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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Ps 65:11 Apvainikuoji metus savo gerumo derliumi; tavo vežimų provėžos trykšta aliejumi;
Ps 65:11 Thou crownest the year with thy goodness; and thy paths drop fatness.
1Tes 5:5 Juk jūs visi esate šviesos vaikai, dienos vaikai. Mes nepriklausome nakčiai nei tamsai.
1Th 5:5 Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness.
1Sam 16:16 Prašome mūsų viešpatį paliepti, ir tau tarnaujantys dvariškiai paieškos žmogaus, mokančio groti lyra. Kai tik apims tave pikta dvasia iš Dievo, jis grotų, ir tu geriau jaustumeis. "
1Sa 16:16 Let our lord now command thy servants, which are before thee, to seek out a man, who is a cunning player on an harp: and it shall come to pass, when the evil spirit from God is upon thee, that he shall play with his hand, and thou shalt be well.
Jl 2:20 Kariauną iš šiaurės nutolinsiu nuo jūsų, išvarysiu ją į išdegintą ir apleistą kraštą, jos priekinius spiečius ­ į Rytų jūrą, o užpakalinius spiečius ­ į Vakarų jūrą. Nuo jos kils dvokas, sklis puvėsių kvapas, nes ji išdrįso išdidžiai elgtis!
Joe 2:20 But I will remove far off from you the northern army, and will drive him into a land barren and desolate, with his face toward the east sea, and his hinder part toward the utmost sea, and his stink shall come up, and his ill savour shall come up, because he hath done great things.
2Kor 7:2 Atverkite mums savo širdis! Juk mes nė vienam nepadarėme skriaudos, nė vieno nesužlugdėme, nė vieno neapgavome.
2C 7:2 Receive us; we have wronged no man, we have corrupted no man, we have defrauded no man.
Job 13:18 Štai parengiau savo byląir žinau, kad būsiu išteisintas.
Job 13:18 Behold now, I have ordered my cause; I know that I shall be justified.
Iz 30:20 Viešpats duos jums duonos, kurios jums reikia, ir vandens, kurio trokštate. Daugiau nebesislėps tavo Mokytojas, ir savo akimis jį regėsi.
Isa 30:20 And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity, and the water of affliction, yet shall not thy teachers be removed into a corner any more, but thine eyes shall see thy teachers:
Iš 37:18 Šešios šakos ėjo iš jos šonų: trys šakos ­ iš vieno šono ir trys šakos ­ iš kito.
Ex 37:18 And six branches going out of the sides thereof; three branches of the candlestick out of the one side thereof, and three branches of the candlestick out of the other side thereof:
Ezd 2:15 Adino palikuonių keturi šimtai penkiasdešimt keturi,
Ezr 2:15 The children of Adin, four hundred fifty and four.
1Sam 28:24 Moteris turėjo namuose penimą veršiuką. Skubiai jį papjovė. Paėmusi miltų, užminkė ir iškepė neraugintų plokštainių.
1Sa 28:24 And the woman had a fat calf in the house; and she hasted, and killed it, and took flour, and kneaded it, and did bake unleavened bread thereof:
Ps 109:19 Tebūna kaip drabužis, kuriuo jis apsidengia, kaip juosta, kurią kasdien nešioja!
Ps 109:19 Let it be unto him as the garment which covereth him, and for a girdle wherewith he is girded continually.
Rom 11:2 Dievas neatstūmė savosios tautos, kurią iš anksto yra numatęs. Ar nežinote, ką sako Raštas apie Eliją, kai šis skundžiasi Dievui Izraeliu:
Ro 11:2 God hath not cast away his people which he foreknew. Wot ye not what the scripture saith of Elias? how he maketh intercession to God against Israel saying,
Įst 30:5 Viešpats, tavo Dievas, parves tave atgal į kraštą, kurį paveldėjo tavo protėviai, ir tu jį paveldėsi; jis padarys tave sėkmingesnį, gausesnį už protėvius.
De 30:5 And the LORD thy God will bring thee into the land which thy fathers possessed, and thou shalt possess it; and he will do thee good, and multiply thee above thy fathers.
Ts 9:10 Tada medžiai tarė figmedžiui: ‘Ateik ir būk mūsų karalius! ’
Judg 9:10 And the trees said to the fig tree, Come thou, and reign over us.
Sk 14:24 Bet savo tarną Kalebą, kadangi jis buvo įkvėptas kitokios dvasios ir liko man ištikimas, aš įvesiu į kraštą, į kurį jis buvo nuėjęs, ir jo palikuonys jį paveldės.
Nu 14:24 But my servant Caleb, because he had another spirit with him, and hath followed me fully, him will I bring into the land whereinto he went; and his seed shall possess it.
Job 41:24 Jo širdis tvirtai nulieta kaip akmuo, kieta kaip apatinė girnapusė.
Job 41:24 His heart is as firm as a stone; yea, as hard as a piece of the nether millstone.
Iz 44:5 Vieni sakys: ‘Aš esu Viešpaties! ’ ­kiti vadinsis Jokūbo vardu, o dar kiti ant rankos užsirašys ‘Viešpaties’ir didžiuosis Izraelio vardu. "
Isa 44:5 One shall say, I am the LORD's; and another shall call himself by the name of Jacob; and another shall subscribe with his hand unto the LORD, and surname himself by the name of Israel.
2Kar 1:4 Todėl Viešpats taip kalbėjo: ‘Iš lovos, į kurią atgulei, neišlipsi ir turėsi mirti. ’" Tai pasakęs, Elijas nuėjo.
2Ki 1:4 Now therefore thus saith the LORD, Thou shalt not come down from that bed on which thou art gone up, but shalt surely die. And Elijah departed.
Ps 132:11 Viešpats prisiekė Dovyduiir neatsižadės: "Padarysiu vieną tavo sūnų karaliumi, ir jis po tavęs viešpataus.
Ps 132:11 The LORD hath sworn in truth unto David; he will not turn from it; Of the fruit of thy body will I set upon thy throne.
Joz 18:24 Kefar Amona, Ofnis ir Geba ­ dvylika miestų ir jiems pavaldžios gyvenvietės,
Jos 18:24 And Chepharhaammonai, and Ophni, and Gaba; twelve cities with their villages:

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