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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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1Sam 11:1 Nahašas Amonitas atžygiavo ir apgulė Jabeš Gileadą. Jabešo vyrai tarė Nahašui: "Sudaryk su mumis sandorą, ir mes tau tarnausime. "
1Sa 11:1 Then Nahash the Ammonite came up, and encamped against Jabeshgilead: and all the men of Jabesh said unto Nahash, Make a covenant with us, and we will serve thee.
2Kar 18:15 Ezekijas atidavė jam visą sidabrą, esantį Viešpaties Namuose ir karaliaus rūmų ižduose.
2Ki 18:15 And Hezekiah gave him all the silver that was found in the house of the LORD, and in the treasures of the king's house.
2Sam 14:30 Tada Abšalomas tarė savo tarnams: "Žiūrėkite, Joabo laukas šalia mano. Ten jo miežiai. Nueikite ir padekite! " Abšalomo tarnai padegė lauką.
2Sa 14:30 Therefore he said unto his servants, See, Joab's field is near mine, and he hath barley there; go and set it on fire. And Absalom's servants set the field on fire.
Jer 23:8 Bet mieliau bus tariama: ‘Kaip gyvas Viešpats, kuris parvedė Izraelio namų palikuonis iš šiaurės krašto ir iš visų kraštų, kuriuose buvau juos išblaškęs, kad jie vėl gyventų savo pačių žemėje. "
Jer 23:8 But, The LORD liveth, which brought up and which led the seed of the house of Israel out of the north country, and from all countries whither I had driven them; and they shall dwell in their own land.
Joz 10:33 Tada Gezero karalius Horamas atėjo į pagalbą Lachišui, bet Jozuė nugalėjo jį ir jo pajėgas ir nepaliko nė vieno gyvo.
Jos 10:33 Then Horam king of Gezer came up to help Lachish; and Joshua smote him and his people, until he had left him none remaining.
Fil 2:6 Jis, turėdamas Dievo pavidalą, nelaikė grobiu būti lygiam su Dievu,
Phil 2:6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
Apr 10:5 O angelas, kurį mačiau stovint ant jūros ir ant sausumos, pakėlė dešinę ranką į dangų
Re 10:5 And the angel which I saw stand upon the sea and upon the earth lifted up his hand to heaven,
Ez 23:34 Gersi ją ir ištuštinsi, grauši jos šukesir draskysi sau krūtis, nes aš taip pasakiau", ­tai Viešpaties DIEVO žodis.
Eze 23:34 Thou shalt even drink it and suck it out, and thou shalt break the sherds thereof, and pluck off thine own breasts: for I have spoken it, saith the Lord GOD.
2Sam 22:48 Dievas, kuris mane apgynė, pajungė man tautas,
2Sa 22:48 It is God that avengeth me, and that bringeth down the people under me.
Job 14:19 kaip vanduo išgraužia akmenis, kaip staigi liūtis išplauna dirvos žemę, taip tu sunaikini žmogaus viltį.
Job 14:19 The waters wear the stones: thou washest away the things which grow out of the dust of the earth; and thou destroyest the hope of man.
Jl 3:8
Joe 3:8 And I will sell your sons and your daughters into the hand of the children of Judah, and they shall sell them to the Sabeans, to a people far off: for the LORD hath spoken it.
Ps 44:19 nors palikai mus bejėgius šakalų lindynėjeir apgaubei mirtina tamsa.
Ps 44:19 Though thou hast sore broken us in the place of dragons, and covered us with the shadow of death.
Pat 12:20 Širdyse tų, kurie rengia pikta, slypi apgaulė, o duodančių taikingą patarimą ­ džiaugsmas.
Pr 12:20 Deceit is in the heart of them that imagine evil: but to the counsellors of peace is joy.
Joz 14:11 Esu toks pat stiprus, kaip tą dieną, kai Mozė mane siuntė. Kokios tuomet buvo mano jėgos, tokios ir dabar: ir mūšyje, ir išeinant iš namų, ir pareinant į namus.
Jos 14:11 As yet I am as strong this day as I was in the day that Moses sent me: as my strength was then, even so is my strength now, for war, both to go out, and to come in.
Iš 2:9 Faraono duktė tarė jai: "Imk šį kūdikį ir žindyk jį man. Aš tau atsilyginsiu. " Moteris paėmė kūdikį ir žindė.
Ex 2:9 And Pharaoh's daughter said unto her, Take this child away, and nurse it for me, and I will give thee thy wages. And the women took the child, and nursed it.
2Krn 11:15 paskirdamas savo kunigus aukštumų alkams, satyrams ir veršiams, kurių buvo pasidaręs.
2Ch 11:15 And he ordained him priests for the high places, and for the devils, and for the calves which he had made.
Iz 44:8 Nenusigąskite, nebijokite: argi aš jau seniai to nepaskelbiau ir neapreiškiau? Juk jūs mano liudytojai! Ar yra gi kitas Dievas be manęs? Ar yra kokia nors Uola be manęs? "
Isa 44:8 Fear ye not, neither be afraid: have not I told thee from that time, and have declared it? ye are even my witnesses. Is there a God beside me? yea, there is no God; I know not any.
Iz 5:7 Galybių Viešpaties vynuogynas ­Izraelio namai, o daigai, kuriais jis gėrėjosi, ­vyrai iš Judo. Jis laukė teisingumo, ir štai kraujo praliejimas! Jis laukė teisumo, ir štai klyksmas!
Isa 5:7 For the vineyard of the LORD of hosts is the house of Israel, and the men of Judah his pleasant plant: and he looked for judgment, but behold oppression; for righteousness, but behold a cry.
2Krn 34:25 už tai, kad jie paliko mane ir degino smilkalus kitiems dievams, pykdydami mane visais savo rankų darbais; degu pykčiu ant šios vietos, ir jis nebus užgesintas. ’
2Ch 34:25 Because they have forsaken me, and have burned incense unto other gods, that they might provoke me to anger with all the works of their hands; therefore my wrath shall be poured out upon this place, and shall not be quenched.
Jn 8:5 Mozė mums Įstatyme yra liepęs tokias užmušti akmenimis. O tu ką pasakysi? "
Jo 8:5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

Sanctus Corpus Deus