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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Gg 6:1 [Choras: ] Kur nuėjo tavo mylimasis, o gražiausioji iš moterų? Kuriuo keliu pasuko tavo mylimasis, kad galėtume jo ieškoti kartu su tavimi?
SS 6:1 Whither is thy beloved gone, O thou fairest among women? whither is thy beloved turned aside? that we may seek him with thee.
Jer 1:19 Su tavimi jie kovos, bet neįveiks tavęs, nes aš esu su tavimi, kad tave išgelbėčiau", ­tai Viešpaties žodis.
Jer 1:19 And they shall fight against thee; but they shall not prevail against thee; for I am with thee, saith the LORD, to deliver thee.
Ps 86:10 Juk tu didis ir darai nuostabius darbus; tu vienas esi Dievas.
Ps 86:10 For thou art great, and doest wondrous things: thou art God alone.
Mal 2:13 Ir jūs tai darote: verkdami ir dūsaudami jūs laistote ašaromis Viešpaties aukurą dėl to, kad jis atsisako pažvelgti į jūsų auką ar maloniai priimti ją iš jūsų rankų.
Mal 2:13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.
Ps 46:6 Siautėja tautos, griūva karalystės, pasigirdus jo griausmui, apmiršta žemė.
Ps 46:6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.
Jer 19:2 nueik į Ben Hinomo slėnį prie pat Šukių vartų. Ten paskelbk žodžius, kuriuos tau sakau.
Jer 19:2 And go forth unto the valley of the son of Hinnom, which is by the entry of the east gate, and proclaim there the words that I shall tell thee,
Ez 21:1 Mane pasiekė Viešpaties žodis:
Eze 21:1 And the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,
Sk 11:9 Naktį, krintant rasai, su ja iškrisdavo ir mana.
Nu 11:9 And when the dew fell upon the camp in the night, the manna fell upon it.
Ez 7:22 Nugręšiu nuo jų savo veidą, ir jie išniekins mano brangiąją vietą; niekšai įžengs į ją ir išniekins.
Eze 7:22 My face will I turn also from them, and they shall pollute my secret place: for the robbers shall enter into it, and defile it.
Apr 6:14 Dangus atitrūko tarsi besivyniojantis knygos ritinys, ir visi kalnai ir salos buvo išjudinti iš savo vietų.
Re 6:14 And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together; and every mountain and island were moved out of their places.
Oz 6:3 Pažinkime, veržkimės pažinti Viešpatį! Tikrai jis ateis pas mus, kaip tikrai ateina aušra; jis ateis pas mus kaip lietus, kaip vėlyvieji lietūs, pagirdantys žemę. ’
Ho 6:3 Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the LORD: his going forth is prepared as the morning; and he shall come unto us as the rain, as the latter and former rain unto the earth.
Lk 2:10 bet angelas jiems tarė: "Nebijokite! Štai aš skelbiu jums gerąją naujieną, kuri bus visai tautai.
Lu 2:10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
2Pt 1:19 Mes turime tvirčiausią pranašų žodį. Jūs gerai darote, laikydamiesi jo tarsi žiburio, šviečiančio tamsioje vietoje, kol išauš diena ir jūsų širdyse užtekės aušrinė.
2P 1:19 We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts:
1Kar 8:64 Tą pačią dieną karalius pašventino kiemo vidurį, kuris buvo Viešpaties Namų priekyje. Ten jis atnašavo deginamąsias aukas, javų atnašas ir bendravimo aukų riebiąsias dalis, nes vario aukuras, stovintis Viešpaties akivaizdoje, buvo per mažas sutalpinti deginamąsias aukas, javų atnašas ir bendravimo aukų riebiąsias atnašas.
1Ki 8:64 The same day did the king hallow the middle of the court that was before the house of the LORD: for there he offered burnt offerings, and meat offerings, and the fat of the peace offerings: because the brasen altar that was before the LORD was too little to receive the burnt offerings, and meat offerings, and the fat of the peace offerings.
Kun 14:14 Tada kunigas paims kaltės atnašos kraujo ir pavilgys juo žmogaus, kuris turi būti apvalytas, dešinės ausies lezgelį, dešinės rankos nykštį ir dešinės kojos nykštį.
Le 14:14 And the priest shall take some of the blood of the trespass offering, and the priest shall put it upon the tip of the right ear of him that is to be cleansed, and upon the thumb of his right hand, and upon the great toe of his right foot:
Jer 39:9 Galų gale karaliaus asmens sargybos vadas Nebuzaradanas išvarė į Babilono tremtį gyventojus, išlikusius mieste, drauge su perbėgusiais pas jį ir įgudusių amatininkų likučiais.
Jer 39:9 Then Nebuzaradan the captain of the guard carried away captive into Babylon the remnant of the people that remained in the city, and those that fell away, that fell to him, with the rest of the people that remained.
Jn 6:58 Štai duona, nužengusi iš dangaus! Ji ne tokia, kokią protėviai valgė ir mirė. Kas valgo šią duoną ­ gyvens per amžius. "
Jo 6:58 This is that bread which came down from heaven: not as your fathers did eat manna, and are dead: he that eateth of this bread shall live for ever.
Apd 12:13 Jis pasibeldė į lauko duris. Tarnaitė, vardu Rodė, nuėjo paklausti, kas ten.
Ac 12:13 And as Peter knocked at the door of the gate, a damsel came to hearken, named Rhoda.
Žyd 1:13 Ar kuriam iš angelų jis yra kada nors pasakęs: Sėskis mano dešinėje, aš patiesiu tavo priešustarsi pakojį po tavo kojų?
He 1:13 But to which of the angels said he at any time, Sit on my right hand, until I make thine enemies thy footstool?
Fil 1:30 kovojantiems tokią pat kovą, kokią matėte mane kovojant ir apie kokią dabar girdite, jog aš kovoju.
Phil 1:30 Having the same conflict which ye saw in me, and now hear to be in me.

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