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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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1Sam 26:13 Perėjęs į kitą šlaitą, Dovydas atsistojo ant tolimos kalvos viršūnės. Tarp jų buvo didelis nuotolis.
1Sa 26:13 Then David went over to the other side, and stood on the top of an hill afar off; a great space being between them:
Ps 32:2 Laimingas žmogus, kurio Viešpats nelaiko kaltu, kurio dvasioje nėra apgaulės.
Ps 32:2 Blessed is the man unto whom the LORD imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile.
2Kar 3:1 Aštuonioliktais Judo karaliaus Juozapato metais Ahabo sūnus Jehoramas tapo Izraelio karaliumi Samarijoje ir karaliavo dvylika metų.
2Ki 3:1 Now Jehoram the son of Ahab began to reign over Israel in Samaria the eighteenth year of Jehoshaphat king of Judah, and reigned twelve years.
Mt 19:3 Tuomet pas jį atėjo fariziejų. Spęsdami pinkles, jie paklausė: "Ar galima vyrui dėl kokios nors priežasties atleisti žmoną? "
Mat 19:3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
Mk 15:5 Bet Jėzus daugiau nebeatsakinėjo, ir Pilotas labai stebėjosi.
Mar 15:5 But Jesus yet answered nothing; so that Pilate marvelled.
Gal 3:14 Šitaip įvyko idant per Kristų Jėzų pagonims atitektų Abraomo palaiminimas, ir mes tikėjimu gautume pažadėtąją Dvasią.
Ga 3:14 That the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.
Rom 1:29 Todėl jie pilni visokio neteisumo, piktybės, godulystės ir piktumo, pilni pavydo, žudynių, nesantaikos, klastingumo, paniekos, apkalbų.
Ro 1:29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,
Kun 15:10 Kas paliestų bet kokį daiktą, buvusį po juo, bus nešvarus ligi vakaro, o kas tokius daiktus neštų, turės išsiskalbti drabužius, išsimaudyti vandenyje ir bus nešvarus ligi vakaro.
Le 15:10 And whosoever toucheth any thing that was under him shall be unclean until the even: and he that beareth any of those things shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.
Pr 29:22 Labanas sukvietė visus vietos žmones ir iškėlė vestuves.
Ge 29:22 And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast.
Iz 1:9 Jeigu Galybių Viešpatsnebūtų palikęs mums skurdaus likučio, mes būtume tarsi Sodoma, būtume panašūs į Gomorą.
Isa 1:9 Except the LORD of hosts had left unto us a very small remnant, we should have been as Sodom, and we should have been like unto Gomorrah.
Iz 39:4 "Ką jie matė tavo rūmuose? " ­ toliau klausė Izaijas. Ezekijas atsakė: "Jie matė visa, kas tik yra mano rūmuose. Neliko nieko mano turtų rūsiuose, ko nebūčiau jiems parodęs. "
Isa 39:4 Then said he, What have they seen in thine house? And Hezekiah answered, All that is in mine house have they seen: there is nothing among my treasures that I have not shewed them.
Žyd 10:14 Vienintele atnaša jis šventinamuosius padarė tobulus amžiams.
He 10:14 For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified.
Ps 119:131 Atvira burna godžiai kvėpuoju, nes ilgiuosi tavo įsakymų.
Ps 119:131 I opened my mouth, and panted: for I longed for thy commandments.
2Kor 8:20 sergėdamiesi, kad kas nors neimtų mūsų įtarinėti dėl tokių gausių aukų, pavestų mums tvarkyti.
2C 8:20 Avoiding this, that no man should blame us in this abundance which is administered by us:
Jn 17:13 Dabar aš einu pas taveir tai kalbu pasaulyje, kad jie turėtų savyjemanojo džiaugsmo pilnatvę.
Jo 17:13 And now come I to thee; and these things I speak in the world, that they might have my joy fulfilled in themselves.
Apr 6:7 Kai atplėšė ketvirtąjį antspaudą, aš išgirdau ketvirtosios būtybės balsą sakant: "Ateik! "
Re 6:7 And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see.
Pr 30:31 Labanas klausė: "Kiek gi turiu tau mokėti? " Jokūbas atsakė: "Nieko man nemokėk! Jei man padarysi štai ką, aš vėl ganysiu ir rūpinsiuosi tavo kaimene.
Ge 30:31 And he said, What shall I give thee? And Jacob said, Thou shalt not give me any thing: if thou wilt do this thing for me, I will again feed and keep thy flock.
2Kar 11:1 Ahazijo motina Atalija, sužinojusi, kad jos sūnus mirė, nedelsdama išžudė visus karališkosios šeimos palikuonis.
2Ki 11:1 And when Athaliah the mother of Ahaziah saw that her son was dead, she arose and destroyed all the seed royal.
Iš 8:9 Mozė faraono paprašė: "Malonėk man paskirti laiką, kada turėčiau už tave, tavo pareigūnus ir valdinius prašyti, kad varlės būtų atitolintos nuo tavęs bei tavo rūmų ir liktųsi tiktai Nilo upėje. "
Ex 8:9 And Moses said unto Pharaoh, Glory over me: when shall I intreat for thee, and for thy servants, and for thy people, to destroy the frogs from thee and thy houses, that they may remain in the river only?
Apr 18:7 Kiek ji puikavo ir lėbavo, tiek jai paruoškite kentėjimų ir nuliūdimo, nes ji savo širdyje kalba: ‘Aš sėdžiu kaip karalienė, nesu našlė ir liūdesio nematysiu. ’
Re 18:7 How much she hath glorified herself, and lived deliciously, so much torment and sorrow give her: for she saith in her heart, I sit a queen, and am no widow, and shall see no sorrow.

Sanctus Corpus Deus