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Try not to play with this holy e-confession equipment, because God will punish you.

E-Confession
E-Confession

Prompted by Vatican's idea to use Internet for spreading God's word, we have decided to provide confession service through Internet to sinners, who are visiting our website. We hope that we will be able to save a few souls from Satan's snares. Anonymity is guaranteed. Connection with priest encoded by the algorithm of Holy Spirit. We will help you to perform this sacred duty of every person and you will be able to redeem your sins and repent of the evils committed without leaving comfort of your home. Your confession will be sent directly to our computerized confessional. The program will calculate your sins, evaluate their heaviness and will assign punishment. All electronic devices have been sanctified and the program is developed in strict accordance with all religious canons and rules. Since everything will be calculate by machinery and artificial intelligence, we can guarantee the most objective and unbiased evaluation.

1. Specify how many times you sinned of particular sin.
2. Choose whether you are a priest, Christian or unbeliever.
3. Press the button at the bottom and you will receive punishments.

God ensures greater grace and forgiveness for priests, because their life is hard and committed. As a result, intercourse with children, even sexually, for priests is not a big deal or significant sin. It is more like holy sex education for children. But for godless people similar sin burden is high. God will not forgive them for the slightest dirt. For infidelities and for not kissing hands of priests God will tear out eyes, will rip off legs and hands, will burn in eternal fire of Hell, you infidel muck! So accept the Lord and He will teach you, scum, some heavenly love and true spiritual values​​, not your atheistic descent and moral degradation, in which you are without God, our Father.

If you have divine feeling that our system is missing some sins or punishments, you can leave your suggestions in our Forums or Comments section.

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Lk 2:24 ir duoti auką, kaip pasakyta Viešpaties Įstatyme: Porą purplelių arba du balandžiukus.
Lu 2:24 And to offer a sacrifice according to that which is said in the law of the Lord, A pair of turtledoves, or two young pigeons.
2Kar 13:1 Dvidešimt trečiais Judo karaliaus Ahazijo sūnaus Jehoašo metais Jehuvo sūnus Jehoahazas tapo Izraelio karaliumi ir karaliavo Samarijoje septyniolika metų.
2Ki 13:1 In the three and twentieth year of Joash the son of Ahaziah king of Judah Jehoahaz the son of Jehu began to reign over Israel in Samaria, and reigned seventeen years.
Ps 60:7 Man priklauso Gileadas ir Manasas; Efraimas ­ mano šalmas, Judas ­ mano skeptras.
Ps 60:7 Gilead is mine, and Manasseh is mine; Ephraim also is the strength of mine head; Judah is my lawgiver;
Iš 23:29 Neišvarysiu jų tau iš akių per vienerius metus, kad kraštas netaptų dykyne ir neprivistų tau žalingų laukinių žvėrių.
Ex 23:29 I will not drive them out from before thee in one year; lest the land become desolate, and the beast of the field multiply against thee.
2Kar 14:24 Jis darė, kas nedora Viešpaties akyse, ir neatsisakė visų Nebato sūnaus Jeroboamo nuodėmių, kuriomis jis įvedė Izraelį į nuodėmę.
2Ki 14:24 And he did that which was evil in the sight of the LORD: he departed not from all the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, who made Israel to sin.
Ez 16:45 Tu tikra savo motinos duktė, pametusi vyrą ir vaikus, tu ­ sesuo savo seserų, palikusių vyrus ir vaikus. Jūsų motina buvo hetitė, o tėvas amoritas!
Eze 16:45 Thou art thy mother's daughter, that lotheth her husband and her children; and thou art the sister of thy sisters, which lothed their husbands and their children: your mother was an Hittite, and your father an Amorite.
Ps 141:9 Apsaugok mane nuo man paspęstų jų žabangų, nuo nedorėlių pinklių.
Ps 141:9 Keep me from the snares which they have laid for me, and the gins of the workers of iniquity.
Lk 12:59 Sakau tau: iš ten neišeisi, kol neatsiteisi ligi paskutinio skatiko . "
Lu 12:59 I tell thee, thou shalt not depart thence, till thou hast paid the very last mite.
Jn 3:5 Jėzus atsakė: "Iš tiesų, iš tiesų sakau tau: kas negims iš vandens ir Dvasios, neįeis į Dievo karalystę.
Jo 3:5 Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
Jn 4:35 Argi jūs nesakote: ‘Dar keturi mėnesiai, ir ateis pjūtis’? Štai sakau jums: pakelkite akis ir pažiūrėkite į laukus; jie jau boluoja ir prinokę pjūčiai.
Jo 4:35 Say not ye, There are yet four months, and then cometh harvest? behold, I say unto you, Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are white already to harvest.
1Kor 3:10 Dievo man suteikta malone aš, kaip išmanus statybos vadovas, padėjau pamatą, o kitas stato toliau. Tegul kiekvienas žiūrisi, kaip ant jo statyti.
1C 3:10 According to the grace of God which is given unto me, as a wise masterbuilder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon.
Jn 19:15 Tie ėmė šaukti: "Šalin, šalin! Ant kryžiaus jį! " Pilotas paklausė: "Nejaugi turiu nukryžiuoti jūsų karalių? " Aukštieji kunigai atsakė: "Mes neturime karaliaus, tiktai ciesorių. "
Jo 19:15 But they cried out, Away with him, away with him, crucify him. Pilate saith unto them, Shall I crucify your King? The chief priests answered, We have no king but Caesar.
Jer 42:12 Kadangi aš jums gailestingas, jis elgsis su jumis gailestingai ir leis jums grįžti į jūsų gimtąją žemę.
Jer 42:12 And I will shew mercies unto you, that he may have mercy upon you, and cause you to return to your own land.
Iš 29:13 Paimsi visus taukus, dengiančius vidurius, kepenų lezgį, abu inkstus su taukais, esančiais ant jų, ir paversi juos dūmais ant aukuro.
Ex 29:13 And thou shalt take all the fat that covereth the inwards, and the caul that is above the liver, and the two kidneys, and the fat that is upon them, and burn them upon the altar.
Apd 18:23 Šiek tiek pabuvęs, vėl leidosi į kelionę, eidamas per galatų kraštą, per Frygiją ir stiprindamas visus mokinius.
Ac 18:23 And after he had spent some time there, he departed, and went over all the country of Galatia and Phrygia in order, strengthening all the disciples.
Pr 30:20 Lėja sakė: "Dievas davė man rinktinę dovaną. Šį kartą mano vyras atneš man dovanų, nes pagimdžiau jam šešis sūnus. " Ir pavadino jį Zabulonu.
Ge 30:20 And Leah said, God hath endued me with a good dowry; now will my husband dwell with me, because I have born him six sons: and she called his name Zebulun.
Pat 10:16 Teisiojo uždarbis veda į gyvenimą, o nedorėlio pelnas ­ į nuodėmę.
Pr 10:16 The labour of the righteous tendeth to life: the fruit of the wicked to sin.
2Kar 10:25 Vos baigus atnašauti deginamąją auką, Jehuvas įsakė sargams ir pareigūnams: "Ateikite ir išžudykite juos! Teneištrūksta nė vienas! " Tad jie išžudė juos kalaviju ir paliko ten gulėti. Tada įėjo į Baalo šventyklą ir,
2Ki 10:25 And it came to pass, as soon as he had made an end of offering the burnt offering, that Jehu said to the guard and to the captains, Go in, and slay them; let none come forth. And they smote them with the edge of the sword; and the guard and the captains cast them out, and went to the city of the house of Baal.
Joz 22:33 Izraelitai buvo patenkinti, jie šlovino Dievą ir daugiau nebesirengė eiti prieš juos į karą naikinti krašto, kuriame buvo įsikūrę Rubeno ir Gado žmonės.
Jos 22:33 And the thing pleased the children of Israel; and the children of Israel blessed God, and did not intend to go up against them in battle, to destroy the land wherein the children of Reuben and Gad dwelt.
2Krn 18:2 Praslinkus keletui metų, jis nuvyko pas Ahabą į Samariją. Ahabas papjovė apsčiai avių bei jaučių jam ir žmonėms, kurie buvo su juo, ir prikalbino eiti į žygį prieš Ramot Gileadą.
2Ch 18:2 And after certain years he went down to Ahab to Samaria. And Ahab killed sheep and oxen for him in abundance, and for the people that he had with him, and persuaded him to go up with him to Ramothgilead.

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