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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Sk 7:7 Du vežimus ir keturis jaučius davė Geršono žmonėms pagal jų tarnybą,
Nu 7:7 Two wagons and four oxen he gave unto the sons of Gershon, according to their service:
Ps 37:6 Tavo dorumą jis nušvies kaip dienos šviesą, o tavo teisingumą padarys kaip vidudienį.
Ps 37:6 And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
Sk 5:7 Jie turės išpažinti savo padarytą nuodėmę. Tas žmogus sugrąžins nuskriaustajam visą sumą, pridėdamas viršaus vieną penktadalį.
Nu 5:7 Then they shall confess their sin which they have done: and he shall recompense his trespass with the principal thereof, and add unto it the fifth part thereof, and give it unto him against whom he hath trespassed.
1Sam 18:22 Savo dvariškiams Saulius įsakė: "Šnabždėkite Dovydui į ausį, sakydami: ‘Žiūrėk, karalius tavimi žavisi, o visi jo dvariškiai tave myli. Tad kodėl tau netapti karaliaus žentu? ’"
1Sa 18:22 And Saul commanded his servants, saying, Commune with David secretly, and say, Behold, the king hath delight in thee, and all his servants love thee: now therefore be the king's son in law.
Pat 14:8 Gudraus žmogaus išmintis padeda jam protingai elgtis, o bukapročio kvailumas klaidina jį.
Pr 14:8 The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way: but the folly of fools is deceit.
Mk 6:52 nes visiškai nebuvo supratę duonos stebuklo, ir jų širdis tebebuvo nenuovoki.
Mar 6:52 For they considered not the miracle of the loaves: for their heart was hardened.
Apd 17:28 Juk mes jame gyvename, judame ir esame, kaip yra pasakę kai kurie jūsų poetai: ‘Mes esame iš jo giminės. ’
Ac 17:28 For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring.
1Tes 5:22 Susilaikykite nuo visokio blogio!
1Th 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.
Lk 22:12 Ir jis parodys jums didelį aukštutinį kambarį su baldais. Tenai ir paruoškite. "
Lu 22:12 And he shall shew you a large upper room furnished: there make ready.
1Kor 16:16 Aš prašau, kad ir jūs būtumėte klusnūs tokiems žmonėms ir visiems, kurie su jais dirba ir triūsia.
1C 16:16 That ye submit yourselves unto such, and to every one that helpeth with us, and laboureth.
Įst 8:9 kraštą, kur galėsi valgyti duonos nestokodamas, kur jums nieko netrūks, kraštą su rūdingomis uolomis, iš kurio kalvų galėsi išgauti vario.
De 8:9 A land wherein thou shalt eat bread without scarceness, thou shalt not lack any thing in it; a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills thou mayest dig brass.
Iz 7:20 Tą dienąViešpats skus skustuvu, pasamdytu iš Užupio, Asirijos karaliumi, galvos ir kojų plaukus. Jis nuskus ir barzdą.
Isa 7:20 In the same day shall the Lord shave with a razor that is hired, namely, by them beyond the river, by the king of Assyria, the head, and the hair of the feet: and it shall also consume the beard.
2Kar 6:8 Aramo karalius per karą su Izraeliu tardavosi su savo pareigūnais. "Mes statysimės stovyklą tokioje ir tokioje vietoje", ­ sakydavo jis.
2Ki 6:8 Then the king of Syria warred against Israel, and took counsel with his servants, saying, In such and such a place shall be my camp.
Ps 31:5 Į tavo rankas atiduodu savo dvasią. Tu mane atperki, Viešpatie, ištikimasis Dieve.
Ps 31:5 Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O LORD God of truth.
Iz 7:23 Tą dienąvietos, kur būdavo tūkstančiai vynmedžiųtūkstančio sidabrinių vertės, užžels eržkėčiais ir usnimis.
Isa 7:23 And it shall come to pass in that day, that every place shall be, where there were a thousand vines at a thousand silverlings, it shall even be for briers and thorns.
Įst 28:42 Visi tavo medžiai ir tavo žemės derlius bus vabzdžių grobis.
De 28:42 All thy trees and fruit of thy land shall the locust consume.
Ts 11:12 Tada Iftachas išsiuntė pasiuntinius pas amonitų karalių, tardamas: "Ką tau padariau, kad išėjai į karą prieš mano kraštą? "
Judg 11:12 And Jephthah sent messengers unto the king of the children of Ammon, saying, What hast thou to do with me, that thou art come against me to fight in my land?
Ez 23:22 Todėl, Oholiba, ­ taip kalba Viešpats DIEVAS, ­ sukelsiu prieš tave tavo meilužius, nuo kurių bjaurėdamasi nusigręžei, ir atvesiu juos prieš tave iš visų pusių:
Eze 23:22 Therefore, O Aholibah, thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I will raise up thy lovers against thee, from whom thy mind is alienated, and I will bring them against thee on every side;
Pat 17:15 Kas pateisina nedorėlį ir kas pasmerkia teisųjį, abu lygiai pasibjaurėtini Viešpačiui.
Pr 17:15 He that justifieth the wicked, and he that condemneth the just, even they both are abomination to the LORD.
1Sam 21:8 Tą dieną ten buvo vienas iš Sauliaus pareigūnų, užlaikytas Viešpaties akivaizdoje, vardu Doegas Edomitas. Jis buvo Sauliaus vyriausiasis skerdžius.
1Sa 21:8 And David said unto Ahimelech, And is there not here under thine hand spear or sword? for I have neither brought my sword nor my weapons with me, because the king's business required haste.

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