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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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1Krn 11:17 Dovydas ilgesingai prasitarė: "O kad turėčiau bent gurkšnį vandens iš Betliejaus talpyklos ­ iš tos prie vartų! "
1Ch 11:17 And David longed, and said, Oh that one would give me drink of the water of the well of Bethlehem, that is at the gate!
Pr 20:10 Ką gi tu galvojai, ­ klausė Abimelechas, ­ darydamas tokį dalyką? "
Ge 20:10 And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What sawest thou, that thou hast done this thing?
Iš 14:24 Atėjus ryto sargybos metui, Viešpats metė žvilgsnį į egiptiečių kariuomenę iš ugnies ir debesies stulpo ir sukėlė klaiką egiptiečių gretose.
Ex 14:24 And it came to pass, that in the morning watch the LORD looked unto the host of the Egyptians through the pillar of fire and of the cloud, and troubled the host of the Egyptians,
Jer 23:15 Todėl taip kalba Galybių Viešpats apie pranašus: "Štai maitinsiu juos metėlėmisir girdysiu juos vandeniu su nuodais, nes iš Jeruzalės pranašųbedievybė pasklido po visą kraštą. "
Jer 23:15 Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts concerning the prophets; Behold, I will feed them with wormwood, and make them drink the water of gall: for from the prophets of Jerusalem is profaneness gone forth into all the land.
Mk 8:13 Ir, palikęs juos, jis vėl sėdo į valtį ir nuplaukė į kitą krantą.
Mar 8:13 And he left them, and entering into the ship again departed to the other side.
Dan 12:5 Tuomet aš, Danielius, pažvelgiau ir pamačiau dar du vyrus: vieną ­ ant šio upės kranto, kitą ­ ant ano.
Da 12:5 Then I Daniel looked, and, behold, there stood other two, the one on this side of the bank of the river, and the other on that side of the bank of the river.
Am 4:5 Deginkite neraugintos duonos bendravimo auką, skelbkite plačiai gera valia daromas atnašas, nes taip jūs mėgstate daryti, izraelitai, ­tai Viešpaties DIEVO žodis.
Am 4:5 And offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving with leaven, and proclaim and publish the free offerings: for this liketh you, O ye children of Israel, saith the Lord GOD.
Kun 2:12 Jas galite atnešti Viešpačiui kaip pirmienų atnašas, tačiau ant aukuro jos nebus dedamos, kad duotų malonų kvapą.
Le 2:12 As for the oblation of the firstfruits, ye shall offer them unto the LORD: but they shall not be burnt on the altar for a sweet savour.
2Krn 3:14 Saliamonas pagamino užuolaidą iš mėlynos, violetinės bei tamsiai raudonos spalvos siūlų ir plonos drobės su joje išsiuvinėtais kerubais.
2Ch 3:14 And he made the vail of blue, and purple, and crimson, and fine linen, and wrought cherubims thereon.
Ps 24:8 Kas gi tas Garbės karalius? Tai Viešpats, stiprus ir narsus, Viešpats, galingas mūšyje.
Ps 24:8 Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.
Ps 89:16 Visą dieną jie džiūgauja dėl tavo vardo, ir tavo teisumas juos išaukštino.
Ps 89:16 In thy name shall they rejoice all the day: and in thy righteousness shall they be exalted.
Rom 1:21 Pažinę Dievą, jie negarbino jo kaip Dievo ir jam nedėkojo, bet tuščiai svarstydami paklydo, ir neišmani jų širdis aptemo.
Ro 1:21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
Jer 15:10 Vargas man, motina mano, kad pagimdei mane ­žmogų, kuris kaltina ir teisia visą kraštą! Aš nei kam skolinau, nei esu kam skolingas, tačiau visi mane keikia.
Jer 15:10 Woe is me, my mother, that thou hast borne me a man of strife and a man of contention to the whole earth! I have neither lent on usury, nor men have lent to me on usury; yet every one of them doth curse me.
Ps 17:1 Dovydo malda. Klausykis, Viešpatie, kaip maldauju teisybės, atsižvelk į mano šauksmą! Išgirsk mano maldą iš lūpų be vyliaus!
Ps 17:1 Hear the right, O LORD, attend unto my cry, give ear unto my prayer, that goeth not out of feigned lips.
Apd 26:7 Jo išsipildant tikisi sulaukti mūsų dvylikos giminių tauta, stropiai tarnaudama Dievui dieną ir naktį. Dėl šios vilties, karaliau, ir įskundė mane žydai.
Ac 26:7 Unto which promise our twelve tribes, instantly serving God day and night, hope to come. For which hope's sake, king Agrippa, I am accused of the Jews.
Fil 4:14 Vis dėlto jūs gerai padarėte, bendraudami su manimi varge.
Phil 4:14 Notwithstanding ye have well done, that ye did communicate with my affliction.
Ez 8:3 Jis ištiesė lyg ranką ir paėmė mane už galvos garbanos. Dvasia pakėlė mane tarp žemės ir dangaus ir Dievo regėjimais nunešė į Jeruzalę, prie vidinio kiemo šiaurinių vartų; ten buvo pastatytas pavydo stabas, kuris žadina pavydą .
Eze 8:3 And he put forth the form of an hand, and took me by a lock of mine head; and the spirit lifted me up between the earth and the heaven, and brought me in the visions of God to Jerusalem, to the door of the inner gate that looketh toward the north; where was the seat of the image of jealousy, which provoketh to jealousy.
2Sam 17:22 Dovydas ir visi su juo buvę žmonės tuojau pat leidosi į kelionę ir perėjo Jordaną. Iki aušros nebuvo likę nė vieno, neperėjusio Jordano.
2Sa 17:22 Then David arose, and all the people that were with him, and they passed over Jordan: by the morning light there lacked not one of them that was not gone over Jordan.
Jer 39:11 O dėl Jeremijo Babilono karalius Nebukadnecaras buvo davęs karaliaus asmens sargybos vadui Nebuzaradanui tokį įsakymą:
Jer 39:11 Now Nebuchadrezzar king of Babylon gave charge concerning Jeremiah to Nebuzaradan the captain of the guard, saying,
Ps 81:3 Pūskite ragą ir kai jaunatis, ir kai pilnatis ­mūsų šventės dienomis.
Ps 81:3 Blow up the trumpet in the new moon, in the time appointed, on our solemn feast day.

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