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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Jer 35:16 Taip, Rechabo sūnaus Jehonadabo vaikai laikėsi įsakymo, kurį jiems davė jų protėvis, bet ši tauta manęs nepaklausė!
Jer 35:16 Because the sons of Jonadab the son of Rechab have performed the commandment of their father, which he commanded them; but this people hath not hearkened unto me:
Job 42:5 Buvau girdėjęs gandus apie tave, bet dabar mano akys mato tave;
Job 42:5 I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.
Zch 9:3 Tyras pasistatė tvirtovę, prisikrovė sidabro kaip dulkiųir aukso kaip gatvių purvo.
Zec 9:3 And Tyrus did build herself a strong hold, and heaped up silver as the dust, and fine gold as the mire of the streets.
1Kor 4:1 Tegul žmonės laiko mus Kristaus tarnais ir Dievo slėpinių prievaizdais.
1C 4:1 Let a man so account of us, as of the ministers of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God.
1Krn 6:16 Levio sūnūs: Geršomas, Kehatas ir Meraris.
1Ch 6:16 The sons of Levi; Gershom, Kohath, and Merari.
Iš 12:45 Įnamys ir samdytas tarnas jo nevalgys.
Ex 12:45 A foreigner and an hired servant shall not eat thereof.
Lk 21:23 Vargas nėščioms ir žindančioms tomis dienomis! Baisi nelemtis užklups kraštą ir rūstybė šią tautą.
Lu 21:23 But woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck, in those days! for there shall be great distress in the land, and wrath upon this people.
Pr 26:22 Jis iš ten išsikėlė ir išsikasė dar vieną šulinį. Dėl jo jie nebesiginčijo. Užtat pavadino jį Rehobotais, sakydamas: "Šį kartą Viešpats davė mums šiame krašte apsčiai vietos daugintis. "
Ge 26:22 And he removed from thence, and digged another well; and for that they strove not: and he called the name of it Rehoboth; and he said, For now the LORD hath made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.
Ts 2:9 ir buvo palaidotas savo paveldo žemėje prie Timnat Hereso, Efraimo aukštumose į šiaurę nuo Gaašo kalno.
Judg 2:9 And they buried him in the border of his inheritance in Timnathheres, in the mount of Ephraim, on the north side of the hill Gaash.
Job 27:21 Rytų vėjas pakelia jį ir nuneša toli, išplėšia jį iš buveinės.
Job 27:21 The east wind carrieth him away, and he departeth: and as a storm hurleth him out of his place.
Lk 23:33 Atėję į vietą, kuri vadinasi "Kaukolė", jie prikalė ant kryžiaus Jėzų ir du piktadarius ­ vieną jam iš dešinės, antrą iš kairės.
Lu 23:33 And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left.
Ts 9:54 Šis tučtuojau pasišaukė ginklanešį ir tarė jam: "Išsitrauk iš makšties kalaviją ir užmušk mane, kad žmonės apie mane nesakytų: ‘Moteris jį užmušė! ’" Vaikinas perdūrė jį kalaviju, ir jis numirė.
Judg 9:54 Then he called hastily unto the young man his armourbearer, and said unto him, Draw thy sword, and slay me, that men say not of me, A women slew him. And his young man thrust him through, and he died.
2Sam 17:6 Hušajui atėjus, Abšalomas tarė: "Šitaip kalbėjo Ahitofelis. Ar darysime, kaip jis pataria? Jeigu ne, ką tu sakai? " ­
2Sa 17:6 And when Hushai was come to Absalom, Absalom spake unto him, saying, Ahithophel hath spoken after this manner: shall we do after his saying? if not; speak thou.
Job 8:9 Juk mes patys ­ lyg vakar užgimęir nieko nežinome. Mūsų dienos žemėje ­ tik šešėlis!
Job 8:9 (For we are but of yesterday, and know nothing, because our days upon earth are a shadow:)
1Sam 7:2 Praslinko daug laiko ­ dvidešimt metų ­ nuo tos dienos, kai Skrynia buvo įkurdinta Kirjat Jearimuose. Visi Izraelio namai ilgėjosi Viešpaties.
1Sa 7:2 And it came to pass, while the ark abode in Kirjathjearim, that the time was long; for it was twenty years: and all the house of Israel lamented after the LORD.
Apd 18:24 Tuo tarpu vienas žydas, vardu Apolas, kilęs iš Aleksandrijos, atvyko į Efezą. Tai buvo iškalbingas vyras, puikiai išmanantis Raštus.
Ac 18:24 And a certain Jew named Apollos, born at Alexandria, an eloquent man, and mighty in the scriptures, came to Ephesus.
Ts 19:6 Taigi juodu susėdo vaišintis ir gerti. Merginos tėvas vyrui sakė: "Prašau būti mano svečiu. Pernakvok ir pasidžiauk! "
Judg 19:6 And they sat down, and did eat and drink both of them together: for the damsel's father had said unto the man, Be content, I pray thee, and tarry all night, and let thine heart be merry.
Lk 5:16 O jis traukdavosi į nuošalesnes vietas melstis.
Lu 5:16 And he withdrew himself into the wilderness, and prayed.
1Kar 2:29 Kai Saliamonui buvo pranešta: "Joabas nubėgo į Viešpaties Padangtę ir yra ten šalia aukuro", ­ Saliamonas pasiuntė Jehojados sūnų Benają, tardamas: "Eik ir paguldyk jį! "
1Ki 2:29 And it was told king Solomon that Joab was fled unto the tabernacle of the LORD; and, behold, he is by the altar. Then Solomon sent Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, saying, Go, fall upon him.
Pat 14:6 Pašaipūnas mėgina būti sumanus, bet negali, o žmogus, kuris suvokia, lengvai įgyja išmanymo.
Pr 14:6 A scorner seeketh wisdom, and findeth it not: but knowledge is easy unto him that understandeth.

Sanctus Corpus Deus