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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Jn 12:16 Iš pradžių mokiniai šito nesuprato, bet, kai Jėzus buvo pašlovintas, atsiminė, kad tai buvo apie jį parašyta ir jie buvo jam tai padarę.
Jo 12:16 These things understood not his disciples at the first: but when Jesus was glorified, then remembered they that these things were written of him, and that they had done these things unto him.
Jn 12:5 "Kodėl to tepalo neparduoda už tris šimtus denarų ir pinigų neatiduoda vargšams? ! "
Jo 12:5 Why was not this ointment sold for three hundred pence, and given to the poor?
Mt 8:4 Jėzus pridūrė: "Žiūrėk, niekam nepasakok, bet eik pasirodyti kunigui ir paaukok Mozės įsakytą atnašą jiems paliudyti. "
Mat 8:4 And Jesus saith unto him, See thou tell no man; but go thy way, shew thyself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them.
Mch 2:6 "Liaukitės pranašavę, ­ skelbia jie, ­tokių dalykų neturite pranašauti! Gėda mūsų neužklups. "
Mic 2:6 Prophesy ye not, say they to them that prophesy: they shall not prophesy to them, that they shall not take shame.
Ps 49:3 Žodžiai, kuriuos tariu, išmintingi, mano širdies kalba kupina įžvalgos.
Ps 49:3 My mouth shall speak of wisdom; and the meditation of my heart shall be of understanding.
Įst 17:14 Kai būsi atėjęs į kraštą, kurį Viešpats, tavo Dievas, duoda tau, ir paveldėjęs jį bei įsikūręs jame, nuspręsi: ‘Pasiskirsiu sau karalių, kaip kad visur daro aplinkinės tautos’,
De 17:14 When thou art come unto the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee, and shalt possess it, and shalt dwell therein, and shalt say, I will set a king over me, like as all the nations that are about me;
Ps 101:3 Į nieką, kas žema, niekada nekreipsiu žvilgsnio; nekęsiu žmogaus, kuris suktai elgiasi, nieko bendra su juo neturėsiu.
Ps 101:3 I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.
Kun 9:22 Aaronas pakėlė rankas žmonių link ir palaimino juos. Paaukojęs auką už nuodėmę, deginamąją auką ir bendravimo auką, jis nulipo žemyn.
Le 9:22 And Aaron lifted up his hand toward the people, and blessed them, and came down from offering of the sin offering, and the burnt offering, and peace offerings.
2Kor 12:17 Bet argi aš kaip nors išnaudojau jus per kurį savo pasiuntinį?
2C 12:17 Did I make a gain of you by any of them whom I sent unto you?
Ps 8:2 Mažylių ir kūdikių lūpomis sukūrei sau šlovęengėjams sugėdinti, kad nutildytum priešą ir maištautoją.
Ps 8:2 Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.
Sk 5:2 "Įsakyk izraelitams išvaryti iš stovyklos kiekvieną raupsuotąjį ar kenčiantį sėklos išsiliejimą ir kiekvieną, tapusį nešvarų dėl prisilietimo prie numirėlio.
Nu 5:2 Command the children of Israel, that they put out of the camp every leper, and every one that hath an issue, and whosoever is defiled by the dead:
Ef 5:12 Juk ką jie slapčia daro, gėda ir sakyti.
Ep 5:12 For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
Įst 13:10 Užmušk jį akmenimis, nes jis stengiasi nuvilioti tave nuo Viešpaties, tavo Dievo, kuris išvedė tave iš Egipto žemės, iš vergijos namų.
De 13:10 And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.
1Kor 7:9 Bet jei negali susilaikyti, tegul tuokiasi. Verčiau tuoktis negu degti.
1C 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
Joz 10:41 Jozuė nugalėjo juos nuo Kadeš Barnėjos ligi Gazos, visą Gošeno kraštą ligi pat Gibeono.
Jos 10:41 And Joshua smote them from Kadeshbarnea even unto Gaza, and all the country of Goshen, even unto Gibeon.
1Kor 6:15 Argi nežinote, kad jūsų kūnai yra Kristaus nariai? Tad nejaugi aš, ėmęs Kristaus narius, paversiu juos kekšės nariais? Nieku būdu!
1C 6:15 Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.
2Kor 7:4 Aš labai pasitikiu jumis, labai jumis giriuosi. Aš kupinas paguodos ir pertekęs džiaugsmo visuose mūsų sielvartuose.
2C 7:4 Great is my boldness of speech toward you, great is my glorying of you: I am filled with comfort, I am exceeding joyful in all our tribulation.
Jer 3:14 "Sugrįžkite, atsimetėliai vaikai, ­ tai Viešpaties žodis, ­nes aš esu jūsų Viešpats. Paimsiu jus po vieną iš miesto, po du iš kilties ir atvesiu į Sioną.
Jer 3:14 Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion:
Žyd 10:26 O jeigu, gavę aiškų tiesos pažinimą, mes sąmoningai darome nuodėmes, tuomet jokios aukos už nuodėmes nebelieka,
He 10:26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,
Lk 2:39 Atlikę visa, ko reikalavo Viešpaties Įstatymas, jie sugrįžo į Galilėją, į savo miestą Nazaretą.
Lu 2:39 And when they had performed all things according to the law of the Lord, they returned into Galilee, to their own city Nazareth.

Sanctus Corpus Deus