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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Sk 8:12 Dabar levitai uždės rankas jaučiams ant galvos, ir jis paaukos vieną kaip auką už nuodėmę, o kitą ­ kaip deginamąją auką permaldavimui už levitus.
Nu 8:12 And the Levites shall lay their hands upon the heads of the bullocks: and thou shalt offer the one for a sin offering, and the other for a burnt offering, unto the LORD, to make an atonement for the Levites.
2Krn 25:11 Amacijas susikaupė drąsiam žygiui ir, vedinas savo kariuomene, nužygiavo į Druskos slėnį. Jis nukovė dešimt tūkstančių Seyro vyrų.
2Ch 25:11 And Amaziah strengthened himself, and led forth his people, and went to the valley of salt, and smote of the children of Seir ten thousand.
1Krn 29:22 Jie antrą kartą paskelbė Dovydo sūnų Saliamoną karaliumi, patepdami jį Viešpaties akivaizdoje valdovu, o Cadoką ­ kunigu.
1Ch 29:22 And did eat and drink before the LORD on that day with great gladness. And they made Solomon the son of David king the second time, and anointed him unto the LORD to be the chief governor, and Zadok to be priest.
Neh 4:2 Savo bendrams ir Samarijos kareiviams jis kalbėjo: "Ką daro tie nuskurdėliai žydai? Argi jie galės per vieną dieną atstatyti, atnašauti aukas ir užbaigti darbus? Nejau jie gali prikelti iš dulkių krūvos tuos akmenis? Juk jie perdegę! "
Ne 4:2 And he spake before his brethren and the army of Samaria, and said, What do these feeble Jews? will they fortify themselves? will they sacrifice? will they make an end in a day? will they revive the stones out of the heaps of the rubbish which are burned?
Joz 1:13 "Atsiminkite, ką Viešpaties tarnas Mozė jums įsakė, sakydamas: ‘Viešpats, jūsų Dievas, suteikia jums poilsio vietą ir duoda šią žemę. ’
Jos 1:13 Remember the word which Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, saying, The LORD your God hath given you rest, and hath given you this land.
1Tim 6:20 O Timotiejau, sergėk tau patikėtą turtą, vengdamas pasaulio tuščiažodžiavimo ir tariamojo pažinimo prieštaringų teigimų,
1Ti 6:20 O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:
Įst 24:9 Atsimink, ką Viešpats, tavo Dievas, padarė Mirjamai kelionėje, kai išėjote iš Egipto.
De 24:9 Remember what the LORD thy God did unto Miriam by the way, after that ye were come forth out of Egypt.
Ps 147:14 Jis sukuria taiką prie tavo sienųir sotina tave geriausiais kviečiais.
Ps 147:14 He maketh peace in thy borders, and filleth thee with the finest of the wheat.
Fil 2:28 Taigi aš jį skubiai siunčiu, kad, jį pamatę, pradžiugtumėte ir aš taip neliūdėčiau.
Phil 2:28 I sent him therefore the more carefully, that, when ye see him again, ye may rejoice, and that I may be the less sorrowful.
Jn 8:18 Taigi liudiju aš pats apie save, ir apie mane liudija mane atsiuntęs Tėvas. "
Jo 8:18 I am one that bear witness of myself, and the Father that sent me beareth witness of me.
Ts 21:22 Jeigu jų tėvai ar broliai ateitų pas mus skųstis, sakysime jiems: ‘Būkite kilniaširdžiai jiems dėl mūsų! Mes negalėjome parūpinti nė vienam iš jų žmonos dėl to karo, o jūs būtumėte užsitraukę kaltę, patys jiems žmonas duodami. ’"
Judg 21:22 And it shall be, when their fathers or their brethren come unto us to complain, that we will say unto them, Be favourable unto them for our sakes: because we reserved not to each man his wife in the war: for ye did not give unto them at this time, that ye should be guilty.
Ez 13:7 Argi ne tuščią regėjimą matėte ir argi ne melagingą žyniavimą skelbėte, sakydami: ‘Tai Viešpaties žodis’, nors aš nekalbėjau? "
Eze 13:7 Have ye not seen a vain vision, and have ye not spoken a lying divination, whereas ye say, The LORD saith it; albeit I have not spoken?
1Pt 3:6 Taip Sara klausė Abraomo ir vadino jį viešpačiu. Jūs tapote jos dukterimis, darydamos gera ir nebijodamos jokių bauginimų.
1P 3:6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1Kor 13:4 Meilė kantri, meilė maloninga, ji nepavydi; meilė nesididžiuoja ir neišpuiksta.
1C 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Lk 21:15 aš jums duosiu tokios iškalbos bei išminties, kad negalės nei atsispirti, nei prieštarauti nė vienas jūsų priešininkas.
Lu 21:15 For I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which all your adversaries shall not be able to gainsay nor resist.
1Sam 14:1 Vieną dieną Sauliaus sūnus Jehonatanas tarė savo jaunam ginklanešiui: "Eikš, paėjėkime iki filistinų įgulos kitoje pusėje. " Bet savo tėvui apie tai nepasakė.
1Sa 14:1 Now it came to pass upon a day, that Jonathan the son of Saul said unto the young man that bare his armour, Come, and let us go over to the Philistines' garrison, that is on the other side. But he told not his father.
Lk 15:3 Tuomet Jėzus pasakė jiems palyginimą:
Lu 15:3 And he spake this parable unto them, saying,
Ts 19:17 Pakėlęs akis ir pamatęs miesto aikštėje pakeleivį, senasis vyras teiravosi: "Kur eini ir iš kur ateini? "
Judg 19:17 And when he had lifted up his eyes, he saw a wayfaring man in the street of the city: and the old man said, Whither goest thou? and whence comest thou?
Kun 23:29 Iš tikrųjų, kas tą dieną nepasninkautų, bus pašalintas iš savo tautos.
Le 23:29 For whatsoever soul it be that shall not be afflicted in that same day, he shall be cut off from among his people.
2Kar 22:3 Aštuonioliktais karaliaus Jošijo metais karalius pasiuntė raštininką Mešulamo sūnaus Acalijo sūnų Šafaną į Viešpaties Namus, tardamas:
2Ki 22:3 And it came to pass in the eighteenth year of king Josiah, that the king sent Shaphan the son of Azaliah, the son of Meshullam, the scribe, to the house of the LORD, saying,

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