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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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1Kar 10:8 Laimingi tavo žmonės! Laimingi tavo dvariškiai, nuolat tau tarnaujantys ir tavo išmintį girdintys!
1Ki 10:8 Happy are thy men, happy are these thy servants, which stand continually before thee, and that hear thy wisdom.
Ezd 8:22 Mat gėdijausi prašyti karaliaus karių ar raitelių apsaugos kelyje nuo priešų, kadangi buvome sakę karaliui, kad mūsų Dievo ranka gera visiems, kurie jo ieško, bet jo galybė ir rūstybė prieš visus, kurie jį palieka.
Ezr 8:22 For I was ashamed to require of the king a band of soldiers and horsemen to help us against the enemy in the way: because we had spoken unto the king, saying, The hand of our God is upon all them for good that seek him; but his power and his wrath is against all them that forsake him.
1Kor 6:2 Ar nežinote, kad šventieji teis pasaulį? O jeigu teisite pasaulį, tai nejaugi nesugebėtumėte išspręsti menkučių bylų?
1C 6:2 Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters?
1Jn 1:2 Gyvenimas pasirodė, ir mes regėjome ir liudijame, ir skelbiame jums amžinąjį gyvenimą, kuris buvo pas Tėvą ir pasirodė mums.
1J 1:2 (For the life was manifested, and we have seen it, and bear witness, and shew unto you that eternal life, which was with the Father, and was manifested unto us;)
Iš 23:17 Tris kartus per metus visi tavo vyriškiai pasirodys Viešpaties DIEVO akivaizdoje.
Ex 23:17 Three items in the year all thy males shall appear before the LORD God.
Job 42:14 Pirmąją pavadino Jemima, antrąją Kecija ir trečiąją Keren Hapucha.
Job 42:14 And he called the name of the first, Jemima; and the name of the second, Kezia; and the name of the third, Kerenhappuch.
Job 14:17 Mano nusižengimas būtų užantspauduotas maiše, tu uždengtumei mano kaltę.
Job 14:17 My transgression is sealed up in a bag, and thou sewest up mine iniquity.
Iš 20:26 Nelipsi prie mano aukuro laiptais, idant nebūtų atidengtas tavo nuogumas.
Ex 20:26 Neither shalt thou go up by steps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon.
Apd 20:5 Šie iškeliavo pirmiau ir laukė mūsų Troadėje.
Ac 20:5 These going before tarried for us at Troas.
1Tim 6:3 Taip mokyk, taip ragink!
1Ti 6:3 If any man teach otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness;
1Pt 5:7 Paveskite jam visus savo rūpesčius, nes jis jumis rūpinasi.
1P 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
Ezd 5:3 Nedelsdami Užupio srities valdytojas Tatnajas, Šetar Boznajas ir jų bendražygiai atėję taip į juos kreipėsi: "Kas davė jums įsakymą atstatyti šiuos Namus ir užbaigti statinį? "
Ezr 5:3 At the same time came to them Tatnai, governor on this side the river, and Shetharboznai and their companions, and said thus unto them, Who hath commanded you to build this house, and to make up this wall?
Ts 4:4 Lapidoto žmona Debora buvo pranašė. Tuo metu ji buvo Izraelio teisėja.
Judg 4:4 And Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lapidoth, she judged Israel at that time.
Rom 7:18 Aš žinau, kad manyje, tai yra mano kūne, negyvena gėris. Mat gero trokšti sugebu, o padaryti ­ ne.
Ro 7:18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
Pr 22:18 visos tautos žemėje gaus palaiminimą per tavo palikuonis, nes tu buvai klusnus mano balsui. "
Ge 22:18 And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice.
1Krn 6:35 sūnaus Cūfo, sūnaus Elkanos, sūnaus Mahato, sūnaus Amasajo,
1Ch 6:35 The son of Zuph, the son of Elkanah, the son of Mahath, the son of Amasai,
Sk 33:25 Iškeliavę iš Harados, pasistatė stovyklą prie Makhelotų.
Nu 33:25 And they removed from Haradah, and pitched in Makheloth.
Iš 18:1 Mozės uošvis Jetras, Midjano kunigas, išgirdo visa, ką Dievas buvo padaręs Mozei ir savo tautai Izraeliui ir kaip Viešpats išvedė Izraelį iš Egipto.
Ex 18:1 When Jethro, the priest of Midian, Moses' father in law, heard of all that God had done for Moses, and for Israel his people, and that the LORD had brought Israel out of Egypt;
Lk 11:10 Kiekvienas, kas prašo, gauna, kas ieško, randa, ir beldžiančiam atidaroma.
Lu 11:10 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
Pr 10:24 Arpachšadui gimė Šelachas, o Šelachui ­ Eberas.
Ge 10:24 And Arphaxad begat Salah; and Salah begat Eber.

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