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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Job 19:19 Mano artimiausi bičiuliai šlykštisi manimi; tie, kuriuos mylėjau, atsuko man nugaras.
Job 19:19 All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.
Jn 17:25 Teisingasis Tėve, pasaulis tavęs nepažino, o aš tave pažinau. Ir šitie pažino, jog tu mane atsiuntei.
Jo 17:25 O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee: but I have known thee, and these have known that thou hast sent me.
Job 34:2 "Klausykitės, išminčiai, mano žodžių, ištempkite, žinovai, savo ausis.
Job 34:2 Hear my words, O ye wise men; and give ear unto me, ye that have knowledge.
Jer 11:21 Todėl taip kalba Viešpats Anatoto žmonėms, besistengiantiems mane užmušti ir sakantiems: "Nepranašauk Viešpaties vardu, jeigu nenori mirti nuo mūsų rankos. "
Jer 11:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD of the men of Anathoth, that seek thy life, saying, Prophesy not in the name of the LORD, that thou die not by our hand:
Iz 37:35 Aš apginsiu jį dėl savęs ir dėl savo tarno Dovydo. "
Isa 37:35 For I will defend this city to save it for mine own sake, and for my servant David's sake.
Nah 3:10 Tačiau jis buvo ištremtas ir išėjo į nelaisvę; net jo mažyliai buvo ištaškytiprie kiekvieno gatvės kampo; burtai buvo mesti ir dėl jo kilmingųjų, ir visi didikai buvo surakinti grandinėmis.
Na 3:10 Yet was she carried away, she went into captivity: her young children also were dashed in pieces at the top of all the streets: and they cast lots for her honourable men, and all her great men were bound in chains.
Ezd 2:44 Keros palikuonys, Siachos palikuonys, Padono palikuonys,
Ezr 2:44 The children of Keros, the children of Siaha, the children of Padon,
Žyd 4:11 Tad stenkimės įžengti į aną atilsį, kad niekas nebenupultų, sekdamas neklusniųjų pavyzdžiu.
He 4:11 Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.
Iš 21:30 Tačiau jei savininkui būtų leista išsipirkti, jis sumokės tiek, kiek uždėta jo gyvybei išpirkti.
Ex 21:30 If there be laid on him a sum of money, then he shall give for the ransom of his life whatsoever is laid upon him.
Job 41:31 Jis priverčia gelmę kunkuliuoti tarsi katilą, sumaišo jūrą it smilkyklę.
Job 41:31 He maketh the deep to boil like a pot: he maketh the sea like a pot of ointment.
Ez 45:21 Pirmo mėnesio keturioliktą dieną švęsite Paschos iškilmę, ir septynių dienų šventėje bus valgoma nerauginta duona.
Eze 45:21 In the first month, in the fourteenth day of the month, ye shall have the passover, a feast of seven days; unleavened bread shall be eaten.
2Kar 10:7 Kai juos pasiekė laiškas, jie paėmė karaliaus sūnus ir visus septyniasdešimt nužudė. Sudėję jų galvas į pintines, nusiuntė į Jezreelį.
2Ki 10:7 And it came to pass, when the letter came to them, that they took the king's sons, and slew seventy persons, and put their heads in baskets, and sent him them to Jezreel.
Įst 1:23 Sutikau su jūsų pasiūlymu ir parinkau iš jūsų dvylika ­ po vieną iš kiekvienos giminės.
De 1:23 And the saying pleased me well: and I took twelve men of you, one of a tribe:
Mt 25:6 Vidurnaktį pasigirdo balsai: "Štai jaunikis! Išeikite pasitikti! "
Mat 25:6 And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.
2Krn 18:27 Michėjas tarė: "Jeigu ramybėje sugrįši, Viešpats per mane nekalbėjo! " Jis dar pridūrė: "Klausykitės, visos tautos! "
2Ch 18:27 And Micaiah said, If thou certainly return in peace, then hath not the LORD spoken by me. And he said, Hearken, all ye people.
Jer 3:9 Iš tikrųjų savo palinkimu ištvirkauti ji suteršė kraštą, svetimaudama su akmenimis ir medžio gabalais.
Jer 3:9 And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks.
Jer 27:16 Kunigams ir visai tautai taip sakau: ‘Taip kalba Viešpats. Neklausykite žodžių savo pranašų, kurie jums pranašauja: ‘Viešpaties Namų indai jau netrukus bus sugrąžinti iš Babilono’, ­ nes ką jie pranašauja ­ melas.
Jer 27:16 Also I spake to the priests and to all this people, saying, Thus saith the LORD; Hearken not to the words of your prophets that prophesy unto you, saying, Behold, the vessels of the LORD's house shall now shortly be brought again from Babylon: for they prophesy a lie unto you.
Apd 16:33 Tą pačią nakties valandą jis pasiėmė juos su savimi, nuplovė jų žaizdas ir nedelsdamas kartu su visais savaisiais priėmė krikštą.
Ac 16:33 And he took them the same hour of the night, and washed their stripes; and was baptized, he and all his, straightway.
Įst 28:27 Viešpats ištiks tave Egipto pūliniais, augliais, dedervine ir niežais, nuo kurių neišsigydysi.
De 28:27 The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed.
1Kor 12:2 Kai dar buvote pagonys, kaip žinote, jus traukte traukė prie nebylių stabų.
1C 12:2 Ye know that ye were Gentiles, carried away unto these dumb idols, even as ye were led.

Sanctus Corpus Deus