpatyje nei moteris ką reiškia be vyro, nei vyras be moters.
1C 11:11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.
Apr 10:6 ir prisiekė Gyvuoju per amžių amžius, kuris sutvėrė dangų ir visa, kas jame, žemę ir visa, kas joje, bei jūrą ir visa, kas joje: "Tai bus netrukus!
Re 10:6 And sware by him that liveth for ever and ever, who created heaven, and the things that therein are, and the earth, and the things that therein are, and the sea, and the things which are therein, that there should be time no longer:
Apr 2:8 Smirnos Bažnyčios angelui rašyk: ‘Tai sako Pirmasis ir Paskutinysis, kuris buvo numiręs ir vėl grįžo į gyvenimą.
Re 2:8 And unto the angel of the church in Smyrna write; These things saith the first and the last, which was dead, and is alive;
Iš 1:11 Todėl buvo paskirti prižiūrėtojai engti juos lažo darbais. Jie statė faraonui sandėlių miestus ­ Pitomą ir Ramzį.
Ex 1:11 Therefore they did set over them taskmasters to afflict them with their burdens. And they built for Pharaoh treasure cities, Pithom and Raamses.
Pat 14:2 Kas dorai elgiasi, tas garbina Viešpatį, o kas eina suktais keliais, tas jį niekina.
Pr 14:2 He that walketh in his uprightness feareth the LORD: but he that is perverse in his ways despiseth him.
Lk 15:14 Kai viską išleido, toje šalyje kilo baisus badas, ir jis pradėjo stokoti.
Lu 15:14 And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.
Sk 35:3 Miestai bus jiems gyventi, o miestų ganyklos bus jų gyvuliams ­ galvijams ir visiems kitiems gyvuliams.
Nu 35:3 And the cities shall they have to dwell in; and the suburbs of them shall be for their cattle, and for their goods, and for all their beasts.

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