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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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2Krn 23:11 Tada buvo atvestas karaliaus sūnus, uždėtas jam vainikas ir paduoti valdžios ženklai. Jis buvo paskelbtas karaliumi. Jehojada ir jo sūnūs, patepę jį, sušuko: "Tegyvuoja karalius! "
2Ch 23:11 Then they brought out the king's son, and put upon him the crown, and gave him the testimony, and made him king. And Jehoiada and his sons anointed him, and said, God save the king.
2Kar 21:23 Amono dvariškiai surengė sąmokslą ir nužudė karalių jo rūmuose.
2Ki 21:23 And the servants of Amon conspired against him, and slew the king in his own house.
1Kar 2:23 Saliamonas prisiekė Viešpačiu, tardamas: "Dievas man tai tepadaro ir teprideda, jei už šį sumanymą Adonijas neužmokės savo gyvastimi!
1Ki 2:23 Then king Solomon sware by the LORD, saying, God do so to me, and more also, if Adonijah have not spoken this word against his own life.
Iš 33:11 Viešpats kalbėdavosi su Moze veidas į veidą, kaip žmogus kalbasi su savo bičiuliu. Po to jis sugrįždavo į stovyklą, bet jo jaunas padėjėjas Jozuė, Nūno sūnus, nepajudėdavo iš Palapinės.
Ex 33:11 And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend. And he turned again into the camp: but his servant Joshua, the son of Nun, a young man, departed not out of the tabernacle.
Iz 30:20 Viešpats duos jums duonos, kurios jums reikia, ir vandens, kurio trokštate. Daugiau nebesislėps tavo Mokytojas, ir savo akimis jį regėsi.
Isa 30:20 And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not thy teachers be removed into a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy teachers:
Job 30:23 Žinau, nuvesi mane į mirtį ­į namus, skirtus visiems gyviesiems.
Job 30:23 For I know that thou wilt bring me to death, and to the house appointed for all living.
Ps 106:44 Bet jis atsižvelgdavo į jų kančią, kai išgirsdavo jų šauksmą.
Ps 106:44 Nevertheless he regarded their affliction, when he heard their cry:
Pr 25:15 Hadadas, Tema, Jetūras, Nafišas ir Kedma.
Ge 25:15 Hadar, and Tema, Jetur, Naphish, and Kedemah:
Jer 37:21 Karalius Zedekijas davė įsakymą Jeremiją uždaryti sargybos kiemo būste ir kasdien iš Kepėjų gatvės jam duoti kepalą duonos, kol duona mieste visiškai išsibaigs. Jeremijas taip ir liko sargybos kiemo būste.
Jer 37:21 Then Zedekiah the king commanded that they should commit Jeremiah into the court of the prison, and that they should give him daily a piece of bread out of the bakers' street, until all the bread in the city were spent. Thus Jeremiah remained in the court of the prison.
1Sam 18:7 Džiūgaudamos moterys dainavo ir sakė: "Saulius užmušė tūkstančius, o Dovydas ­ dešimtis tūkstančių! "
1Sa 18:7 And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.
Jn 5:29 Kurie darė gera, prisikels gyventi, kurie darė bloga, prisikels stoti į teismą.
Jo 5:29 And shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the resurrection of life; and they that have done evil, unto the resurrection of damnation.
1Sam 4:22 "Šlovė pasitraukė iš Izraelio, ­ sakė ji, ­ nes Dievo Skrynia pagrobta. "
1Sa 4:22 And she said, The glory is departed from Israel: for the ark of God is taken.
Apr 10:3 Paskui ėmė šaukti galingu balsu tartum riaumojantis liūtas. Kai jis sušuko, atsiliepė septyni griaustiniai savais balsais.
Re 10:3 And cried with a loud voice, as when a lion roareth: and when he had cried, seven thunders uttered their voices.
Ps 13:1 Choro vadovui. Dovydo psalmė.
Ps 13:1 How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?
2Krn 20:23 Amono ir Moabo vyrai užpuolė Seyro aukštumų gyventojus ir visiškai juos sunaikino. Susidoroję su Seyro gyventojais, jie pradėjo naikinti vieni kitus.
2Ch 20:23 For the children of Ammon and Moab stood up against the inhabitants of mount Seir, utterly to slay and destroy them: and when they had made an end of the inhabitants of Seir, every one helped to destroy another.
Ez 7:6 Atėjo galas! Atėjo tikras galas! Jis pakilo prieš tave. Žiūrėk, jis ateina!
Eze 7:6 An end is come, the end is come: it watcheth for thee; behold, it is come.
Ps 74:14 Tu sutraiškei Leviatanąir pašėrei jo kūnu tyrų žvėris.
Ps 74:14 Thou brakest the heads of leviathan in pieces, and gavest him to be meat to the people inhabiting the wilderness.
Įst 10:21 Jis tavo gyrius. Jis tavo Dievas, padaręs šiuos nuostabius ir baisius darbus, kuriuos matei savo akimis.
De 10:21 He is thy praise, and he is thy God, that hath done for thee these great and terrible things, which thine eyes have seen.
Sk 25:14 Užmuštasis izraelitas, užmuštas drauge su midjaniete, buvo Saluvo sūnus Zimris, Simeono giminei priklausančių protėvių namų galva,
Nu 25:14 Now the name of the Israelite that was slain, even that was slain with the Midianitish woman, was Zimri, the son of Salu, a prince of a chief house among the Simeonites.
Ps 149:9 vykdydami teismo sprendimą. Tai garbė Dievo tautai! Šlovinkite Viešpatį!
Ps 149:9 To execute upon them the judgment written: this honour have all his saints. Praise ye the LORD.

Sanctus Corpus Deus