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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Pr 26:4 Aš padarysiu tavo palikuonis tokius gausius, kaip dangaus žvaigždės, atiduosiu visus šiuos kraštus tavo palikuonims, idant visos tautos per tavo palikuonis gautų palaiminimą
Ge 26:4 And I will make thy seed to multiply as the stars of heaven, and will give unto thy seed all these countries; and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed;
Lk 16:16 Iki Jono buvo Įstatymas ir Pranašai; nuo jo skelbiama geroji naujiena apie Dievo karalystę, ir kiekvienas į ją veržiasi.
Lu 16:16 The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presseth into it.
Jer 2:27 Tie, kurie sako medžio gabalui: ‘Tu ­ mano tėvas! ’ir akmeniui: ‘Tu mane pagimdei! ’, man atgręžė nugarą, o ne veidą, tačiau, bėdai užėjus, šaukia: ‘Ateik ir gelbėk mus! ’
Jer 2:27 Saying to a stock, Thou art my father; and to a stone, Thou hast brought me forth: for they have turned their back unto me, and not their face: but in the time of their trouble they will say, Arise, and save us.
Įst 11:15 jis duos žolės laukuose jūsų galvijams, ir jūs būsite pavalgę iki soties.
De 11:15 And I will send grass in thy fields for thy cattle, that thou mayest eat and be full.
1Tim 2:7 Tam aš esu paskirtasis šauklys ir apaštalas, ­ sakau tiesą, nemeluoju, ­ tikėjimo ir tiesos mokytojas pagonims.
1Ti 2:7 Whereunto I am ordained a preacher, and an apostle, (I speak the truth in Christ, and lie not;) a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and verity.
Ef 5:15 Todėl rūpestingai žiūrėkite, kaip jūs elgiatės, kad nebūtumėte tartum neišmanėliai, bet kaip išmintingi,
Ep 5:15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,
Mk 12:36 Juk pats Dovydas, Šventosios Dvasios įkvėptas, yra pasakęs: Viešpats tarė mano Viešpačiui: Sėskis mano dešinėje, aš patiesiu tavo priešustarsi pakojį po tavo kojų.
Mar 12:36 For David himself said by the Holy Ghost, The LORD said to my Lord, Sit thou on my right hand, till I make thine enemies thy footstool.
Pr 21:28 Tuomet Abraomas atskyrė iš kaimenės septynis ėriukus.
Ge 21:28 And Abraham set seven ewe lambs of the flock by themselves.
Ps 77:13 Visa, ką darai, Dieve, yra šventa. Kuris dievas yra toks didis kaip Dievas?
Ps 77:13 Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God?
Ps 41:11 Tada žinosiu, kad tu man maloningas, kai mano priešas prieš mane nelaimės.
Ps 41:11 By this I know that thou favourest me, because mine enemy doth not triumph over me.
Pr 3:10 Jis atsiliepė: "Išgirdau tave vaikščiojantį sode ir nusigandau, nes buvau nuogas; todėl pasislėpiau. "
Ge 3:10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.
Rom 4:15 Juk įstatymą lydi rūstybė, o kur nėra įstatymo, ten nėra nė nusižengimo.
Ro 4:15 Because the law worketh wrath: for where no law is, there is no transgression.
2Krn 20:2 Juozapatui buvo pranešta: "Didelė kariauna ateina prieš tave iš Edomo, iš anapus jūros. Jie jau pasiekė Hacecon Tamarą, tai yra En Gedį. "
2Ch 20:2 Then there came some that told Jehoshaphat, saying, There cometh a great multitude against thee from beyond the sea on this side Syria; and, behold, they be in Hazazontamar, which is Engedi.
Mk 1:29 Išėjęs iš sinagogos, Jėzus su Jokūbu ir Jonu iškart nuėjo į Simono ir Andriejaus namus.
Mar 1:29 And forthwith, when they were come out of the synagogue, they entered into the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John.
Ps 73:25 Ką kitą turiu danguje? Kadangi turiu tave, ko dar trokščiau žemėje?
Ps 73:25 Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.
Apd 9:22 O Saulius kaskart drąsiau kalbėjo ir kėlė sąmyšį tarp Damaske gyvenančių žydų, įrodinėdamas, kad Jėzus yra Mesijas.
Ac 9:22 But Saul increased the more in strength, and confounded the Jews which dwelt at Damascus, proving that this is very Christ.
Pr 25:8 Jis atsikvėpė paskutinį kartą, mirdamas laimingoje senatvėje, sulaukęs ilgo amžiaus, ir buvo sujungtas su savo gimine.
Ge 25:8 Then Abraham gave up the ghost, and died in a good old age, an old man, and full of years; and was gathered to his people.
Mt 1:16 Jokūbui gimė Juozapas ­ vyras Marijos, iš kurios gimė Jėzus, vadinamas Kristumi.
Mat 1:16 And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.
Apr 20:2 Jis nutvėrė slibiną ­ senąją gyvatę, kuri yra velnias ir šėtonas, surišo jį tūkstančiui metų
Re 20:2 And he laid hold on the dragon, that old serpent, which is the Devil, and Satan, and bound him a thousand years,
Sk 1:9 iš Zabulono ­ Helono sūnus Eliabas;
Nu 1:9 Of Zebulun; Eliab the son of Helon.

Sanctus Corpus Deus